Chapter 2

Zander didn’t come home last night, but that’s not surprising. He hasn’t been home most nights in months, too busy running after her to remember he’s married to someone else.  Sure enough, my phone lights up with a notification of a post Mariah made on social media.  It’s a picture of Zander sound asleep in her bed under the covers, with the caption, ‘So blessed to be loved by a doting man.  I was injured at work, and he came to take care of me.’ The comments were blowing up.  I muted the notification, not wanting to see it.

 I remember when Zander would insist on having me rest when I came home with a headache.  Now he couldn't care less when he’s told I fainted at work and was sent to the hospital.  I get up and dress for the day, sliding the divorce papers and copies of everything they said I needed into an envelope to bring to the court.  The sooner I file, the sooner I’m free from this nightmare of a marriage.

               I’m eating breakfast when the front door opens and in walks Zander, pulling a suitcase behind him.  I was about to ask what’s going on when my heart dropped.  Mariah came in on crutches.  He helps her to the couch and comes into the kitchen.  “Mariah broke her ankle and can’t be on her feet for a few weeks.  She can’t take care of herself, so she’s going to be staying here while she recovers,” Zander announces.

               “Of course.  She needs support and assistance from her friends.  I understand,” I reply.  “Anything she needs.” I keep my voice sweet, masking the infuriation building in my chest.

“That’s it? No complaints or questions?” Zander asks, confused.

               “Why would I complain? It’s clear how helpless she is right now,” I answer, and I see a flash of something cross Mariah’s face for a split second. 

“Zander, the doctor said I have to elevate my leg. Can you help me with that?” Mariah pouted, and he rushed over to assist her. Putting a throw pillow under her cast and adjusting it around her before handing her the remote.  “You're such a sweetheart.  I’m feeling peckish, perhaps I could get something to eat?”

“Sara, can you please make one of your omelets for Mariah?” Zander requests as I finish washing my dishes.

“I will tomorrow, promise.  But I have a meeting to get to this morning, and I can’t be late.  After all, I just got a promotion, remember?” I grab my briefcase and car keys from the counter before walking to the door.  “Perhaps we should hire a nurse to assist Mariah while we are both at work.  Wouldn’t want to leave someone so helpless alone for too long.”

“I’m sure I can manage for a few hours,” Mariah replies.  I can see the challenge written on her face, and I wonder how much she’s faking to get his attention.

       “If you insist, I was just thinking about you and your care,” I reply before walking out the door.  I want to scream in frustration but maintain my composure. Four more weeks, and I’ll be done.  I can walk away from this life without a second thought.  As I start my engine, I touch my stomach.  “Hang in there for four more weeks, little one.  I promise you’ll never know what it’s like to come second in someone’s life.”

I drive to the courthouse and turn in the paperwork. The clerk double-checks that everything is in order and explains that it will take four to six weeks to process.  If any party changes their minds, they must come to the court within three weeks to stop the motion.  I thank the clerk and leave feeling like a weight has been lifted.  I need to get my things in order in the next month.  I stop at a storage company and buy a storage locker and moving boxes.  I can begin packing and moving my belongings out of that house over the next four weeks. I don’t want to tell my parents anything just yet, so bringing things to their house isn’t an option until the four weeks are up.

I return home expecting to find Mariah still on my couch, but I am relieved to find no one home.  I bring my boxes inside, putting them in my closet for the time being, but take one to begin packing my family heirlooms.  Things he won’t even notice missing.  

With one box full, I return downstairs and look through the fridge and pantry, making a list of food we need.  With a third mouth to feed, I may as well stock up, not to mention my need to eat more for the baby.  With a list in hand, I leave.  I hate taking time off from work, but I need to get my affairs in order.  My first stop is the bank to separate my money from Zander’s.  I open a separate account and transfer any money I’ve deposited into the account over the past six months.  I could take it all, but I don’t want his money.  All I’ve ever wanted from Zander was his unwavering love, and I couldn’t get it.  I’m going to leave with the same things I entered this marriage with: my own belongings and my own money.  Granted, this child will be a consolation prize if I manage to carry to full term.  We talked about trying for a baby three years ago, but as soon as she reentered the picture, everything changed. 

As soon as I finished at the bank, I went to the grocery store.  Beck at home, I begin bringing in groceries.  When I’m on my last trip, Zander pulls up with Mariah in the car.  He helps her out, almost knocking me over in the process.  Thankfully, I caught the car with my hand before I fell to the ground.  He didn’t even look at me to check if I was okay, he just followed her into the house, fussing over her comfort the whole way.  I grab the final items from my car and carry them inside. 

Zander is propping pillows around Mariah’s leg again as I set the groceries on the counter.  “Sara, can you make Mariah a sandwich?” Zander requests without even looking at me.  “How’s this? Are you comfortable?  I’ll grab you a water,” he tells Mariah before coming into the kitchen, where I’m still putting groceries away.  “Didn’t you hear me?  Why are you not making a sandwich yet?”

“You asked me to do it three seconds ago.  I need to finish putting the groceries away, then I will happily make her a sandwich for you,” I answer, keeping my voice dripping with sweetness.

“Good.  Thank you for being so accommodating,” Zander nods before returning to Mariah with the glass of water.

I finish with the groceries, then begin to make the whore a sandwich.  She’s sitting on the couch so smugly watching television, while I make her food.  I should make her wear the sandwich, but I know how that will go.  He’s already smacked my face once last week for refusing to be nice to her.  He warned me that my jealousy was going to cause unnecessary problems.  I bring her a sandwich and offer to refill her water, all while Zander watches me from the table in the dining room.

“Yes, please.  Thank you so much, Mrs. Ward,” Mariah replies.  She says my title as if it’s a vile word.  I ignore it and refill her glass.  She takes it, and as soon as I turn around, she dumps it on herself.  “Clumsy me,” she smirks as Zander comes rushing over with a towel, shoving me out of the way in the process. 

I return to the kitchen to make myself something to eat when a message on my phone catches my attention.  It’s from an unsaved number.  ‘Back in town for a week, come see me.  Our usual spot.’  I look through my messages and see a message from my mom ‘Jake’s going to be in town this week, he’s asking to see you.’  Great, that’s all I need.  Add fuel to this already blazing fire.  My big brother comes and goes in and out of our lives like the wind. 

I click on the unsaved number and send a reply, ‘Give me an hour.’

‘No problem, I’ll be waiting.’ I finish making my sandwich and sit down to eat before I need to meet Jake at the pier.  I can only imagine what he wants, but family is family. 

As soon as I finish eating, I wash my dishes and grab my keys.  “Where are you going?” Zander snaps, causing me to pause in my tracks.

“My mom asked me to stop by today.  She hasn’t been feeling well, so I was going to grab her soup and visit with her,” I lie.  It’s scary how easy it’s becoming for me to lie.

“Don’t be too long, I promised Mariah, you’d make her your grandmother’s lasagna,” Zander stated. 

“I will go back to the store to get the ingredients,” I remark.  “I should be home around five.  Plenty of time to cook.”

“Good,” Zander turns his attention back to Mariah, let’s get you changed out of these wet clothes.  Mariah catches my eye over his shoulder and smirks at me before going back to the fake stop fussing over me act, she’s doing for him.

I roll my eyes and head out.  I have no plans to return before dinner time.  I’m not going to cater to her or watch him act like she’s made of glass because her ankle is broken.  Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s faking that too.  I get in my car and drive to the pier, where I see my brother standing, waiting for me.  He’s tall, muscular, with tattoo sleeves on each arm, his hair hangs in black waves to his shoulders.  Jake greets me with a hug, “How are things, little sis?” 

“Fine,” I lie, but I know Jake’s temper, and I can’t allow him to go crazy.

“I spoke with Mom.  She mentioned that you want to stay at the house for a bit in a month.  So, let’s try this again.  How are things, little sis?” Jake stated, looking at me pointedly.  I try to look away, but I know better.  Jake has always been able to see through my masks.  “Is it work? Zander?”  He’s looking at me intently with every question.  “What’s going on?  Did he do something?”

“I can take care of myself, Jake.  Please, let me handle things the way I want.” I reply.

He takes a deep breath.  “Tell me what’s going on, and how you are handling everything.”

“I filed for divorce this morning.  It’ll take four to six weeks to process, but if he or I tell the courts we’ve changed our minds in the next three weeks, it’ll stop, and we’ll have to go to court,” I explain.  “He signed the papers but wasn’t looking at them or listening to a word I said.  Now his whore… Sorry, his childhood friend broke her ankle and can’t care for herself, so she needs to stay with us while she recovers.”

“How long?”  Jake asked.  “How long has this been going on for?”

“Two years, just about.  It began to escalate three months ago,” I admitted.

“Escalate how?”

“Jake, I need to do this my way.  Please, there is more at stake than you realize.  I need a clean break; otherwise, I’ll never be free.” I state, my hand instinctively going to my stomach.

“He doesn’t know?” Jake asks, looking at my stomach, then my face.

“I just found out yesterday.  I’m begging you, stay out of it.”

“Has he hurt you physically?”

“No,” I lie, and I know he can tell.

“Have it your way, but if you need anything, you know how to get a hold of me,” Jake stresses, pulling me in for a hug.  “Mom wants you home for dinner.”

“I can’t tonight.  If I have to face them, I’ll cave, and you know Dad.  Please, Jake, don’t tell anyone.”

“You’ll tell them on your own terms,” he nods.  “Promise you’ll call me if you need help with anything.”

“I promise.” He pulls me in for another hug, and I finally break down in tears that I’ve been holding in for weeks now.  When I finally stop crying, I wipe my face and force a laugh.  “It’s good to see you again.  I’ve missed you.”

“It’s good to be back.” 

We spend the next few hours just relaxing, watching the tide go out.  I tell him about work and about my promotion.  Everything not related to my relationship, and it feels good to just have someone who will listen to me.  I’ve forgotten how good it is to be seen and heard.  We make plans to meet up again later this week, before parting ways.  I stop by a restaurant and bring home take out knowing I don’t have time to cook dinner.  When I arrive, Zander and Mariah are gone.  My phone buzzes with a notification. Mariah posted another picture to her social media.  ‘I told him I’m craving sushi, so he brought me out to the hottest sushi bar in the city.  #blessed. #lovedtopieces.’  I put my phone down and let out a scream.  I don’t even follow her on social media; it’s him I follow, and she always tags him.  The nerve of this bitch.

I unlock my screen and send a message to Jake, ‘I want him to regret choosing her over me.’

In less than two seconds, Jake’s reply came through: ‘Is this you asking me for help?’

‘Yes,’ I reply.

‘Ask and you shall receive.  Your knight will pick you up bright and early for work.’  He answers.  ‘Dress appropriately for a bike.’  Great, whoever he’s sending is going to show up on a motorcycle.  I don’t even want to know.  I shut my phone off and sit down at the table to eat dinner alone, again, some more. 

I go to bed before Mariah and Zander even return.  I’m woken up by Zander pulling my pants off.  “Zander, I’m trying to sleep,” I protest.

“Why won’t you let me touch you anymore?”

“Because I know what you’ve been doing with Mariah.  She posts about it all the time,” I answer.

“Will you stop with this fucking jealous act?  You are my wife, Sara.  Mariah is just a childhood friend I’m helping out.  Nothing is going on between us,” He snaps.  “Stop this nonsense.”  He forces himself inside of me, and I try to let my mind drift away.  I used to want him to come home to me, but now, I just want him to leave me alone.  If Jake were to ever find out about this, he’d literally kill Zander.  When he’s finished, he rolls off of me, and I pray he didn’t just hurt the baby.  “I’ll take you out to dinner for the celebration of your promotion tomorrow, as promised.  Mariah just decided she wanted sushi, and I know you don’t like sushi.”

“Right,” I murmur, pulling my clothes back on before going back to sleep.  Night two of my husband raping me, and I can’t prove any of it. Four more weeks. Just hang on for four more weeks.