Chapter 3

Natalie was working late in the study.

At eleven, I brought her a glass of milk.

The door was cracked open.

She was on the phone, using a soft voice I hadn't heard in forever.

"Yeah, get some sleep. We'll talk tomorrow. I miss you too."

She hung up, looked over, and froze when she saw me in the doorway.

"Why aren't you asleep?"

"Do you always talk to your employees like that?"

"I was talking normally. Don't overthink it."

I said nothing.

Just turned and walked away.

A second later, the study door clicked shut.

She'd never closed it before.

I waited twenty minutes.

When she walked into the bedroom and saw I was still awake—

"Natalie, I need to tell you something.

"I have an ability. I've had it since I was a kid. Whenever I touch someone, I see the face of the person they love most."

She stopped halfway through taking off her jacket.

"The first time I touched you, when we were seven, I saw myself.

"When you held my hand at eighteen, I saw myself.

"When you proposed, I saw myself.

"On the morning of our third anniversary, I touched your ankle and saw two faces.

"Mine. And Ryan's."

She stayed quiet for a long time.

Then she laughed.

"You really do have an imagination. Getting bored staying home by yourself?"

"I'm not joking. Every word is true."

Her smile disappeared. "Are you under too much stress? Maybe you should see a doctor."

I stood and took her hand.

"Let me touch you. Right now. Close your eyes and think of one person. I'll tell you who's in your heart."

She pulled her hand back.

Not hard.

Just final.

"Jake Jensen, enough. If you have a problem with Ryan, say it to me. He has a girlfriend. Stop making stuff up. It's not fair to him."

She grabbed her jacket and walked out.

I stood there for a long time, my hand still frozen where hers had been.

***

Natalie came home at two in the morning, smelling like alcohol.

I kept my eyes closed and pretended to be asleep.

She climbed into bed as quietly as she could.

After a while, she slid into my arms.

I closed my eyes.

Only one face appeared.

Ryan's.

Mine was gone.

She pulled my hand around her waist, her breath warm against my ear.

I'd known her for twenty-one years.

For the first time, I wasn't anywhere in her heart.

I gently moved my hand away.

She mumbled, "Don't."

When her breathing evened out, I turned over and faced the other way.

Just before dawn, I got up, packed a small suitcase, and moved into the guest room.

At breakfast, Natalie noticed my slippers outside the door.

"Why'd you sleep in there?"

"Couldn't sleep. Didn't want to keep you up."

She hummed and went back to her phone.

She didn't ask anything else.

Three days after I moved into the guest room, my medical report came back.

There was a growth in my stomach.

The doctor wanted more tests.

I tucked the report into my journal and wrote one line on a blank page.

[When I needed her most, there was no room left for me in her heart.]

I went to Natalie's office.

Downstairs, Ryan was opening the passenger door for her.

She ducked her head and got in.

She used to sit there only when I drove.

Before Ryan got in, he raised a hand to shield her head from the doorframe.

That used to be my thing.

I told the driver, "Take me back."

The medical report pressed against my hand inside my bag.

I never called out to stop them.

***

Natalie came home that evening.

I was waiting in the living room.

"I went to your office today."

She kept changing her shoes.

"Why didn't you come up?"

"If I had, what was I supposed to say?"

She looked at me, irritation creeping across her face. "What's wrong now?"

"I saw you in his passenger seat. I saw him shield your head getting into the car. Just like I used to."

She sighed. "Jake, he's my assistant. Holding the door is basic courtesy. You weren't like this before. You used to be more understanding."

"Understanding? So the things you only did with me, you can do with someone else now, and I'm not supposed to care? If I do, I'm the unreasonable one?"

She rubbed her forehead. "I'm tired. I don't want to argue."

She walked into the study and closed the door.

I used to let a lot of things slide.

Now I was just tired.