BREAK THE HALO.
(Simon’s POV) The atmosphere became uncomfortable. Forcing smiles was unbearable at times. I went to the back of the church, free from their religious eyes. I exhaled slowly taking in the night breeze. Then I heard footsteps, neither heavy, nor light. Maybe a child wondered away from the courtyard. I turned to find the child, but my heart jumped. He was there, taking in the moonlight. Forgive me father, but damn he was sexy. His sleeves were rolled up, revealing his tattoos, his hair was messy, and he stood there as though he owned the place. “Bless you,” I said forcing a smile. He smirked and lifted his cigarette. I swallowed hard. He’s presence was intimidating. I tried to leave but he grabbed my hands and dragged me back. I turned and our noses were inches away. “Bless you too,” he said with sarcasm lacing his tone. I tried wiggling my wrist out of his grip. “Didn’t think they’d let the miracle boy, out of their sight.” I smiled, wanting to speak but he cut me off. “Could you not give me that creepy smile?, it looks painful” he hissed. “What?” I asked shocked. “You look like a walking corpse. You can fool the Entire Edevane, but I see through your act.” He replied. “Don’t you get tired of it? Tired of all these lies? The miracle boy, the blessings, bowing, all these acting.” He finally said. “I’m not acting” I whispered. “You know they’d sacrifice you if they thought it’ll get them on the boat of salvation” his tone was firm. He saw me. For the first time, someone genuinely saw me. I could let anyone see me in such a position with him. I tried to pull myself out of his grip, but he tightened it. “Aw baby, why are you shaking? I’ve barely touched you” he burst out laughing. His laugh sent vibrations to my Dick. My face turned tomato red, and he knew it. He stared deep in my eyes like he was looking for something. There was a flicker of emotion in his eyes, but he masked it quickly and grinned widely. “Has anyone ever told you how beautiful your eyes are?” He asked, tilting his head. “Wha-“ I couldn’t even continue. I couldn’t let him get into my head. Before I could react, he closed the gap between us and bite my ear lobe. It was soft, sending goosebumps throughout my body. Anymore closeness and he’d feel how hard I was. I pulled out of his grip and walked out. I’d be dead if Father cadwell sees me. “Simon” his voice thundered. Spoke too soon. “Good evening father,” Arson said smiling like a maniac. He was torturing me. He knew how much Father cadwell disliked him. “Don’t be too harsh on him, Father. He was showing me around, " he said, moving his eyes to mine. He was baiting me. “You and him?” Father cadwell asked. His gaze flickered from Arson to mine. “He was lost, I was only directing him back to the courtyard,” I lied. “Yes, father, don’t be too harsh on the golden child, " he said in a mockery-laced tone. Father Cadwell's hands pressed on my shoulders. I almost flinched. “Come with me, now!” he replied. “Aren’t you going to pray for me, Father?” Arson said he was annoying him intentionally. “Your presence here means a lot to your father, Don’t push it, boy.” He spoke. He pulled me up. I risked one more glance at Arson and he was staring, as if he knew I'd turn. I turned to leave with Father cadwell. Father Cadwell tightened on my shoulder as he pulled me inside the rectory. When we got to his room, he pulled me in. The soft click of the lock makes my stomach twist. “Kneel, boy,” he commanded with a low yet intimidating voice. I went down on my knees, like a lamb waiting to be sacrificed. Goosebumps spread throughout my body as my knee made contact with the cold floor. “You and him? Away from the church? And you look me in the eyes to lie? In front of that filth? Do I look stupid boy?” he said as his fingers worked their way inside my hair, tugging it back till our eyes met. His eyes held so many emotions. It was unreadable. Anger, pain, and something I couldn't figure out. “No Father.” I managed. He scoffed. “Do you think I don't know what that boy wants?” he asked his voice becoming raspy. He walked round where I stood, then he leaned in till he was breathing on my neck. “I know all that happens under my roof, child.” I swallowed, my gulp was visible which was the only clarification he needed. His fingers worked their way back to my hair, keeping me in place. “I was only showing him his way.” I lied “Liar” he hissed. His thumb pressed my cheekbone till it hurt. Every time he comes back from these so-called business meetings, he is always on Edge. “He’s unholy, he’s dirty, and you must be kept pure.” He said forcing our eyes to meet. The tip of his thumb brushed my lips. He let my hair go, stumbling back as tho he was tipsy. “Take off your clothes” I did as instructed, no questioning. The first whip struck me hard forcing me to bite my lips. The dry leather belt landed again on my back, this time with more force. Two more whips and then he spoke “ You’re pure, because of me. Do you know what happens when you let temptation take over? You become basked in sin.” He spoke. He turned to drink from his glass, then he turned back to me. “ I see how your hungry eyes stray away during hymns just to steal glances from that lowlife. All for selfish gains” he looked irritated. Another whip, followed by multiple whips. “You would beg for forgiveness after you have confessed your sins.” “Yes Father” my voice came out as a whisper. “Leave.”ARSONSIMONShortly after, we both parted ways. If we were seen together, things could get worse. I waited at the back of the church till service was over. I went straight to my room, ignoring the parishioners. Father cadwell won’t attempt to hit me, not when we have a guest over. I stayed in my room the entire day after the service. The walls were not comforting, Atleast they were mine. There was no father John to taunt me, and there was no one to look at me with that knowing gaze.I curled myself up in my bed, my eyes lingered longer than usual on the Celling till it became blurry. The faint sound of children laughing outside, the faded echoes of footsteps, bells chiming. Each time I closed my eyes, I was there again. standing helplessly, his hands gripping the back of my neck, his breath fanning my cheeks as he whispered. “You were born in sin Simon, but I will cleanse you of that sin.” I turned my face burying it into the pillow, trying to shake of the memory.A soft knock on
PANIC SIMON The morning sun was harsh, flashing directly into my eyes. I squinted my eyes as I got up. It was Sunday, a day I would have looked forward to, if he weren’t around. The air smelled different since he arrived. The incense smelled the same, and the choir hymns sounded the same, but something was different. It was him. His presence was like incense, curling into every corner of the room, suffocating me even when he wasn’t there. I walked to the mirror, staring at my reflection. I told myself I wouldn’t let this bother me. The boy he had once cornered was the person I had grown to be. Even tho I wasn’t raised with love, I wasn’t going to let his Presence get to me. I repeated it continuously. I hurriedly freshened up and went down for service. Everybody was present including him. My body betrayed me the moment I saw him. I straightened my collar, forcing my trembling hands to be still.“Are you okay?” One of the altar boys whispered. “You look pale” “I am fine.” I forc
HIDDEN SHADOWS SIMON The air in the rectory was thick. I woke up to the scraping of chairs, and the sisters shouting commands. Maybe something was happening. I freshened up and hurried downstairs to help. The air shifted the moment I walked down. The sisters whispered amongst themselves, wringing their hands and darting their eyes to the heavy doors, which made me know this was more than just a guest. Father Cadwell stood straight, his face tighter than usual. He didn't even acknowledge my presence. I walked away, helping the sisters to sweep the church. I was sweeping the chapel when the heavy door opened, letting in a gush of wind and a voice I dreaded to hear. My heart sank the moment he walked in. “Simon” his voice was deep and smooth. “You’ve grown,” he smirked. The broom slipped out of my hands, and my chest tightened. My heart was beating so violently that I felt the whole cathedral could hear it. I felt bile rising to my throat, and I tried to maintain my usual face.
THE FIRST PRAYER OF HAPPINESS. SIMON I coudn’’t sleep. Not because of fear, but because every time I closed my eyes I was standing there again, his face so close to my eyes that I could feel his breath. I stared at the ceiling, watching as the burning incense smoke covered the air. For once my thoughts were not heavy. They were not about the parish, or the weight that comes with being the miracle boy, or about Father Cadwell and his whips. But about him. Arson grey. Even his name felt dangerous on my tongue. It echoed like a forbidden hymn, yet it was all I could think about. The way he smiled after I gave in, like I handed him the stars. The way he said I love you, like it was the easiest truth. The way he kissed me! God I almost didn’t want to let go.I smiled so much, that my cheeks ached. I pressed my face into the pillow even though no one could see me. I touched my lips, feeling the tingly sensation from the kiss. The way he kissed me. It wasn’t gentle, it made me feel
FORBIDDEN PSALMSARSON The night lost its colour the moment Simon walked back into the rectory. I stood there like an idiot, watching his back fade away. His Scent also faded, except for the ones that clung to my skin. I felt empty. Like he took something away from me, maybe he actually did. I sat under the tree, watching the stars. Maybe he might come back again. But I was wrong. Simon wasn't as reckless as I was. He knew better than anyone to push his luck twice. I turned away, walking back home. God, I was pathetic. For the first time in years, I didn't feel like the Rebellious Arson Grey, the boy who always made headlines in Edavanes’ newspaper. I felt weak. I didn't even know when I admitted that I loved him out loud. But he hadn't said it back. He had kissed me, yes. But he hadn't said it back. Maybe I had ruined it again, maybe I was too hasty. His expression was serious at first, but it softened lightly when I continued. I don’t know what he did, or what he said in h
A KISS IN THE CHAPEL SIMONI shouldn't have come outside. When I heard the sound at my window, my heart raced. I knew who it was without looking. Only one person would be so reckless as to do that. Only one person could come to find me.I didn’t want to open it. I didn’t know how to face him. I wanted to forget about him and his promises. But somehow, my hands found my coat and my trembling legs took me outside. I stared at him, and he looked at me as though I were a miracle. He closed the space between us, giving me a hug that I didn’t realize I needed. “I shouldn’t be here” my tone was flat. I needed it to be. It was the only shield. If I allow myself one minute of softness, I would break. “You’re avoiding my eyes” he muttered. “ I have to” I responded. “You don’t.” He said. I scoffed. “Do you think I can just walk into your arms anytime without consequences?” I said raising my brows. I looked around to see if anyone was looking.“If he found out, or even suspects this, do