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Chapter 2

Author: Pomelo Luck
When it was light, Shane and Astrid were not at home.

I walked onto the balcony and looked down.

Shane and Astrid were walking back, holding Astrid's favorite gardenias.

They had gone to the morning market together again.

Last year, I made a list of one hundred little things to do as a couple.

The very first item was to visit the morning market together.

I pestered Shane countless times, saying we should go just once.

Waking up early on a Saturday, buying some fresh vegetables, and coming back to make breakfast together—just thinking about it felt quite romantic.

He didn't even look up from reading his research paper.

"I have to collect data in the morning. You like waking up at nine. Why disrupt our routines to torture each other?"

He was a person with strict principles.

Yet, during the month Astrid stayed with us, he could accompany her to the morning market every single day and buy the freshest bouquet of gardenias.

I used to think that it was because I had asked Shane to help me take extra care of Astrid, and that he was doing it because of me.

I was foolish.

They said something unknown, and Astrid suddenly playfully grabbed Shane's finger, biting lightly down on the web of his hand between his thumb and forefinger.

Shane's eyes crinkled into a smile, letting her bite.

After Astrid let go, she even kissed the exact spot she had bitten.

I couldn't help but lean over and dry heave.

For five years, Shane had never kissed me.

One night before sleeping, I secretly kissed him once.

He rushed into the bathroom, mixing disinfectant into the water to wash his face several times.

When he returned, he said he wanted to live separately from me.

"Saliva contains a lot of bacteria. Don't you know that self-righteous romance causes a lot of trouble for people?

"If you are keen on these low-class tastes, then let's live separately."

I tightly clenched my palm and couldn't resist sending Shane a message: [Are you returning to low-class tastes now?]

The phone lit up instantly.

[It's alright. What's wrong?]

I glanced downstairs. Shane clearly wasn't holding his phone.

So who replied to my message?

Suddenly, I thought of something and went into the study.

His computer screen wasn't locked, and WhatsApp was logged in.

Astrid's name was pinned to the top.

As for our conversation, he had muted it.

I stared for a long time, feeling something was wrong.

I sent him another message: [My stomach feels weird today.]

It was a near-instant reply again.

"Drink more water."

My face turned pale as I found a program set up for automatic replies on his desktop.

He had set up classifications and responses for all my messages.

For shared messages, it'll send "I am very busy. No need to tell me about these trivial matters".

For emotional messages, the response was, "don't overthink", or "rest early".

If I were sick, it would be, "Drink more hot water".

In the past, I thought he was just being dismissive toward me, but it turned out even the dismissiveness was fake.

He wasn't even willing to set a few more words to prompt the AI program.

Sounds came from the living room, signaling they were back.

Astrid naturally walked into the bathroom.

"I'm using your towel. Mine is too thin."

Shane agreed without a second thought.

"Throw it away if it's not good to use. Use mine."

His so-called boundaries and germaphobia seemed to fail entirely.

Once during a heavy rain last year, I was completely soaked. Coming home, I accidentally used his towel to dry my hair.

He snatched it away and threw it into the trash can.

"Sharing towels causes skin infections. Don't you have even this bit of common sense?"

After that, I never dared to touch his things again.

From his physical repulsion, I should have understood long ago.

I bit my lip hard. When I walked out of the study, Astrid happened to walk over.

"Mabel, are you using the computer? I just need to borrow it to look something up."

Hearing this sentence, Shane slammed his water glass heavily onto the table.

"Don't just touch my computer!

"How many times have I said it? Even in a relationship, one must have their own private space. Is this that hard to understand?"

Astrid let out a helpless sigh.

"Oh, come on, I was the one who wanted to use the computer. She was just opening it for me. Don't be so fierce to Mabel!"

Shane's attitude genuinely softened because of that single sentence.

"Fine, I'll let it slide this time for your sake."

Astrid didn't ask for the password, unlocking the computer I had just closed.

She opened the browser very naturally, even using Shane's account and his bookmarks folder.

These things were all password-protected by Shane.

Because of the privacy he spoke of, I didn't know a single one, yet Astrid knew them all.

I suddenly felt unable to breathe.

I grabbed my bag and stormed out the door.

Before the surgery, I still had to do a pre-operative checkup.

The doctor confirmed once more.

"Are you certain you don't want it? You can still change your mind."

I said I was certain.

"I won't change my mind. See you in two days."

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  • Letting You Go   Chapter 10

    His pupils contracted violently."You saw that post.""I saw it, Shane. And the program you set up for me, your chat logs—I saw all of it."His lips were trembling.He wanted to say something, but nothing came out.He lowered his head, shoving both hands into his hair and tugging at it hard."I don't know why I treated her that way or why I treated you that way. I thought I liked her, but the moment you left, I realized I didn't want to be with her at all. I thought I didn't like you, but the moment you left, I felt off."I want an answer."I want to know what exactly happened to me."I did not offer him an answer.He stood there for a brief moment before turning around to walk toward the exit. When he reached the gate, he paused, refusing to look back."Mabel, you're right. Perhaps it really is just getting used to it."He walked away, and I went back upstairs.I had no idea what conclusion he had come to, but I knew that I didn't care anymore.I closed the door, shuttin

  • Letting You Go   Chapter 9

    After they left, I returned to my apartment.Perhaps because I was too exhausted from crying, or that this past month of peaceful living had gifted me a layer of armor, I fell asleep very quickly.Until past two o'clock in the middle of the night, I was woken up by my phone ringing.It was an unknown number."Mabel."It was Shane.His voice was entirely different from how it sounded during the day.During the day, he stood in the sunlight, neatly dressed and speaking in a calm tone. He looked exactly like a decent man who had been deeply hurt by his wife's unreasonable tantrums.Right now, though, his voice was somewhat hoarse."I'm downstairs."I walked over to the window and looked down. Sure enough, a lone silhouette was standing beneath the streetlight."Fine, I'll come down."Certain matters required an absolute, thorough end."Are you living well?""That's none of your business."He nodded, as if he had long expected me to reply this way.He took a deep breath, li

  • Letting You Go   Chapter 8

    I let out a light laugh."You were terrified something would happen to me?""Since when have you ever been terrified that something would happen to me? When I had a forty-degree fever, you were working overtime in the lab. "When I walked home alone at night, you wouldn't even place a single phone call. Yet now, you are terrified something would happen to me?""That's because you never told me you needed—""I did tell you!" I practically roared out loud."I told you countless times! You said I was annoying, that I wasted your time, and that I had low-class tastes! To you, I wasn't independent or sensible, and I lacked boundaries!"My mother walked over to pull at me. "Stop shouting. In front of the neighbors, what kind of behavior is this?"I flung her hand away."Mom, you have never once stood on my side. You made me give in to my younger brother, made me stop studying to earn money early. I listened to you on absolutely everything, and what did I get in the end?!"Sometimes

  • Letting You Go   Chapter 7

    On Saturday, I was sitting and reading a book in the small garden below my apartment building.Then, I heard a familiar voice."It's here? The environment is decent enough."I lifted my head.Shane was standing at the entrance of the neighborhood, followed by two people.One was my mom, and the other was my dad.The three of them stood together like a squad that had come to capture a fugitive.Shane spotted me first. He walked over toward me at a steady pace, his face carrying a complex expression.There was relief, but it was also tinged with a touch of "why are you being so disobedient" blame."Mabel."He stood in front of me, looking down at me. "Your parents came to see you."Mom followed him over, sizing me up with a glance, her expression looking rather unpleasant."You've lost weight, and your complexion is terrible. Out here all by yourself, it'd be a wonder if you were living well."Dad trailed behind without saying a word. His expression was dark and gloomy, look

  • Letting You Go   Chapter 6

    That day, I worked overtime until nearly 9 p.m. Walking out of the company's main entrance, I spotted Astrid under the streetlight in a single glance.The streetlight stretched her shadow very long, and she just stood there, staring at me.My footsteps paused for a second before I continued walking forward."Mabel.""How did you find this place?"She let out a self-mocking laugh."It was Shane who wanted to find you. When he wants to track someone down, he always finds a way."She walked over to stand in front of me. Her face was pale, and a layer of dry skin had formed on her lips."So you flew all this way just to apologize to me?"Astrid lowered her head and lit a cigarette."I have some things I wanted to say to your face. After you hung up the phone, you never picked up again when I called."I didn't deny it.She took a deep drag, then lifted her head."Mabel, you won.""What?"The mocking smile at the corners of her lips grew wider and wider."Ever since we were k

  • Letting You Go   Chapter 5

    Before the plane took off, my phone vibrated like crazy.Shane rarely took the initiative to message me.Today, however, that silent automated script program was clearly uninstalled by its owner's own hands.The phone screen was entirely crowded with red unread notifications, all from him.[Where did you go?[What are the things you left behind? What does this mean?[Mabel, talk to me.[Whose abortion form is that? Yours?[What exactly are you making a scene about?[You weren't pregnant, right? You just did this to scare me.[Pick up the phone.]Five days ago, I would still toss and turn over a single dismissive emoji from him. Now, as he sent dozens of messages in a row, my heart remained exceptionally calm.I didn't reply to a single one, powered off my phone, and boarded.The exact moment the plane broke through the cloud layer, it was pitch black outside the window.The passenger in the neighboring seat was a middle-aged woman who struck up a conversation with me: "Tr

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