CH.5

Daisy

"What? A week? Why is it so close? Impossible! You will not go!" Her voice finally returns and it rises with each word until she's nearly shouting.

She turns her fury toward my grandfather. "And you! You've come to agree with your granddaughter and hide secrets from me? How could you? She didn't tell me she wanted to leave in a week!"

"I only found out today, Grandma," I try to explain, my own voice rising to match hers. "I came straight from the announcement to tell—"

"Not a word!" She slams her palm against the table which makes the plates jump. "If I say you will not go, you will not go! This discussion is over!"

"Dear, it's her dream," my grandfather interjects softly before reaching across to place his hand over hers. His touch seems to calm her slightly but the fire in her eyes doesn't diminish. "Please don't act like this. We've discussed this possibility for months now. You knew this might happen."

"Even your daughter had dreams," my grandmother snaps before jerking her hand away from his. Her voice breaks on the last word, and I see tears gathering in her eyes. "And where is she now? Have you forgotten so quickly?"

Her words hit me like a physical blow that steals the air from my lungs.

What does my mother have to do with this? The mention of her is so unexpected that for a moment that I can only stare at my grandmother in confusion.

"Grandma, what are you talking about? What does my mother have to do with any of this?" I find my voice again. "You're mixing things up! I'm not going to kill myself. I just want to study! You're ruining my dream!"

The words leave my mouth and I instantly regret them.

Tears well in my grandmother's eyes and spill down her cheeks. They carve shiny paths through the fine powder she wears to hide the dark circles of exhaustion.

Guilt immediately washes over me and douses my anger like cold water.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"

"Okay, Daisy, go to your room." My grandfather's voice cuts through my apology.

He stands and moves to my grandmother's side before placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I'll talk to your grandmother. We agreed, dear, remember? Let's talk this through like we promised."

My grandmother bursts into full-blown sobs. Her shoulders shake with the force of her grief.

It's so unexpected and so raw that I can't bear to watch. This isn't just anger or fear. This is something deeper. This is something I don't fully understand.

"I'm sorry," I whisper again though I'm not sure either of them hears me over my grandmother's crying.

I flee to my room and throw myself on the bed and bury my face in my pillow. The thin walls do little to muffle the sound of my grandmother's continued sobs and my grandfather's soothing voice trying to calm her.

I can't make out the words, but the tone tells me this is more than just an argument about my education.

'What did my mother do that makes Grandma so afraid of me leaving home?' I ask Aru after rolling onto my back to stare at the ceiling.

The water stain in the corner has grown since last summer. It is spreading like a dark cloud.

'Maybe she thinks something bad will happen to you if you go. Like what happened to your mother when she left home,' Aru suggests.

Her presence in my mind is warm and comforting.

'But my mother died in a car accident.... I think.'

The details have always been fuzzy which is partly because I was so young when it happened and partly because my grandparents rarely speak about it.

'I just hope Grandfather can convince her. We can't miss this opportunity, Daisy. Not just for us but for them too.'

I sigh and let my eyes drift closed when exhaustion pulls me under.

The last thing I hear before sleep claims me is my grandfather's voice. He is still speaking softly to my grandmother downstairs, patient and unwavering in his support of my dreams.

The week passes in a blur of preparations and tense conversations.

My grandmother alternates between tearful pleas for me to reconsider and stony silences that stretch for hours.

My grandfather acts as mediator, translator, and peacekeeper who somehow manages to keep our small family from fracturing completely under the strain.

On my last night at home, I find my grandmother sitting alone on our tiny back porch, staring up at the stars.

I quietly sit beside her on the weathered steps with our shoulders just barely touching.

"The stars look different at Lunar Crest Academy," she admits after a long silence. Her voice is soft and resigned. "That's what your mother used to say in her letters."

I turn to her in surprise. "Mom went to Lunar Crest?"

She nods but keeps looking upward. "For a semester. That's where she met your father."

"You never told me that." A thousand questions flood my mind but I hold them back in fear of breaking this rare moment of openness.

"There's a lot I haven't told you." She finally looks at me. "Maybe that was wrong of me."

"Why did she leave after only a semester?"

My grandmother's gaze returns to the sky. "That's a story for another time. But Daisy..." She takes my hand in hers with a strong grip. "Promise me you'll be careful. Promise me you'll remember who you are and where you come from."

"I promise, Grandma." I squeeze her hand back.

I sense that there's more she isn't saying but I know better than to push.

"And call us. Every day."

"I will."

We sit in silence after that and simply watch the stars until the chill drives us back inside. It's not perfect understanding, but it's a start.

One week after receiving the news passes and I stand at the threshold of our small house with my packed bag at my feet. The morning sun casts long shadows across our yard and a light breeze carries the scent of my grandmother's herb garden.

My grandmother's eyes are red and puffy from days of crying, but my grandfather finally convinced her to let me go. Though it was not without some serious arguments that I could hear through my bedroom wall each night.

"Grandma..." I begin, but she cuts me off by pulling me into a fierce hug. Her body shakes with fresh sobs.

Her arms wrap around me so tightly I can barely breathe. It's as if she's trying to physically prevent me from leaving.

"Take care of yourself, my dear," she whispers fiercely into my hair. "Eat well, and I'll send you money whenever I can. Don't skip meals just because you're busy studying. And keep your room clean. Dirty environments attract negative energies."

I smile against her shoulder at her familiar superstitions. "I will, Grandma."

"You must call me every day," she continues with a tight grip, "and when you can't, call your grandfather's phone. If anything feels wrong I want you to come straight home. Anything at all! Promise me, Daisy."

"I promise, Grandma." I squeeze her back just as tightly while breathing in her familiar scent of herbs and baking bread so that I could commit it to memory. "Enough crying, I'll be fine. I'm stronger than I look, remember?"

"Okay... okay." She pulls back reluctantly, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. Her eyes search my face in an attempt to memorize it just as I've memorized her scent. "I trust that. You've always been strong, just like your mother."

The comparison startles me because she rarely mentions any similarities between my mother and me