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Chapter One Hundred and Seventeen

作者: Bellaboy
last update 公開日: 2026-01-26 13:41:48

“ Do you still think you won't be able to forgive yourself?” my therapist, Dr Sturgis, asked, her legs crossed while holding a book and a pen.

I relaxed back into the chair and let out a breath.

It's been a year since everything went south, since Cole and Basil found out about each other. I tried to apologize, but they both wouldn't let me. I visited Cole several times, but he wouldn't open the door, Basil even moved to a new place just so that I wouldn't be able to trace him again.

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  • I Never Hated You     Chapter 44

    “Favorite food?” I asked.“Sushi.”“Really?”He nodded and reached into the chip bag.“I’ve never seen you eat sushi.”“Because Mom doesn’t like fish, so we can’t have it at home.”“But you haven’t gotten it here.”“I have. You just weren’t home. Where do you think I get those dumplings you like?”“I’ve never had sushi.”“No?” He glanced at me.“Nope. Dad isn’t a fan of fish either. And the idea of eating raw anything is a bit icky.”“It’s good stuff. Have you tried seaweed salad?”“Gross.” I wrinkled my nose.“It’s better than it sounds. Chewy, and it has to have the right dressing. But I love it.”“Maybe I’ll try it someday.”“What about you? What’s your favorite?”“Nachos.”“Yeah?”“Oh yeah. Especially loaded up with all the things.”He snickered. “I’m down for nachos as long as there’s no guac.”“What?” I stared at him in horror. “The guac is necessary. Like a vital part of the equation.”“I don’t like avocado. It’s just green mush.”“Your palette is so pedestrian.”“Said the guy

  • I Never Hated You     Chapter 43

    Jules’s POVWhat was going on?Last night was still a bit spotty, but I remembered every detail of what Gavin had done to me in the bathroom. I also remembered how Ash had burst in and broken that asshole’s nose. How he’d taken care of me after, hugging and comforting me and making sure I got home safe.I vaguely recalled my nightmares, didn’t remember Ash climbing into bed with me at all, but I’d felt safe when I’d woken up with his big, warm body wrapped around me.That feeling had lasted until the memories had come back in full force, but Ash had surprised me once again by comforting me, talking to me like I was an actual person, and getting us food.“I don’t understand why you like this show.”“It’s amazeballs.”Ash snorted as he reached into the bag of chips between us, and dug out a handful.We were sitting on his bed, against the headboard, watching one of my comfort shows on his TV.The entire situation was surreal.Ash had gone out to get us food and coffee while I’d taken a

  • I Never Hated You     Chapter 42

    “You really are a kitten, you know that, right?”“Shut up,” he huffed out, amusement tinging his voice as he kept on nuzzling me. “You smell good.”“I didn’t know you were friends with Elle.”“You know her?”“Yeah. She and her sorority sisters end up at a lot of the parties I go to.”“Do you know her… like that?”“Why?” My voice was teasing and mild, amused.“No reason.”“Awww, is my little kitten jealous?”“Shut up.” He pressed his face in my neck and breathed in.“To answer your question, no. I never hooked up with Elle. She’s a sweetheart, but I don’t like her like that.”“But you and Genesis…”“We had a bit of a thing last year. We hooked up a few times, but she started getting clingy and serious, so I ended it.”“Elle said you’re getting back together.”“We were never together. And no. She’s a nice girl but too much drama. She’s looking for something I can’t give her.”He snorted and turned his face so his cheek was pressed against my chest.“What?” I asked.“You’re complaining a

  • I Never Hated You     Chapter 41

    I’d never been into cuddling. I did enough so that the chicks I’d slept with didn’t feel neglected, but that was it. I didn’t sleep with people unless I had no other choice. I could count on one hand the number of times I’d shared a bed with someone, and I’d never once cuddled with a guy.Jules felt good in my arms. Solid and warm, his scent familiar. I liked it.His breathing deepened, and he fell asleep. Holding him felt right. Like he’d been made to fit with me. The possessive streak that shot through me was sudden and unexpected.Jules felt like mine.But he wasn’t.No one ever would be. I was a fuckup. An inconvenience. I wasn’t good enough for someone like Jules. He had every reason in the world to hate me.Maybe that was for the best.Being with Jules was easy. Too easy. Sexually we were compatible as all hell, but the more we talked, the more I liked him.Was it possible I’d misdirected my anger and Jules hadn’t deserved the hatred I’d been slinging at him for the past five ye

  • I Never Hated You     Chapter 40

    Ash’s POVI bolted awake, sitting straight up. My chest was tight, and my mind raced, still hazy from sleep, as I looked around the dark room. What hadwoken me?An anguished cry echoed through the silent apartment.Jules?I was off my bed and racing out of my room in a flash. I skidded to a stop in front of his door and carefully opened it, not wanting to freak him out.He was still asleep. Curled up on his side and hugging his pillow, the sheets around hiswaist as he sobbed brokenly.“Shit.”What was the protocol when someone was having a nightmare? Should I wake him up? I didn’t want to scare him, but there was no way I could leave him like that.“Jules?”My voice was barely loud enough to carry over the steady stream of his sobs.“Jules?” I asked louder and stepped into his room, closing the door behind me.“Help,” he wailed, the sound heartbreaking and visceral.“Jules, wake up.”I knelt beside his bed and gently touched his shoulder.“Ash!” he screamed, pulling away from my touc

  • I Never Hated You     Chapter 39

    “Breathe, Jules. You’re safe now.” He turned us and propped me against the counter. “Just breathe.”I tried to do as he said, my liquor-addled brain not quite comprehending what was happening.My chest was tight, but my lungs burned, as if a boulder was sitting on my chest.I could breathe in, but I couldn’t breathe out. Ash undid the button on my jeans.“I can’t,” I gasped, pushing weakly at his hands. “Not now.”“I’m not trying to fuck you. I’m just pulling your pants up.”The world was starting to go fuzzy around the edges. I was drunk and couldn’t focus on anything as my oxygen-starved brain screamed at me that I was about to die.Ash pulled up my pants, covering my ass, then buttoned them back up with skilled fingers.“Jules.” He put his hands lightly on my shoulders. “Focus on me and breathe. You’re okay. You’re safe.”Was I?“Breathe in. Then out. Just focus on me and do what I do.”I stared up at him blearily. Tremors ran through me. He yanked me against his chest, folding me

  • I Never Hated You     Chapter Seventeen

    The man talked to squirrels. The man made promises to squirrels. And from what Mark had seen, he kept the promises too. There were several pine cones covered in peanut butter set out in the backyard when Mark arrived at the house on Monday morning, and they definitely hadn’t been there the day befo

    last update最終更新日 : 2026-03-27
  • I Never Hated You     Chapter Twenty-five

    It was several blocks before Lucas’s battered body wore through the strange rush of adrenaline that had powered his escape from the church. He slowed from the near-jog he’d been traveling at and sagged against the brick wall of the nearest store. The priest was crazy.No, that was disrespectful. Th

    last update最終更新日 : 2026-03-27
  • I Never Hated You     Chapter Nineteen

    Mark was washing up after one of his rare dinners at home when his cell phone rang. He answered it and heard a lightly accented male voice.“Mark Webber? This is Karl Aachen, from the Emergency Room at the Health Care Center. I’m trying to track down a contact person for a recent admission, and he

    last update最終更新日 : 2026-03-27
  • I Never Hated You     Chapter Sixteen

    By Sunday afternoon it was clear that life at the halfway house was going to be easy. All the same strategies that had served Lucas in prison worked just as well in this new environment. He did what he was told, kept his head down, and used his intimidating stare if anyone tried to mess with him. T

    last update最終更新日 : 2026-03-27
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