*Meri* "It's okay Luca ... I am sure she didn't mean it ... she is just scared and upset right now". I try padding his back, looking helplessly at Tom. Luca had shown up, telling us that Lumi kind of broke up with him and now he's crying out his eyes rolled up on the couch. "She thinks she is protecting you". Tom tries, but nothing seems to make him cry any less. I shake my head. I feel really sorry for him ... and honestly I want to grab Lumi and shake her, what the hell is she thinking ? "I just thought ...". Luca tries to speak between sobs. "She had just stopped pushing me away. I thought she got that she can trust me, that she knew that I am not running away". Sitting down on the edge of the couch I rub his back. "She has a very hard time trusting that anyone could want her, give her time, she will come around if you keep showing her". He nods sitting up and I hand him some paper towel to dry off his eyes and nose. "Yeah, I have to show her ... make her see without a doubt
*Luca* After talking things through, Meri and Tom decide to go out for dinner. I think they want to talk through what this procedure will mean for Meri. And it gives me and Lumi a bit of alone time too. I have noticed that Lumi seems a lot quieter than usual, and I sit down on the edge of her bed. "Soo ... are you feeling okay about this ?". "No, I am scared shitless.. I am afraid to get my hopes up for no reason. What if it doesn't help, what if it has no effect at all ?" She says, shaking her head. "I get that you are scared ... it's totally understandable baby". I put my arm around her and she leans on my shoulder. "But as far as I understood the doctor, this can only make it better". She sighs. "Yeah, if the chemo and radiation don't kill me before we get there". "You are strong, baby, you can do it ... we can do it". I tell her. Honestly I am as scared as she is, but I need not to show it, to support her and to be her rock. "I'll go bald and you will find me ugly and unat
2 weeks later *Meri* I am sitting in Tom's office, working on a paper for school. Tom is out walking Nani and I try getting work done, ignoring the flashing numbers telling me that someone is trying to get my attention on messenger. Lumi has started on the hard treatment to break down her own bone marrow and her immune defences, making her ready to receive mine and tomorrow I am starting on the medicine that will send it into my blood. My father is on his way, and should arrive later today. I am looking very much forward to seeing him again. And for him to meet Tom. Me and Tom have been doing good, there has only been a few little comments showing hints of jealousy since that incident. All of them over me still having Daniel on messenger. I have explained that I don't like making a scene, as I have classes with the guy. I rather just ignore his unwanted comments, and keep to being friendly and talking school stuff on my part. Also I still don't know if he is just very friendly a
*Lumi* "Iskä !" I hold out my arms as I see my father walk through the door. I have always been a daddy's girl. "Kultsi". He booms, walking briskly over to my bed hugging me in that way that makes me feel like a little girl again. "How are you feeling ?" I snuggle into his strong embrace. "I am okay daddy, everything considered. But I am really happy to see you". "I am sorry I couldn't be here earlier Kultsi, but you know how work is". He says, smiling warmly at me. "So mom is telling me that you found yourself a good man ?" I feel my cheeks flushing slightly. My father's approval means everything to me. "I did iskä. He is the best ... in many ways he reminds me of you". "I am looking forward to meeting him, Kultsi, if he can tame my little lynx he has to be some kind of man". He grins at me, making me blush even more. "Daddy !" I giggle. I know Luca is very nervous about meeting him and I hope my father is going to behave. "I am not that bad". He chuckles. "You are strong an
1 week later *Meri* "Meri … Meri, stop for a moment, I just want to talk". Fuck it's Daniel calling my name, and I have nowhere to escape. I blocked him after the day I broke up with Tom. He has tried talking to me a couple of times since, but I managed to avoid him. "What is it Daniel ?" I stop and turn to face him, when I realise that I can't get away. He smiles at me like we are best friends. "How is your sister doing ? Ready for her transplant ?" Turns out his mom is a nurse at the hospital, that is how he keeps himself updated. "It's going fine, thanks … and talking of my sister, I have to go visit her". "It's such a great thing you are doing, giving her your marrow, you are a wonderful person". He reaches out to caress my arm and I back off. "Not really, she is my sister, my twin, everyone would have done the same". I am backing away slowly. I feel cornered and just insecure. He just follows me, a smile on his face. "So you dumped that old fart I hear. Was it because
*Luca* Honestly I am holding my breath waiting for her to say something. Maybe I shouldn't have, maybe it's too much. I just ... well I saw the ring in a window and thought that it was exactly the kind of ring Lumi would love. Suddenly it hit me that she could actually die. I might never get a chance to buy a ring like that, to propose to her, to call her mine. I had found myself standing in the middle of the street crying, making people look at me like I was some kind of freak. And I went right inside and bought it, wondering how to give it to her. And thinking about it I realised how crushed I would be if I never got the chance to tell her. To prove that I am serious and in this for the long run. And I decided to put my heart and soul out there. No matter what she says, I have made my intentions and feelings clear. But now after asking I realised that a rejection might crush me as well, and part of me regret asking. "Lumi ? Baby say something". "You ... Did you just propose to
3 days later *Meri* I am on my way to my parents rental car in the underground parking lot at the hospital. My father told me I could take it as I need to get home and finish some homework before school tomorrow. It will be my last day for at least a week, the day after tomorrow we are starting the transfusion, so I am turning in some extra assignments. My parents wanted to stay with Lumi a little longer, as she is very weak now and scared. Luca is with her too, actually he is almost all of the time. He is only leaving when the hospital staff kicks him out. What he did, proposing to her like that, it's the most romantic thing ever and I truly pray they will get their happily ever after. I hate these places, too much darkness, too many corners and too much dust. Didn't I hear a sound ? No, probably it's just my imagination. Then my phone starts buzzing and I jump like half a meter. "Fuck !" Pulling out the phone I see that it is Tom calling. It is the first time he has contacted
*Luca* I run out into the hospital waiting room. Tom texted me to come out there right away, that it was very important. I look up at the tv screen, some accident, car smashed and burned with the driver inside. Tom comes walking in, white as a sheet, his eyes wild looking. "Luca please tell me Meri is in there, that she came back". "Uh no ... she left about an hour ago". He closes his eyes. "Tom ! What is wrong Tom". "I was talking to her ... she was driving". The tears has started streaming down his face. "There was a loud noise and she screamed, saying that someone bumped her car from behind. Then another sound and the line went dead". He points to the tv screen. "Please tell me that it's not her car". I look at the screen again. Fuck ! Oh no. I swallow. "I ... it could be ... maybe it's not, it could be someone else". "She can't be dead Luca ... oh God ... what if it's her ?" He looks so scared and desperate and I pull him in for a hug. "I am sure she is okay Tom". My voice