The end of a cycle of almost ten years

- Hello, Ana... How long!

I felt her tight hug and returned it. I liked Anna so much. And I've missed you over these two years.

- Come in... Please.

She walked away and I walked in, standing.

- Always feel at home here, Barbara. You know how much I love you.

- Thanks. - I said sitting down.

- I'll make us some coffee.

- No need... I'll be right there. I'm just passing through. I have an appointment right away. – I lied.

- Please... I let myself offer you a coffee.

I nodded, knowing this could be important to her.

Ana went to the kitchen. Certainly the boys were not at home, as it was very quiet in that huge house.

I looked at the pictures hanging on the wall and picture frames on the bookshelf. Everything had the image of Jardel... And some of the two of us together. I was still inside her house, as a souvenir.

I saw my stamped smile and our kisses from different angles for photos and I was wondering if I was happy in those moments, next to him. Because I remembered the detail of each photo, where it was taken, what happened before and after.

Yes, maybe I was happy, because I loved him at first. But then everything was so bad that I believe the good times were erased from my memory, along with the love I thought I felt.

- It didn't have to be like this... - I took the photo and observed his image, with his eyes fixed on mine and a happy and mischievous smile, of that good-natured and funny boy who was once in that body . – We could have worked out.

- And they would have worked, Barbara. – Ana said, bringing me a cup of black coffee without sugar, as I liked it. “If it hadn't been for his father's adulterer to be gone.

- Do you really think that was the cause of everything, Ana? I asked seriously.

- I... I think it all started there.

- I wonder if it was really that... Or something else. After all, he always used marijuana.

- But he was upset when his father left.

- However, he never went to look for him afterwards... At no time. He liked adventures... challenges. Maybe the drug was that for him.

- My son's end was tragic... - She took the picture from my hand. – And I always try to remember him like this: healthy and happy.

- Me too. - I lied, because the bad times stood out and there was nothing left of good memories.

- I know he hurt you and did so much harm... - She took my empty hand, which wasn't holding the cup. “But he loved her… until his last breath. You were the only woman in his life.

- No... I wasn't the only one and we know that.

- He didn't know what he was doing anymore when he got involved with those drugged sluts. He always loved you, Barbara. Ever...

- And if you loved so much, would you have done everything you did? I asked aloud, mostly to myself.

- I don't doubt his love for you... I never doubted. I still remember his joy when he first brought her here. His eyes never shined so bright... His smile was so sincere...

- Where are the boys? I asked, trying to change the subject.

Even though I was at his house, I didn't want to talk about what happened. And maybe that's exactly what took me so long to go back there and see Ana, even though I liked her. The fear of reliving everything I tried to forget for two long years.

- They left... One for each side. - He smiled. “They're good boys, believe me.

- I dont doubt. What happened to Jardel won't necessarily happen to them. I imagine how grown up they are... And beautiful.

- Yeah... They're all I have left. I got a little possessive of them. - She smiled. - But they understand all my zeal.

- And Paul?

- Paulo only attended the funeral. Then he went back to that woman and we never heard from him again these two years. He doesn't even look for the boys.

- Maybe it's better this way, Ana. You can't beg for love or try to fix something that's already broken. You can even paste ... But it will never be the same.

- It took me a while to realize that. But unfortunately I couldn't forgive him. I gave him everything a wife and woman can give... I did my best. And yet he left me... Just like he abandoned his children.

- I know it still hurts ... But I believe that one day it will pass... - I squeezed her hand affectionately. - Nothing lasts forever... Much less sadness.

- Have you... Have you ever met someone else?

- No. – I confessed.

- Because?

- I... I want to focus on work... Take a specialization course...

- You need to move on. She looked into my eyes. - There is no evil that lasts forever... As you said yourself. You need to give yourself a chance to meet someone.

- It's not time.

- You can't be afraid, Barbara. Not all men will make you suffer. You are young, beautiful... A strong, fighting woman... You deserve someone special... To take care of you... To give you all the love you deserve, my dear.

I put the coffee cup on the coffee table and got up:

- I... I just came to give you a hug and see how you were doing. - Smile. - Need to go.

- I'd like you to stay longer. But I won't force you.

Seeing his image from all sides was suffocating me, as if someone was squeezing my throat and leaving me breathless.

I hugged her tightly:

- I wish from the bottom of my heart that you are very happy, Ana.

- There's no way to be happy if I lost a piece of me. – She said in my ear, her voice weak and I imagined she was crying. “Seeing you brought me a little bit of him… of good things.

- I... I need to go... - I wiped the tear that threatened to fall from my eye.

I opened the door and took a deep breath of the street air, trying to recover.

- Barbara, have I already thanked you for everything you did for my son?

- I don't want thanks, Ana.

- A woman would never do what you did. It was strong... She held out until the last minute beside him. And I know you didn't have that obligation. He was bad... He was cruel... And violent. And yet you didn't leave him. Because I knew that wasn't really him...

No, that's not why I didn't leave him. I stayed out of fear, out of cowardice, out of impotence. In the end, I no longer cared about who the real Jardel was. I just hoped it would end once and for all... The way it had to be. Little did she know that I celebrated her son's death. But yeah... Despite everything, I stayed until the last breath he took... Because he wouldn't let me out.

smiled, pretending that everything was exactly the way she imagined it.

- Barbara, I want you to be very happy.

- I will be. - I said hopefully and positively.

- Why do I think we'll never see each other again? – she asked.

Yes, we would not see each other again. Because I wouldn't look for it. That was really a farewell... From everything that reminded me of Jardel.

- Be well, Anna. Love you.

- I will keep you forever in my prayers, Barbara. And thanks again.

I waved and left, closing the gate, which I would surely never reopen again. It was the end of a cycle of almost ten years.

I took a deep breath, until my lungs felt full and breathing returned to normal. I didn't want to see Jardel again... Not even in pictures. Mine I had already burned everything and erased what was left from my cell phone.

And that's how I put a rock on my eight-year relationship with Jardel, my one and only love and at the same time the man who broke me, who broke me into a thousand pieces and who I thought I would never be able to put together. them again, because I didn't believe in glued pieces. Eight bad years are gone, and two years have been mourning myself. But life still went on.

And I didn't need a man to be happy, as everyone told me. I just needed a good job so I could do things I liked: walk around, see the sea, travel to other countries, try new foods and do different things. I needed to start my adventure. And she didn't need a partner. I could be happy alone.

I called the app driver on my cell phone and waited in the plaza for more than twenty minutes for someone to show up to take me back to the capital of Noriah North.

As soon as I got into the back seat of the car, I picked up my cell phone again, to see if there were any messages from Ben or Salma. But nothing...

- How did you end up here, so far away? the driver asked me.

I looked at him in the rearview mirror, taking in his clean-shaven face with clear eyes. His well-cut hair was blond and curly. He was no stranger to me.

- I... I came to visit a relative. he said dryly, not wanting to talk about me.

- You don't remember me, do you? He laughed, looking at me in the mirror.

"No..." I said, confused, trying to revive my memory.

- I served you three beers this past night: chocolate with pepper, cherry and mint.

I laughed:

- I remembered you... The bartender who warned me that I would get drunk.

- By the way, I didn't see her dancing naked on the dance floor. – he joked.

- I would have done that before. My night was bad. - I kept my cell phone in my bag.

- Didn't like Babylon? This is not common.

- Well... I'm still trying to figure out how you remember the order of my drinks. - I arched my eyebrow. – How about giving me some of your good memory?

- I don't usually remember everyone's drink... Only the most important ones.

- And I don't usually fall for this kind of pick-up. - I was sincere, making it very clear that I would not fall into his seduction game.

- If I say that I don't usually use it to conquer someone, would you believe it? He smiled sweetly, showing straight white teeth, matching his full lips.

- I'll try to believe that you have a good memory, period.

- And I really am, I won't deny it. But I still wonder how you got so far in such a short time.

- I came to visit my grandmother... Long story. But I worry about finding you as my chauffeur... I wonder if you slept or came straight to your other job? My life is at risk... Like, if you fall asleep while driving?

He laughed:

- I'm responsible. I got home at seven in the morning. I slept until five. I made the first run to the neighboring town. Then you called. If I'm lucky, I won't be leaving the capital for the rest of the night.

- So today you won't be a bartender? Only app driver?

- Day off... One Saturday in life, another in death. I can say you were very lucky to have me as your driver this early evening, lady. - laughed .

- Damn luck. - I ironized. – Two jobs. They must pay the hell out of Babylon officials.

- Life is not easy. In order to have something, you have to give up some things. In this case, I give up leisure. I aim to raise money.

- For... - I was curious.

- I want to go to Noriah South.

I arched an eyebrow in surprise:

- It's usually the other way around. Who is from Noriah South wants to come to Noriah North... Due to better job opportunities.

- Yes ... But I have a reason to want to go.

- Love?

- Love. He nodded, frowning.

I sighed:

- Okay, you're forgiven if that's the reason... What's your name again?

- Actually, I still haven't said it. He glanced at me.

- I'm Barbara. But you can call me Babi.

- I'm Daniel, but you can call me Dani, in case you find me in another race or in Babylon, when you order a beer. Or even in a square, in another bar... In your house.

I rolled my eyes:

- I don't know if I'll go back there... In fact, the possibility of me going back is almost zero.

- Wow, he must have really hated it.

- The place doesn't... The people do.

- Rich people aren't always nice.

- And what makes you think I'm not? It has poor writing on my forehead. - I laughed, sure of his answer.

- I'm sorry if I offended you. It wasn't my intention... Rich woman who uses app car paying by credit card. He held himself not to laugh as he spoke.

- All right, I'm kidding. I crashed... I have a friend who works there.

- Hmm... Service entrance?

- Yea.

- We've all done it. - He laughed.

- I... I think I may have had problems with the owner of Babylon and his wife.

- Wife? He wrinkled his forehead. – Are you talking about Hector Casanova?

- Yes, I think so. The man who is in pictures all over the gigantic wall with the famous who have frequented Babylon.

- He is not married. He's engaged.

- Okay, whatever. Honestly, I didn't like his fiancee, the peroxide blonde. I know she dances like hell, but she's a...

- His fiancee is not blonde. Is brunette. And she doesn't dance.