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If I Knew I Loved You
If I Knew I Loved You
Author: Peary Peary

Chapter 1

Author: Peary Peary
Belinda Green, Caleb Reed's mother, looked extremely helpless.

"Many years ago, I asked a fortune teller to do a reading for Caleb. If he gets together with Julie, it would lead to disaster. He would lose everything.

"You've been secretly in love with Caleb for so many years. It just so happens that you're fated to bring success to your husband.

"I knew you could ensure a smooth sailing life for Caleb. That's why I decided to tempt you with paying off your father's medical fees to force you into marrying Caleb. I never imagined that he would be so opposed to you, and outsiders would end up misunderstanding you."

"All these years, it's been difficult on you. Since Caleb's fated to suffer, we should let him be." Belinda nodded.

I got up, intending to return to my room. Then, my phone buzzed nonstop. Julie Upton had sent me a barrage of messages.

I tapped into her messages and was greeted with one shocking photo after another.

The usual aloof and reserved Caleb seemed to be in a daze. His eyes seemed to be full of devotion as he kissed the top of Julie's foot.

On our wedding night, Caleb showed me the rosary beads on his wrist and explained that he had renounced all earthly desires. His detached behavior back then was nothing like his expression in the pictures.

Julie was practically gloating through the screen.

"Natasha, so what if you had Caleb all these years? The only woman in his heart has always been me. If I wave my hand, he'll come back to me."

My disappointment toward Caleb had reached its peak on the day of Dad's funeral. Right now, I was numb to Julie's gloating.

I took a deep breath and typed calmly. "Tell me. Who would show off stealing someone else's husband?"

She never responded again.

Julie was probably curled up in Caleb's arms, sobbing while complaining about how arrogant I was. After all, she was excellent at sowing discord and twisting the truth.

I stared at Dad's urn and reminded myself not to make the same mistake. Dad's last words kept ringing in my ears.

"Natasha, I was the one who dragged you down. Once I'm gone, you should live the life you've always wanted."

I dug my nails into my palms. Back then, I was desperate to gather funds for Dad's medical bills. I had given up the chance to study abroad and chose to marry Caleb.

Now, I was no longer bound to Caleb. I gave a call to my advisor, feeling terribly nervous.

"I happen to have a project. You're the best candidate." The adviser did not ask why I had changed my mind and chose to assign me the project right away.

Within the next second, someone suddenly kicked open the door. Caleb and Julie had arrived to settle the score with me.

Although Caleb looked furious, he held back his temper and said, "Apologize to Julie."

She stood behind him, sobbing her heart out. But I noticed the menacing glint in her eyes.

"I just feel that she shouldn't ruin someone else's relationship just because she wasn't loved. But she called me a homewrecker for stealing someone's husband. Caleb, was I really wrong?"

Julie's tears fell onto Caleb's rosary beads on his wrist. His expression grew more pained.

"Natasha! If you hadn't colluded with my mom and forced me to marry you, we wouldn't have ended up this way.

"This is all on you. You should suffer the consequences. Apologize to Julie, and I'll forgive you for being rude."

Caleb sounded condescending. It was as if he had given me the greatest gift on Earth.

He wanted me to apologize to Julie, his mistress. It was ridiculous yet amusing that something like this had happened to me.

I stared calmly at Caleb and said, "Since you love her so much, let's file for a divorce."

Caleb was taken aback. He stood rooted to the same spot and stared at me in a daze.

"Aren't you deeply in love with Julie? I don't mind getting a divorce so you two can be together. Are you satisfied with this arrangement?"

Joy was written all over Julie's face. She held onto Caleb's arm and cheered. "This is amazing, Caleb! Now, we can—"

"Are you trying to play hard to get now?" Caleb snapped at me, cutting Julie off. His gaze wavered, and he finally said, "You want others to call Julie a homewrecker? What would others think of her?"

Caleb seemed to have found a proper excuse to justify himself and said again, "I'll never divorce you. I want you to suffer the consequences and be in pain forever."

Upon hearing the words "I'll never divorce you", Julie's smile froze. She looked extremely paranoid as hatred flashed across her face.

Without giving me a chance to answer, Caleb grabbed Julie's hand and quickly left, leaving me behind in a mess.
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  • If I Knew I Loved You   Chapter 9

    I wanted Caleb to suffer the way I did when he was being intimate with Julie. I begged Frederick to put on a show with me and act out everything I went through over the past five years. I wanted Caleb to experience the same neglect and disdain I once did. I wanted him to see me choose Frederick over him. I held Frederick's hands and hugged him while Caleb followed behind us, holding my bag. While Frederick and I chatted and laughed cheerfully at the dining table, Caleb would be cooking in the kitchen.I even let Frederick carry me into the bedroom. We lay on the bed close to each other as we talked softly. Caleb would be crouching on the floor outside the bedroom, cleaning the specks of dirt between the tiles. Every day, I watched Caleb. I noticed how he would clench his fists, and the veins bulged on his hands. Then, he would take a deep breath to calm down.I watched him curl in a corner and cry in silence. I noticed him struggling in misery before hopelessness overwhelmed

  • If I Knew I Loved You   Chapter 8

    I didn't even have to look back. I knew it was Caleb. I stood at the same spot and did not move. Frederick realized I wasn't pleased, so he instinctively stood in front of me. "Natasha, who is he?" Caleb's voice trembled slightly. He wanted to reach out and grab my wrist, but Frederick held him back tightly. Caleb couldn't even move. "Natasha!" Caleb yelled again. "I know you still hate me, but I know better now. It's all my fault. I ended things with Julie that day. "I wanted to seek you out immediately, but that crazy Julie refused to let me go. Not only did she leak the video of me breaking up with her, but she even made a report to the regulatory authorities about our company's internal accounts."I already heard about all that from Mary. The company was in a mess for days, leaving the employees feeling uneasy. Many employees asked to resign, and business partners canceled collaborations to avoid any risk.The company's market value dropped drastically. Caleb had worked t

  • If I Knew I Loved You   Chapter 7

    By the time I arrived, it was already evening. I immediately noticed Frederick Locke in the crowd. He flashed me a bright smile and exclaimed, "Natasha! Long time no see."Frederick was my junior in college. We participated in many competitions together and often took first place with our abilities and teamwork. As we worked together more often, we eventually grew closer. Frederick even chose to confess his feelings for me on the day of my graduation. It was a shame that Caleb was the only man I had eyes for back then. I chose to reject Frederick without hesitation. After that, Frederick and I never saw each other again.From time to time, I heard my friends mention that Frederick had gotten into his dream school to further his study. Now, he was working in an industry he loved. Sometimes, whenever I watched Frederick earnestly live his life and achieve his dreams, I felt the dark clouds in my life fade away.It was our first time meeting in five years. Yet it felt like a life

  • If I Knew I Loved You   Chapter 6

    "You said that I'm the one you love the most. But half of your properties are under Natasha's name. Caleb, do you love me or the version of you who's madly in love with me?" Caleb subconsciously clenched his fists as he met Julie's reddened eyes. Any comforting words he wanted to say seemed to be stuck in his throat. "For the sake of your dignity, you'd never make the first move to divorce Natasha. I had no choice but to come up with a plan. I had to create some kind of conflict so you two would never reconcile."The best plan I could come up with was to provoke Mr. King so his condition would worsen and hide the news of his death from you."Julie's smile turned twisted. "That way, you can only belong to me."She grabbed Caleb's wrist hard enough to leave marks on his skin. "Finally, you and Natasha are getting divorced. Caleb, when shall we have our wedding?" At that moment, Caleb saw how far gone Julie really was. He finally knew that the version of her right now was her tru

  • If I Knew I Loved You   Chapter 5

    After hearing Belinda's explanation, Caleb widened his eyes in horror. His face instantly turned pale. "Mom, what did you just say? Are you saying that David's ashes were in the urn? That's impossible! He was clearly still alive. Julie?"Caleb turned to Julie and looked at her pleadingly. "You received a phone call about David that night. He was doing fine, right?"Julie, who always had been rather talkative, chose to be silent. Caleb turned paler than ever at her silence. He turned to me, and his voice trembled as he said, "Natasha, I didn't do it on purpose…"I responded by slapping Caleb as hard as I could, causing him to fall to the floor. The broken pieces of the urn cut into his palm, causing him to bleed. Caleb sat on the floor while staring at me blankly. He finally understood why I acted so differently for the past few days. I wasn't kidding when I asked for a divorce. I crouched on the floor as I scooped up Dad's ashes. Without a word, I left the house. The sea

  • If I Knew I Loved You   Chapter 4

    I decided to bring Dad's urn with me to the Reed family's dinner. It had been seven days since he passed away. I decided to scatter his ashes into the sea once the dinner was over. After his death, Dad's soul could freely explore the world and go wherever he liked. But I never expected Julie to show up as well. She and Caleb sat next to each other at the table. Neither of them even bothered to look up at me. I set the urn on the table, causing Caleb's expression to twist with displeasure. But it was Julie who spoke first. "Natasha, why'd you bring that urn? Are you trying to make everyone here uncomfortable?"Mrs. Reed has always been good to you. But look at what you've done. You purposely brought the urn to make all of us uneasy."Caleb scowled too. "Natasha, throw that thing away. I'll pretend I never saw it."I smirked mockingly. "Sorry. Can't do that."Caleb raised his voice. "What's wrong with you lately? If you continue being so arrogant, I'll really divorce you!"Cal

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