I Stopped Orbiting Her

The bouquet was gone from my hands, but the rough stems still scraped against my fingertips.

Cold, too.

Amanda didn't even look at me.

She turned and handed the bouquet to Nathan.

"Nathan, these flowers look better with you."

Nathan Gore was her older college friend. Back then, everyone called him the hottest guy on campus.

He was also the perfect future husband her family had picked for her.

Nathan took the bouquet and glanced my way, a sheepish smile tugging at his lips.

"Amanda, Ryder's not gonna mind, right? Your mom was just telling us yesterday to make things official."

His eyes stayed on me the whole time.

The challenge in his eyes was obvious.

Our old college friends had no clue. They just started cheering.

"Just date already!"

"Amanda and Nathan are literally perfect together."

"Looks like we've got another wedding coming!"

I stood there, arms still shaped around a bouquet that wasn't there anymore.

Empty.

Just like the seven years I'd wasted.

Amanda finally looked at me.

A lazy smile curved her mouth.

"He's understanding. He won't make a scene."

Understanding.

Because I was "understanding," I had to stay hidden like a dirty little secret, even as her boyfriend.

Because I was "understanding," I was supposed to smile while she gave my bouquet to another guy in front of everyone.

Grady's jaw clenched. He shot Amanda a death glare and grabbed my arm, ready to storm over.

"Amanda! What the hell? Ryder caught that bouquet! Are you—"

I stopped him and shook my head.

All these years, Grady was the only one who knew I loved Amanda.

He felt bad for me.

Thought it was unfair.

Because loving someone who didn't love you back sucked.

All the times I almost took her hand but chickened out.

All the words I almost said but swallowed back.

All because I was scared that once I confessed, I wouldn't even get to be her friend.

But Amanda's words—

"You've loved me for seven years. You really think you can walk away?"

—made me feel like a complete joke.

She'd known the whole time.

She just never said it, happy to watch me fall deeper and deeper while I struggled.

The amusement in her eyes deepened.

She leaned in and murmured by my ear.

"Quit pouting. Come over tonight. I picked up a few new bottles. You're good at mixing drinks, aren't you? Make me a few."

The way she talked to me made my skin crawl.

I looked up and met her eyes.

Her cold eyes were full of amusement now.

"Amanda, we've been over for a while."

Her smile froze.

Then her face went cold.

"Ryder, the hard-to-get thing was cute once. Don't push it. Be good, okay?"

I held her stare.

The girl who'd stolen my breath seven years ago was gone.

I had nothing else to say.

So I turned and walked out of the ballroom.

Behind me, Nathan tried to smooth things over. Amanda let out an annoyed scoff.

And for the first time, my heart felt quiet.

Turns out, admitting I didn't love her anymore wasn't that hard.