I Took Away Her Chance at Survival

My friend stares at me in disbelief when I walk away from the kidney transplant. "You love Sienna. You're her only donor match. Why would you back out now?" "Because of a glass of water," I say, my voice steady. Sienna is a clean freak. She never shares anything with me. If I so much as take a sip from a glass, she refuses to touch it. Then I see a video on her male student's social media. In it, he holds out a half-empty drink right to her lips. She takes a sip right from the drink he's holding. Though she frowns slightly, a smile still lingers on her lips. "It's so sweet. You're going to ruin your teeth." I sit in the dark living room that night, watching those few seconds on repeat. When Sienna wakes up, I pour a glass of water, take a sip right in front of her, and hand it over. "Drink it." She stares at me like I've lost my mind. "Kayden, I don't drink after other people." Seven years of marriage, and to her, I am just "other people". I pull my thoughts back to the room and sign the withdrawal form, relinquishing the surgery. Outside the window, the summer sun shines bright while the cicadas buzz. I am done clinging to Sienna and done caring about that glass of water.