Chapter four

Mental cases like mine are called hemophobia. In other words, I'm afraid of the color red, or I have a phobia of blood. When I was sixteen years old, I witnessed my parents divorce and I also witnessed my mother commit suicide. I was just a high school student at the time, and we had just finished our class when I went home. When I opened the door, it was very dark in the living room, in the kitchen and everywhere I looked. I see nothing but darkness. I walk slowly while resting my hand on the wall and repeatedly call my parents. Until I opened the door of a room, and then I turned on the light switch, there I found my mother lying on the floor as she bathed in her own blood. Since then, the sight of blood has become my weakness and every time I see it I remember what I saw that day, my mother's appearance that night comes back to me. Every time that happens I find it hard to breathe, I panic and I hear horrible voices around me, so they think I'm going crazy. My father also found out about my phobia. That's why he locked me in the mental hospital because my phobia got worse when I was inside that house, I only remembered her more. In that mental hospital, I met Gael, where he became my nurse, and he also always brought me my medicine. He is a cheerful person and often tells me about what is happening in his life even though I don't care about him and I just stand quietly near the window. But also because of him, why I forgot about my weakness. We became friends until I slowly realized that I liked him, that I loved him more than just being friends. Unexpectedly, he also has a secret love for me. Because of that love, I learned to change, and I found a rope that I can cling to so that I don't fall into a deep abyss. I forgot everything about me, including my only weakness. He is the one who healed my wounds from my past, and he is also the one who allowed me to escape from my chaotic world. He held my hand tightly until we reached the church and we both got married even though many people stood in the way of the two of us. Even my father was against our relationship, but I also held his hand tightly as he saved me from that darkness and therefore, our love for each other became stronger. Apart from my father and Gael, no one else knew about my weakness. That's why I have no one else to call but him. Gael arrived a little later and found us sitting on the sofa while Kaye's injured hand was covered with a handkerchief.

“I'm really sorry because I didn't know you had a phobia of blood.” She whispered to me and in a voice that she felt sorry for me. But I couldn't look at her, and I was just silently looking at the floor while my hands were still shaking from fear. Until I heard Gael's voice, and he urgently sat next to me.

“What happened? Are you hurt?” Worriedly, he asked me and I slowly looked up at him while I pointed at Kaye, and he turned in her direction.

“It wasn't me who was hurt, but her.” I weakly responded to him. He looked down at Kaye's hand, where he noticed the blood stain on the handkerchief covering her hand. I heard him take a deep breath, and then he turned to look at me again and hugged me.

“Everything is fine, I'm already here. Don't worry, I'll treat your friend.” When I heard his voice, I closed my eyes and then let out a relaxed breath where my hands stopped shaking and the fear that had been bothering my chest disappeared. He stood for a while, and then he handed me a glass of water, which I also immediately drank. While I was calming myself down, he headed in Kaye's direction with a medical kit, and then he knelt in front of her, which surprised her, but for me, it was nothing because I know my husband is a doctor, and he has no other intentions but to treat the wound she received. I couldn't look at the two of them, so I just stood up and went to the kitchen to get some more water. I can hear Kaye screaming in pain, that's why I feel like I'm in pain too. My hand trembled again, but I just folded it to stop it and I drank water again then I closed my eyes, and then I took three deep breaths. I felt a little better, so I thought of going back to the living room, thinking that he might have finished treating her. But as I stepped closer to them, I noticed that Gael was blowing her palm and there seemed to be something different in Kaye's gaze towards him. I was stunned and suddenly, my heart beat got faster with nervousness. Unexpectedly, I let go of the glass I was holding, causing it to break, and I caught the attention of both of them.

“What are you two doing?” at that time, I suddenly felt dizzy as if my vision were spinning until I just fell on the floor and lost consciousness. The last thing I remember is Gael standing up and repeatedly calling me by my name with a worried look on his face. When I woke up, I found myself lying in our room. I immediately got up when I noticed that my husband was not by my side. I left that room with a headache. Furthermore, I was walking barefoot while I was looking for my husband. He was not there in his office and the lights in the living room were off. Where is he? I just thought about going down the stairs and heading to the kitchen, just in case I see him there, but I didn't find anyone there.

“Did he leave? Did he go back to the hospital? But why didn't he even leave me a message?” I whispered to myself. I was about to go back to the room to find my phone and to contact him, but unexpectedly I suddenly heard whispering voices from the gallery room, where I often spend my spare time for painting. Furthermore, I slowly walked towards it with a trace of curiosity on my face. It was dark there, so I couldn't see much. I noticed the door was slightly open, and I thought maybe he was there. I opened the door and went inside, at the same time I turned on the light switch, which lit up the inside. I turned my back and looked around me, but unexpectedly I discovered a such scenes.

“What are you two doing here and why are you two together?” my voice trembled with the mixed emotions I was feeling at this time. I clenched my fist as I looked at their faces, but they couldn't look directly at me, and they were unable to respond to me either. I looked at them from head to toe and noticed Gael's neck tie on the floor and Kaye's hair ponytail. Furthermore, I don't want to think anything about the two of them, but it appears that there is no other reason for me to fool myself with the fact that they are both doing something while my back is turned.