8. Peaceful slavery

“Do you prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery?” His voice husky as ever, his steps increasing thrill and trepidation in my bones.

“I prefer everything over you…” My words sounding as if I’m poised. Yes, I choose dangerous freedom because peaceful slavery for you is quite dangerous itself.

“This isn’t fair” I muttered as he pulled me closer grabbing my waist in his huge hands, his breath fell on me like snow in winter. His voice coaxing me to give in, and I whimpered from the heath I’m about to face.

“Nobody smart plays fair.” He whispered, his lips slowly growing nearer to my face. I looked away and felt him smile near my cheeks.

I saw him, he saw me, I looked away but then I looked back, and he was still looking at me. “Angel…” He whispered and I closed my eyes.

Angel? Me? Not. Me.

Letting go of the guard I had put, wanting to live for the first and the last time, he was making me want things I didn’t want, things like love.

He doesn’t love me but, I want him to touch me with love, all my dead desires came back as he licked my neck.

His grip tightened around my waist, and his hands slowly traced down, until it was on my thighs. I clenched my fists feeling the juices forming in me, his hands touched the hem of my silver shimmery dress sitting right an inch above my mid thighs.

My breath shortened and I held back every moan that wanted its way out. Before I could retort, his hands found his way in the middle of my thighs.

For the first time I wasn’t pretending to have pleasure.

“So, shall we start?” He kissed my neck, trailing down to my collarbone, he tugged his free hand in my hair, pulling them, not letting me lose focus.  

My neck arched backward; I opened my eyes quickly fearing to have flashbacks. They wanted to shut down, to dive into this deep wave of pleasure sweeping away my membranes.

He groped my boobs with his hand pinning me against the wall, still sucking on my neck. I saw him going wild unlike how contained he has always shown him.

Hungry. Ached. Desperate.

“Haah!” He broke apart trying to catch his breath but again dug his fangs inside my skin. I gasped as loud as I could, and devoured the heat he radiated. I was losing my stance, since my legs weakened and paralysis seemed like a short word, his hands quickly pulled me closer realizing I was falling.

My eyes shut down, no matter how hard I tried. “Stop…” I yelled. I couldn’t control myself, “No…” I yelled again; he didn’t stop.

“I’ll pay you!!” I exclaimed and he looked at me in shock. I don’t have that much amount of money, how am I going to pay him?

But that’s not the point, how could I lose myself like this? Why does it happen only with him?

“What?” He sounded surprised. “What nonsense…” He seemed angry; I gulped getting scared by his gaze.

The lust in his eyes vanished and a greater demon took over.

Hurt, desperate, ashamed.

Not his usual expressions.

He moved back and thumped his body on the bed, scratching his head with frustration. He let out a sigh, numerous times, calming his breath.

“Come here…” His voice was low yet commanding, and my heart was pounding like crazy. I sluggishly walked in his direction and stood before him.

He extended his arms and pulled me closer; he embraced me tightly and I flinched not expecting it. He buried his face inside my stomach and my jaw dropped in shock.

My gaze fell on his tensed shoulders as he was regaining himself with my embrace.

“Caress my head a bit, please…” His voice came out a little frantic, and didn’t seem angry at all now; he grabbed my hand putting it on his head.

I gently started stroking his hair and he sighed with comfort, “Let’s remain like this for a while…”

He pulled me even closer, my legs in between his, and he didn’t let go of me. I tried not to feel anything but my insides were shivering, I tried not to feel anything but my breathing was going erratic.

I got goosebumps all over, failing to give reasons to his actions, what am I doing? What is he doing? Why is he doing so and why am I letting him do so?

My mind went blank, more like too drained to put my thoughts down making myself numb, closing all the weird singings around me.

We stayed there, for a long time, none of us speaking, none of us thinking. Just stop… I only have a certain level of sanity, and you’re not helping me keep it.

Tears collected at the bottom of my eyelid, I don’t know what this is but it’s fucking soothing my heart, I don’t want it. I’m getting stuck inside my brain.

He finally pushed me away, running his finger through his hair, “30^th, or else I’m coming for you.” He stormed out of the room in a haste.

He was not kind anymore and I mourned the loss of his warmth on my body, I hate to admit it but,

I missed Levi.

The door slammed leaving its echo to haunt me for good five minutes and I gulped my dreads down.

Maybe he realized the weirdness of the situation, upon gaining my senses back I sat down on the ground.

“What happened? What was that?” I panted loudly pulling my hair out in nervousness.

Touch what’s mine and I’ll ruin whatever is yours!

Caress my head a bit, please.

I went back home knowing I won’t be getting any clients anymore. I could change the club I work in but a man who can buy a club like ‘Paradiso’ can have ownership of others as well.

I received a mail from Grey’s school regarding the pending payment. I sighed again and lay on the bed closing the laptop.

The moment I closed my eyes, I recalled the scenes from earlier. What is happening to me?

Caress my head a bit, please.

Let’s remain like this for a while.

His words. My thoughts.

I opened the first drawer and took my sleeping pills, gulping them down my throat. It’s easier this way. To sleep. To not think.

My life officially has no motive, in just one day I’ve lost both my jobs and have loans roving on my head.

A perfect problem to sleep with, I lay on my bed cuddling with the issues I’ve got to deal with tomorrow.

My eyes opened from a knock on the door. Apparently, the pills had done their work well, I didn’t have any nightmares or even if I did, I don’t remember having them.

I opened the door, “Again?” I sighed as I found Luther at my door, he replied with a sigh louder than mine.

“Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat is it?” I yawned loudly.

“Mr. Levi is waiting for you.” I looked around thinking he was there. After what happened last night, I’d be surprised if it were true.

“Please get ready, it’s Saturday and I believe it’s Grey’s holiday too,” He explained, how does he know? Has he himself ever gone to school?

“He’s sleeping, I’ll be back before he wakes up.” I cut him off in between.

“No problem, I’ll pick him up in my arms.” It’s gonna be a long day but considering Jamie is there, it’s gonna be fine.

I left and was offered a chair while Grey was still sleeping in his arms, like a cocoon with no worries.

“Your boss’ name is Levi, why did he introduce himself as Ford?” I asked looking at Luther.

“That’s his surname…”

“Levi Ford? Sounds about right, shit!!” I smirked insulting the bastard.

“No, Levi Rutherford.” He took all my happiness away since it sounded like a cool name, much better than ‘Grace Rue’ at least.

Luther put him to bed in a certain room and got busy with his work. I was directly escorted to Levi’s office and he entered not long after.

“Sign these papers…” He threw a bunch of files in front of me without even meeting my eyes.

Uneasiness was sitting on his face just as mine and I questioned.

“What are these?” I enquired reading them, he did clear off all my debt but it doesn’t matter since I still have the same amount of loan on my head.

“You must give me 100,000 dollars before the 28^th.” He seemed proud of himself.

“Is that it?” I was dumb to say this, where am I going to find this much amount of money? Pride is a fucking fucked up thing.

But when I remember the night, I shatter into a zillionth pieces. His touch, his hands, his breath… my nightmares.

“If you’ve signed, you’re free to go.” I noticed he was avoiding eye contact with me. He didn’t look at me for once ever since he entered this room.

“I’ll wire it to you, okay then, let’s never see each other again.” I stood up but soon stumbled to a halt as he started speaking.

“Did you not read it carefully or are you acting dumb?” He growled and I spun on my heel to look at him.

“Only cash is acceptable.” He pointed the document out once again. He was purposely making my life hard.

“If you fail, come to suck it as written in the document.” He stood up leaving, how pathetic. I peered down at the floor; how could I miss a huge detail like this?

I’ve even signed the document… what am I supposed to do? I gulped walking outside with fearful steps.

“He’s gonna make it worse than this, just accept it already.” I heard Jamie’s voice, “He’s always been like this. He’ll do anything to convince you, trust me.”

She pursed her lips together showing gratitude as she understands me but, no one does. They pretend like they feel what I’m going through- “I understand.” She sympathized.

“If I show you even an essence of my mind, you’ll be traumatized for life.” I had no reason to hurt her but, I couldn’t hold it in anymore.

.   .   .

It’s going to be the 28^th soon, the money I had is now gone for my brother’s dues and I'm wholly broke.

I go to the bar but don’t get a single client, it’s all his doing. I tried applying for several jobs but couldn’t get into any.

I knew it was his doing too, he was behind everything, with many more sleepless nights and jobless days, a month passed on a whim even though I was counting the days.

He won. I lost. I don’t have a single penny on me but a huge mortgage of $100,000. I smiled looking at myself in the mirror.

How cruel life is, the more I try to hold on, the slippery it gets. I got ready wearing my clothes and dropped my brother at school leading to Levi’s house.

“I choose peaceful slavery!!” I exclaimed removing my coat and stood before him.