Abandoned me

I told them that I would be in school. But to be honest, I have no strength to see my mother getting married to an innocent man who didn't do anything wrong to deserve a woman like my mother. It pains me. It hurts when I think I am letting an innocent person get tricked by my mother. Somehow, I am hating this modern technology. If there had no way to change one's appearance, maybe my mother would give up on holding her youth and enjoy the process of being older.

But I can't do anything. My heart can bleed but I don't want to get involved with my Mom's personal life.

Shall I meet Dad? I called one of his friends, he said he doesn't live far away from our city. It will be better to spend a day with him, rather than suffering on my own.

As planned, I took the subway to get there. Thanks to my student I'd, I can go anywhere free by train. I feel so tired as well. My feet are hurting. Last night's trauma hasn't washed away from my mind but I feel relaxed just thinking about my Dad

Will he be happy if I meet him? No, will he recognize me if I call him? I hope he does. I resemble him, after all.

The train took one hour to reach the station. Passing by the beautiful nature, I didn't feel bored. It was like an adventure since I never went anywhere all alone. And for the past twelve years, I didn't move anywhere from this city.

Anyway, I turn on the location on my phone and start following it. From the subway, the town isn't far, so, I take a bus to reach there.

I walk, not knowing where I actually am heading. Which one is my Dad's house? Where should I find Dad? I don't know. Dad never called me all of those years. Probably angry because I didn't choose him. I will apologize once I meet him.

However, I feel my body shrink as I forgot to have my lunch. I should have eaten before leaving. But I wasn't hungry after having breakfast with my mom's husband.

Well, Did they get married? It's past 4 pm. They might have. They won't care if I am not there. It's their lives and I don't want to be any nuisance. As long as I can see my Dad today.

Hungrily, I sit on the bench in the park. The kids are starting to gather around. Parents are here together, playing with them. What a beautiful scene! I wish I could be back to the past and enjoy my parents being together and happy.

But, soon, my eyes meet the soccer ball. It rolled over here and stopped right in front of me. I look up when I notice the pair of small legs standing in front of me.

A boy, probably eight to nine years old, has big doe eyes, slightly brown hair, and eyes are ocean blue with a dark black dot in them. His appearance somehow matches mine. But my eyes are brown, like Mom's.

I hold the ball and look at the boy who isn't saying anything. Probably staring at me with the same admiration that I felt right now. He looks close to me. As like I know him.

“ Here is your ball! Play carefully!" just said smiling brightly at the boy. He is cute. To be honest.

However, my smile disappears when I notice someone behind the kid, staring at me with frowning eyebrows. My heart feels stuffed with happiness. I stood up and almost called him “ Dad!"

“ Liam! Go to play! Don't talk to strangers!"

Strangers? Did... Did he call me a stranger?

My lips start quivering as my heart felt the stabbing pain in it. I look up, with blurry vision, the tears are fighting with my mind to shed. However, I didn't want to cry. I wanna just... Just hug him once and call him, Dad

” D...Dad! It's... It's me, Leona. Leona Belle!"

I raised my hand to hold him. I want to cry on his shoulder and complain about all of my pain. I wanna scream and say that I missed him every single day. But I am feeling suffocating. He isn't looking at me.

Why? Are you angry? I am sorry. I am sorry for choosing Mom. I didn't know that you were the innocent lovely father, not Mom. I am sorry. So I beg you. Look at me.

“ Dad!"

“ Shush!!"

My entire body felt the vibration when Dad gripped my wrist and shushed me. Before I could understand anything, he started pulling me behind the tree and yanked my hand like he disgusts me

“ D-Dad!" I called again.

” Why are you here?" He grunts. Why is he looking at me like this?

“ I -I missed you!" I said. I want to hug him so much.

“ Leona! You should understand that I don't want you to come here that's why I didn't contact you!"

“ What? Dad said I can come whenever I -"

“ Don't call me Dad!"

“ What do you mean?"

My heart is hurting. Am I having nightmares?

” Look! You are grown up now. I think you can understand. I know you are a good girl. But Leona! Here the thing is that... My wife doesn't know that I have a daughter, OKAY? Also, I don't want to pull my past into my present and make it a mess. I just want to close it. Did you understand right?"

” You mean you don't want me -"

“ Yes. I don't want you to appear in front of me even if I die right in front of you. I don't want to recall that darkest past of my life!"

“ Darkest past? Including me as well, Right Dad!?"

” No. It's not -"

“ OK! Your son looks like me. He is adorable. I wish you the best of luck with your new life. I am sorry. I just thought why not meet someone important character in my life? Well, seems like we are strangers now!"

” Leona! Please!"

” I got it. Thank you! Dad! ... Ah! I shouldn't call you that. I am sorry. I crossed my line!"

” Honey! We need to leave. Is everything going okay here?"

I look at the woman. Beautiful and neat. She looks gorgeous when she wraps her arm around my Dad's shoulder. I could see the trouble on my Dad's face. I become a trouble for him. That's heartbreaking.

” Hello! I am lost in this city. This is my first time coming here. So this uncle helped me." I lied. It's better to let go. Now I don't have anyone neither have any worries to get

” Oh! Is everything okay, now?"

She is lovely. Maybe she makes my father happier than my Mom did. I feel peace now.

“ Yes. I will head back home! Thank you again"

I walk away, watching them being so unbothered and lively. If Dad is happy without me and his past. I should let him. It's good. Everyone is happy now. Everyone deserves happiness.

Ahh! I should be happy then why?

My heart is aching really bad. As if it wants to explode. Lord! It hurts so much. ” Mom!"

The pain suddenly spread all over my chest and my left arm. Everything is getting darker and more painful. Am I going to die? Will the pain Stop if I just die? I am not wanted anymore. So I don't have any meaning to stay alive.

I don't know what's going on, I feel the pain lumping inside my throat, and my chest gets heavier with the difficulty to breathe.

” Hey! Kid. Are you okay? Hey!"

.........

” You are not scaring me, right?" I said as it is really unbelievable to hear.

” No. I wish I could!" The doctor in front of me sighs deeply. The deep expression on his face is evident in the truth.

” So, How long? I don't even have any difficulty like symptoms! You know I am an athlete. I can run faster, I can swim, I can jump around and I love dancing, you know. I am not sick. You got the wrong report!"

I said laughing. It's Impossible. An utterly impossible thing. Never ever I have felt like this.

“ Probably you didn't actually notice, Ms. Belle. And I suggest you not to run, hold anything heavy, and of course, don't dance anymore!"

” ENOUGH! Please! I beg you. You don't know how much I am already heartbroken! Fuck. Just lie. Lie to me. Tell me that I am healthy and happy. I am fine. Just lie, please!"

” You should inform your parents!" The doctor smiles at me pitifully. What the fuck are you to feel pity for me? I am not sick. I am fine. I am healthy. Yeah, I am...

“ I don't have parents!" I said with a blank face.

“ Please! It's not a matter of jokes!"

“ Do you think I am joking? Also, I am eighteen now. I can take my own decisions. So I don't want anyone to know about me!"

” Ms. Belle! It's not time to be -”

“ If you do anything against my will. I will sue you and then kill myself and leave a note blaming you for my suicide!"

The doctor pinches the bridge of his nose frustratedly. That's great. You should be aware of my craziness.

”Fine. Then, I suggest you visit me every month. I will prescribe medication for an entire month. So you better take care of yourself. After one month you must visit me or I will visit your parents!"

He is stubborn as fuck. Jeez.

“ OK. But letting you know once again, I don't have parents. So, don't need to break a sweat! Anyway, I need to leave now!" I stand up to leave but the doctor stops me again. This doctor is almost 45-50 years old but nosy. Tsk!!!

“ Hey! It's already night! Stay here. Leave tomorrow!" he suggested.

” I have a part-time job tomorrow morning. And kindly remind you, I have no money to spend in the hospital. Thank you."

“ I will pay for you!"

“ I am not going to be in some debt. Thank you, Doctor Uncle! Have a nice day!"

Life is playing with me. Why should I stop? Let's play. Let's see how long the heart clock keeps clicking. Tik...Tok...Tik...Tok.

Hehe! It's fun. Even life is going to abandon me soon. My Mom, My Dad, to them, I am nothing but the darkest past. It's better now. Not to be someone's headache anymore.