Chapter 2 - I Want An Open Marriage

RACHEL

He dragged me and shoved me into the living room as soon as we got home. He was so rough that I misstepped and almost slumped.

“What was that you pulled at the reunion? Do you have no respect for me?” he barked, closing the gap between us.

I stood upright with my arms akimbo. There was no pride left after exhausting everything on Jeremy and this marriage.

The only thing remaining was my brazenness, and I wouldn’t tone it down to make him feel like a man. Never.

“What do you think it was, Jeremy? I wouldn’t have done that if you had an iota of respect for me… your wife,” I fired back with an unwavering gaze.

He was taken aback, but it took only a second before his expression returned to one of scorn.

“What did I do, Rachel? What was so bad about having fun?” he flared, throwing his hands in the air. “Getting married to you shouldn’t stop me from doing things that make me happy.”

I burst into laughter at his statement. Tears rolled down my face as I laughed… tears of pain and frustration. Despite everything, he didn’t find anything wrong with what he did.

This motherfucker was still justifying his actions.

“Just having fun?” I scoffed. “Doing things that make you happy? Does that include disrespecting our vows? Our love? Our marriage?” My voice croaked. I struggled to push back the tears burning in my eyes and surging within me.

Before today, I would cry, kneel, and beg him to stop tainting our marital vows, but not anymore. I’m exhausted. I just want to breathe without thinking about a husband whose eyes don’t stay off anything under a skirt.

He let out a light laugh, erased the gap between us, and gripped my shoulders firmly. “Things aren’t as serious as they seem, Rachel. You’re the one making everything look like a problem when it isn’t,” he deadpanned. “It’s not disrespect if I’m having fun outside. I didn’t bring them into our home,” he added with sheer nonchalance.

A scoff escaped my lips. My husband wasn’t as smart as I thought he was. Maybe I was the one who placed too many expectations on him. I just couldn’t believe the things he was saying.

“You are unbelievable, Jeremy,” I spat out, my voice shaking. I moved away from his grip and shook my head. “You are unbelievable, and you sound so dumb.”

His brows creased. “Did you just call me dumb? Huh, Rachel?” he spurted out, appalled.

Instead of responding to him, I hissed and left his presence. It was no use speaking with him when he was drunk. I bet he wouldn’t even remember this whole issue by morning.

⸻

I woke up before anyone else the next day even though I failed to sleep early. I know I promised myself not to cry over him anymore, but I just couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down. They kept coming even as I tried to hold them back.

My head was filled with thoughts of him. Before marriage, he was all over me. He promised to be faithful, to give me the kind of marriage I’d always prayed for. Then how did everything get to this stage? To a stage where he had no respect for me and what we shared?

I went straight to the kitchen and made breakfast, hoping we could fix whatever was left of us and put the past behind us.

While I was setting the dining table, I saw him walk down the stairs, come over, and take a seat. I joined him afterward, and we ate silently. I sneaked peeks at him with every bite. This wasn’t the attitude I expected from him after what happened between us yesterday.

I thought he would still be angry over the argument, but I guessed it wasn’t as serious as I imagined.

“Let’s talk about us, Rachel.”

The silence at the table broke. He took several sips of tea and put the mug down. “We can’t keep fighting over the same topic every time. I’m exhausted already.”

My brain froze for a moment as I comprehended his statement. An ominous feeling settled in my chest. He was either about to ask for a divorce or promise to change for good, but I knew the latter wasn’t an option. Change wasn’t a part of Jeremy.

I didn’t say a word. I silently finished my meal, cleared the table, and returned to my seat.

“What is it you want to talk about, Jeremy?” I asked, intertwining my hands to stop them from shaking.

“Uhm… A lot has been going on in our marriage,” he began.

I nodded in agreement, pursing my lips. “A lot… yeah,” I muttered.

“You aren’t giving me the opportunity to explore, Rachel. This marriage feels tight and uncomfortable,” he revealed, looking serious and defensive. “I feel suffocated. Restricted. Locked in,” he added, emphasizing every word. “This isn’t what marriage should feel like. I should be free, not bounded. I should be comfortable, not choked.”

My lashes fluttered, and I scoffed in disbelief. Lowering my head, I forced out a smile to stop my emotions from taking over me.

Raising my head, I responded, “So, are you saying I’ve been suffocating you?” I tried not to let the shakiness in my voice show.

“No, Rachel. That’s not the point. I’m just saying you’re too strict with some policies, and it’s really causing a lot between us,” he defended, and I burst into a few bubbles of sad laughter.

I hated that he was beating around the bush when he could just come clean and be straightforward with me. The anxiety and nervousness sprouting within me could make me pass out if he didn’t say the words soon.

“I think I know where this is going, Jeremy.” I nibbled on my lower lip and dug my nails into my lap to stop myself from breaking down. “You don’t need to keep going back and forth. You’re a man. Talk to me. What do you want? What’s the solution to all the problems you think we have?”

“Let’s have an open marriage, Rachel,” he told me plainly. His eyes lacked emotion. He was just there… neutral and expressionless, like he hadn’t just dropped a bomb.

I didn’t react for a few seconds because I was still trying to make sure I hadn’t heard wrong.

“Did I hear that correctly?” My face tightened.

“You heard correctly, Rachel,” he confirmed. “Listen to me… this decision is for the best. You will stop worrying about my affairs, and I will also stop worrying about hurting you. It works for both of us,” he added.

I snorted. This had to be the funniest joke of the century. A multitude of emotions swirled in my belly. I didn’t know the right reaction to give in this situation. Should I shout? Cry? Or even slap him for the disrespect?

The annoying part was Jeremy’s nonchalance. He didn’t seem to realize how dumb his suggestion was.

“Are you listening to me?” His voice drifted into my ears and broke my train of thought.

When I stared at him, uncontrollable laughter erupted from my lungs, and I cackled without restraint. He was damn joking. He had to be. Open marriage? What the hell was that?

“You’re joking, right?” I muttered amidst my laughter, covering my mouth with my palm. “No, Jeremy. You have to be joking,” I let out.

His expressionless face morphed into confusion, and then a smile spread across it. “No, Rachel. I’m damn serious. An open marriage will work best for us.”

I shook my head. “No. No. No.” My tone held disbelief. “You have to be joking. You can’t be serious. I’m not believing this shit.”

“You should stop this, Rachel. Your denial isn’t—”

I cut him short.

“And what if I object?” My voice was firm and stern, just like my gaze.

“You have no right to. I thought about this for days before bringing it up. Trust me, there’s no way on earth I’m gonna do anything that will hurt you,” he explained.

A few bubbles of laughter escaped my mouth. “You wouldn’t do anything that would hurt me, huh? What do you think you’re doing to me right now, Jeremy? Helping me?” I paused and gulped down the lump clogging my throat. “Answer me. Are you doing me a favor right now?” I snarled, hitting the table.

He tilted his head slightly. “Well, if you ask me… I’d say yes.”

My brows creased. “What?!”

Just then, his phone lit up and rang.

His lips widened into an excited smile when he glanced at the caller ID.

At that moment, it felt like my heart was being trampled on. It was easy to know one of the bitches was on the phone. Tears rushed to my eyelids, burning as they gathered. My blood boiled. My body shook, but I held back.

“Excuse me, honey. I need to pick someone up outside.” He stood up and headed out without waiting for my response.

Gritting my teeth, I clenched my fists and placed them on the table. I was afraid my outburst might ruin everything this morning. No wonder he came into my bedroom and acted all perfect earlier. He was preparing me for a greater disaster.

A minute later, I heard approaching footsteps, and the door opened, revealing a familiar yet unfamiliar face. She was followed by my husband, who dragged in two pieces of luggage.

I sprang up from my seat the moment I recognized her. “What the hell is she doing here? Why is she in our matrimonial home?” I fired, leaving the dining area and dashing into the living room.

“Calm down, Rachel,” Jeremy muttered. Then he held her hand and, with a smile, introduced, “Meet Clara. My girlfriend. She’ll be staying with us from now on.”

“What?!” I spurted out.

My world tilted.