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ホーム / I Won't Forgive You, So Stop Waiting / 2

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作者: Cervidcall
The next morning I left for work at the healing house.

On the way I ran into Lorenzo's mother, Martha Blackwood.

"Chloe."

I stopped.

"Come to the house for dinner tonight."

I was quiet for a second.

"Martha, I'm sorry. I have plans tonight."

Martha's smile cooled.

"You and Lorenzo had a spat yesterday, didn't you?"

"Couples argue, that's normal, but as the future Luna you can't be so petty about it.

"Lorenzo is the Alpha of this pack. The fact that he's willing to back down at all and give you an opening is rare enough."

I looked up at Martha, and her expression was cut from exactly the same cloth as Lorenzo's the day before.

"Martha, the mating ceremony between Lorenzo and me is canceled.

"There's nothing between us anymore."

Martha's face tightened with impatience.

"Lorenzo already told me. He's just making you reflect a little. Don't blow it up into something it isn't.

"He's the heir to the Moonlight Pack. Do you know how many she-wolves have their eyes on him? Standing at his side is a privilege most of them can only dream of."

She paused.

"Anna will be there tonight too. Take a page out of her book. Learn to listen, learn to behave."

Listen.

Behave.

Martha was exactly like Lorenzo.

What they wanted was someone who would never say no and would obey them absolutely.

I was supposed to nod. I was supposed to smile.

I was supposed to swallow every unfair thing whole.

I met Martha's gaze.

"I'm not coming."

Then I walked on past her and left her standing behind me.

I hadn't been at the healing house long, and I was in the herb room working on a new formula.

My assistant, Fiona Hale, knocked and leaned halfway into the room, looking uneasy.

"Chloe, the Alpha is here. He's waiting in your office."

I didn't look up.

"Got it."

I finished grinding the batch I had measured out, sealed it into a glass vial and labeled it, and only then did I go out.

The first thing I saw was Lorenzo sitting in my chair, his face dark.

Anna was sitting on his lap, paging through my notes.

When I came in, she got off his lap with a great show of embarrassment.

"Chloe, you're here."

"I was just looking at your formula. It's so clever. You really are the most gifted herbalist in the pack."

Her fingertip came to rest on one sheet.

That was the work I had been preparing for the Imperial Herbalist Competition.

It was a formula for treating rare cases of wolfsbane poisoning.

Lorenzo had once told me that a childhood friend had died of wolfsbane poisoning.

He'd been able to do nothing but watch his best friend die in front of him.

I had spent three solid months on it and used up more than a hundred batches of ingredients.

At last, the formula was complete.

Lorenzo knew that I treated every formula I wrote like my own life.

And yet today he had brought Anna into my office without permission and let her leaf through my formulas as if they meant nothing.

"What is this supposed to be?" I asked Lorenzo.

Lorenzo looked up at me.

"Anna wants to learn how to prepare herbal remedies, so I brought her by to look."

"And she had to come into my office for that?"

Anna's eyes reddened instantly. Her lashes trembled as she apologized in a small, soft voice, "I'm sorry, Chloe. I didn't know you didn't want me here."

"You aren't welcome here."

Lorenzo frowned at me.

"Chloe, don't take it out on Anna. She hasn't done anything."

I stayed where I was without saying a word.

Lorenzo studied my expression. After a few seconds of silence, he sighed. "All right. The truth is I came to bring you home for dinner."

The way he did it, you'd think I was the difficult, unreasonable one.

"I'm not going."

Lorenzo looked at me for a few seconds, then laughed. "Chloe, don't push your luck just because I love you."

Then he turned to Anna. "You like that formula? Take it."

I stared at Lorenzo, not believing what I'd heard.

Anna pulled her hand back with a great show of reluctance. "That doesn't seem right. Chloe worked so hard on this."

Lorenzo let out a short, scornful laugh. "It's fine. Consider it paid for.

"After all, I paid for the ingredients in Chloe's herb room, her lab equipment, even her competition entry fee. Which of those didn't come out of my pocket?"
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  • I Won't Forgive You, So Stop Waiting   10

    Everything I heard after that came from Fiona.She said Lorenzo had stepped down from his duties as Alpha.Martha had fallen ill. After she recovered, she reportedly became a recluse and was never seen in public again.I kept working on a new formula and gave a noncommittal, "Mm.""Get me three grams of dragonvine powder."Fiona stood there without moving, resting her chin in one hand as she watched me."You really don't care anymore?""I don't."She handed over what I'd asked for and winked at me."What about Soren, then?"My hand paused."Soren brought another book today.""Other men bring flowers when they're trying to win someone over. Soren brings books. Where does he even find so many obscure titles?""And of course you love them!"I looked up at the stack of books piled on the windowsill.Soren had given me every one.He never overstepped.He always appeared, polite and unobtrusive, whenever I had more work than I could manage.He would help look after my mother too.But he neve

  • I Won't Forgive You, So Stop Waiting   9

    I hadn't wanted to go to the Moonlight Pack's Moon Festival.But Soren said the Moonlight Pack was the guild's biggest buyer that quarter and had asked me to attend as a representative of the guild.He knew what I was worried about."You can leave whenever you want."I nodded.I had just arrived at the pack when I heard people talking quietly beside me."The Alpha has been in bad shape lately. He's made several bad calls.""Anna was thrown out too, and he didn't show her any mercy.""He did all that just to spite Chloe. Where was this remorse then? Serves him right."Lorenzo was standing directly in front of the altar. He had lost a lot of weight, and the black ceremonial robe hung loose on him.When he saw me, his eyes visibly brightened.He was about to come over when Martha reached me first.She looked haggard and ill at ease."Chloe."I gave her a nod."Mrs. Blackwood."The formality startled her."Chloe, I was in the wrong before. I spoke too harshly."But Lorenzo really does love

  • I Won't Forgive You, So Stop Waiting   8

    After the competition, I formally joined the Imperial Herbalists Guild.I moved my mother into the clinic attached to the guild as well.Lorenzo's messages never stopped."The flowers you planted in the yard bloomed today. I found someone to look after them.""The forecast says it'll rain across the Empire today. Remember an umbrella.""That old bookshop you used to go to has reopened."I didn't answer a single one.Each message slid down the screen, only to be pushed up by the next.Later he handed most of the pack's affairs to his Beta and started waiting for me outside the guild.People coming and going did double takes, but he didn't care.One night I worked on a formula until very late, and when I left he was still standing there.I came down the steps and Lorenzo moved forward to meet me.He was carrying a food box and spoke with a clumsy eagerness to please. "You skipped another meal, didn't you? Your stomach can't handle that. I waited in line for the meat pies from your favori

  • I Won't Forgive You, So Stop Waiting   7

    It was Soren who brought me the news that my place in the Imperial Herbalist Competition had been restored."The Moonlight Pack withdrew its objection. Your formula took first place, hands down."My father says your formula will be displayed in the Herbalists Guild exhibition hall."On the day of the awards, the guild would like you to speak as a representative. Will you come?"I didn't know what to do with myself."Can I?""You can."Soren looked at me with complete sincerity.My nose suddenly stung with the threat of tears.It had been a long, long time since anyone had told me, "You can."Whatever I did, Lorenzo's first response was always, "You can't."One of my formulas might sell for a high price.Lorenzo would still say it was only because people respected him.Soren noticed my reaction and gave me a friendly hug."Chloe, trust yourself. You're the most gifted herbalist I've ever met."On the day of the awards, my mother was in better spirits too.I pushed her wheelchair and too

  • I Won't Forgive You, So Stop Waiting   6

    Lorenzo first came to see us on the evening of the third day.I knew that if he wanted to, he could always find out where I'd taken my mother.I was giving my mother her medicine when he appeared in the doorway carrying a bag."I bought these on the south side. They're honey candies, the kind Marlene likes."My mother, Marlene Bennett, had indeed once loved them.But after she was diagnosed with high blood sugar three years ago, she gave them up.The label was from the old shop that made my mother's favorites.Lorenzo must have driven halfway across the city for them."She can't have those. Too much sugar."Lorenzo's hand stopped in midair, still holding the bag out."I didn't know...""Mm."Of course he didn't know.The last time he had seen my mother was when he had her admitted.All he knew was how much her illness had cost him over the years.He knew nothing else about her at all.Lorenzo looked at me, pleading. "Chloe, this place isn't good enough. Let me arrange something better

  • I Won't Forgive You, So Stop Waiting   5

    The words had barely left my mouth when Lorenzo froze where he stood.The color drained from his face fast enough to see, and panic swept into his expression."Chloe..."He took a step forward and lifted a hand as if to reach for me.But I only took a step back, then turned and left.That night I took my mother out of the Moonlight Pack.Being an herbalist, I had contacts at a lot of clinics.I moved my mother into a more affordable clinic.Conditions there were far worse.My mother didn't ask me why we were moving.She never asked much.But I could feel how unsettled she was. She woke several times that night, and all I could do was hold her hand and ask her to hold on a little longer.That evening the communication crystal lit up several times, all of them from Lorenzo, and I ignored every one.The next day I gathered up every formula I had and handed them to Fiona.I told her that as long as the price was reasonable, she should sell them for me as fast as she could.The wolfsbane fo

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