Share
19. Confess Your Hidden Feelings
"Can you turn around and walk like a normal person?” I ask my good but spontaneous friend Nicki. I don’t know what makes her think walking backwards in a crowded hallway is a wise idea.
It’s not.
She ignores my suggestion and swirls the brush in her hand on the pallet she’s carrying. “Were there any hot guys there?”
“I was busy crapping myself over Math, does it seem like my eyes had the chance to slut around?” I deadpan.
She points at me with the brush, and I watch in horror as blue paint splatters over my white shirt. “You, my dear friend, are no fun,” she declares.
“What the fuck, Nicole?” I wail, looking down at my shirt.
No.
Please no.
It has blue dots all over it, and a particularly large misshapen one right on my chest.
Her eyes widen in realization of what
Kaugnay na kabanata
Knowing Jude 20. Testosterone-Driven Creatures
“Scoot, the rest of us want to sit too.”I look at Nicki but keep my mouth shut. Nothing is going to ruin my mood today, as I’m having the time of my week.The past week has been extremely boring, with no excitement to speak of in my life. It has gone back to its old routine of school and three friends and nosy siblings, two of them who are not talking to each other. I think very soon I might be saying four friends, because in the course of the past week Simon has been dragging Isaac with him everywhere. Not complaining or anything, he’s pretty cool and there’s a lot of space for improvement in my friendship department. Cole has been saying hi every time we cross paths, but I’m not going to put him on my possible friend list…yet. I still haven’t been able to gather up enough courage to ask him why Jude hasn’t been to school for seven days now, so I think I’m still a l
Knowing Jude 21. Much More Interesting than Math
Blue House wins. Right now the entire place is full of celebratory blues, while the other students quietly file out of the gate towards the tuition area. Nicki has crossed over to the other side of me, and is now jumping with Simon, screaming a cheer song at the top of their lungs. Those two would be perfect together. The award ceremony is over, and there’s nothing else to watch or do, plus we have been allowed to leave school early today. I poke Nicki in her side. “I want to go,” I tell her, but I don’t think she hears me, so I scream, “I WANT TO GO!” It’s not much of a scream in the midst of the loud diss song the blue crowd is directing towards the Red house who have come second. The Reds who trailed us by a mere four points are not taking any of it lightly. These kids are crazy, and the faster I get out of here, the better. “WAIT!” she screams back. I sigh. This is her type of thing, so I decide not to be a party pooper and leave. “I’LL JUST GO, SEE YOU TOMORROW!” “COOL, OKA
Knowing Jude 22. Not Alone
“John?”That’s what Jude exclaims when we run into my dad in the living room, on our way to the kitchen where mum ought to be.My eyes widen as I look between the two, but mostly at Jude, to make sure he hasn’t grown a second head. It’s not everyday I hear someone call my dad so casually by his first name, and most absolutely not anybody my age.All I see on Jude’s face is an expression of surprise, as if he hadn’t expected to see my dad here, so I look back at my dad.He doesn’t look pissed that some teenage boy is being disrespectful towards him. Instead, he steps forward, a grin and a frown both on his face at the same time. He slaps Jude on the shoulder, in a friendly manner, twice.Like two old friends.“Jude! What a surprise, boy. I haven’t seen you in forever.”
Knowing Jude 23. Oh, So That's Her
I admit, the first thought to cross my mind is to leave.Then Jax lets out a broken sob and my heart squeezes behind my ribs.I imagine Angeline hovering somewhere around, watching us. It’s something I do a lot, and I know it might sound stupid or creepy but I can’t seem to be able to control it. I have always been paranoid, so I always imagine she’s in my room, or in class where we would sit together, and half of the time I would almost believe that she’s going to show up.It sounds messed up, and I’m sure if Dad knew the sort of thoughts I have he would most probably make me have sessions with one of his colleagues or something like that.I can’t push the thoughts out though, because every time I think of her it always ends up in the lines of what if she’s here? What would she do? What would she say? What did she use to do, say, et cetera?
Knowing Jude 24. Ditched
"Sam! Sammy! Samuel! Get back here you little..."I stand in the front doorway for a second, surprised as to why Nicki's loud voice is booming throughout my house, and what exactly is going on between her and my brother. I knew she was going to show up with Simon, but I didn't think they were going to show up this early.I take off my shoes and walk into the living room.Nicki and Sam are going circles around one of the couches, with Nicki trying to get hold of him. Paces away another little boy is sitting, quiet but with a grin on his face as he watches the two."Hi, Liam," I call out, waving and smiling at him.He waves back, a shy smile on his face. He is usually quiet when in people's company, but you wouldn't recognise him when he is with Sam. He might be sitting there right now all innocent and silent, but wait until Sam gets tired of bothering Nicki and they get together.I probably shouldn't refer to them as a duo from hell sin
Knowing Jude 25. I Want More
In gaining one friend – Isaac, regaining another one, - Jax, I have also sort of… Well, definitely lost one.Three weeks later, I still have no idea what happened.I have a feeling Jax breaking up with her has something to do with it, because she doesn’t talk to him either. He also told me she didn’t take the break up well.Does she think I had something to do with it? That maybe I asked him to stop things with her? I might have not approved, but that wasn’t my call to make.I would like to talk to her, but she doesn’t hang out around me anymore, and she went ahead to switch her sitting position in English class. I have had a lot of time to assess the status of my friendships, and I think it’s a bit worrying that Nicki is the only girl left in my life I can call a friend. I talk to Lilian regularly, but she’s my sister and I might be chea
Knowing Jude 26. Need to Be Needed
I should apologise.I've been telling that to myself since I left the supermarket, all through preparing dinner, through dinner, and now that I'm in my room about to sleep, it's the same song.He was right, I was being too nosy. If he had been rude, then I had been rudely nosy. Who was I anyway, to say the two hadn't deserved his rudeness? It might have seemed odd to me for someone to behave that way towards a parent, but then again Mr. Walker hadn't been exactly warm towards his son. Maybe that's how they dealt with each other, no love lost, and there I was, being the nosy know-it-all.Me, 11.32pm: Hey.That's how long it takes me to gather courage to type out that single word. Two long hours. Knowing Jude, he is still awake.And still mad?My phone buzzes a minute later, and I check the text, heart in mouth.Jude, 11.34pm: Hey. Jo? It's Cole.Oh. I feel myself deflate. Why is Cole texting back on Jude's phone? D
Knowing Jude 27. A House is Not a Home
In the evening I lag behind Isaac, Simon, and Nicki towards Isaac’s car in the school parking lot. For once in very many weeks I’m going to spend time somewhere that’s not school or home. It’s encouraging, and I’m excited about it, even though I’m busy trying to downplay the excitement.It’s not like my parents have restricted me from going anywhere else. It’s entirely my fault that I never go anywhere.I had a little issue about hanging out at Isaac’s because of Mrs. Rutherford, but Isaac assured us she won’t be around, and even if she would have been, that she wasn’t scary at all. I just felt a little odd hanging out at a teacher’s house. Maybe if she wasn’t my teacher I wouldn’t mind.“I really love your hair,” Nicki is telling Isaac up ahead, running her fingers through his dark soft curls. She’s in a m
Pinakabagong kabanata
