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Chapter 2

Author: Not Twenty
On the way home, Mom took Makayla straight to the mall.

She picked out a soft pastel pink dress for Makayla, complete with a pearl hair clip and cute leather shoes. The sales associate gushed about how Makayla looked like a sweet young nurse, and Mom couldn't stop smiling.

When it came to me, she grabbed a plain black shirt off the clearance rack.

"Wear this to the party. Standing by the door in this will make you look mature and grounded. Just don't steal Makayla's spotlight."

I looked at the shirt with its slightly crooked collar, and memories of my eighth-grade school recital came flooding back.

The teacher had originally picked me as the lead dancer, but Mom gave the new dress to Makayla instead, saying it was her first time on stage and she couldn't look underdressed.

So I stood in the back row wearing my faded school uniform while Makayla held a bouquet of flowers and cried, showered with praise for being so brave.

Meanwhile, Jason bought a brand-new phone and handed it straight to Makayla.

"For college. It'll look better when you post on social media."

I reflexively glanced down at my phone with its shattered screen. Seeing my look, Makayla immediately offered me her old phone.

"Emma, why don't you take mine?"

Jason instantly frowned. "Makayla, you spoil her way too much. Emma gets good grades. She'll be drowning in scholarships later, so why are you worrying about her?"

He always had a full set of double standards.

Giving things to Makayla was because she had a tragic life and deserved to be compensated.

Withholding things from me was because my grades were good, so I was expected to shoulder everything myself.

When we got back home, Makayla took a photo of the invitation and posted it on social media:

[It feels so good to be genuinely loved by family.]

Relatives flooded the comments almost instantly.

[Makayla is so blessed.]

[The Martins finally have a sensible girl.]

Looking at that word, "finally," a sharp ache pierced my chest.

At dinner, the table was packed with dishes Makayla liked.

Honey-glazed baked salmon, sweet candied yams, creamy potato soup, and even the roasted vegetables were drizzled with extra maple syrup.

I took a bite, but the overwhelming sweetness turned my stomach.

"Mom, could we have some spicy buffalo wings?"

Mom’s face darkened immediately. "Makayla’s stomach is sensitive today, and you just have to eat spicy food? Emma, can you really not stand seeing her happy?"

Makayla cut in hastily. "Mom, if Emma wants it, please make it for her. I'll be fine, really."

Hearing that only made Mom's heart ache more for her. "Just look at Makayla, then look at you."

I lowered my eyes, remembering how Grandma would always whip up some spicy jalapeño salsa for me.

“Emma isn't a picky eater,” Grandma used to say. “It’s just that no one in your house remembers what she actually likes.”

I didn't get it back then. But now I did.

Dad knocked his knuckles against the table. "Emma, don't go too far away for college. Your mom's health isn't great, and Makayla is naturally timid. Someone needs to be around to look after the family."

I looked up. "What if I want to go out of state?"

The living room fell dead silent for a moment.

Mom scoffed, her brow furrowing. "Why go out of state? It’s not like our state lacks universities. With your grades, just pick any local one. You can land a stable job here later. What matters most for a girl is stability."

Jason piped up next. "If you go ‌far away, what happens if Makayla gets bullied at school?"

Makayla bit her lip softly. "If Emma really wants to go, it's fine. I can take care of myself."

Her words sounded so understanding, yet her eyes welled up with tears.

Mom immediately glared at me. "Your sister thinks about you at every turn, but look at you. Only thinking about flying away on your own."

I didn't say another word.

What they didn't know was that I wasn't just thinking about leaving. I had already applied.

I had completed the initial application, review rounds, and interviews for the Green Ear Project by working in secret during late-night study sessions and lunch breaks.

My homeroom teacher, Ms. Nancy, mailed my recommendation letters, and the confirmation links were sent exclusively to my personal phone and email.

I had kept it hidden meticulously well. After all, I knew all too well that the moment they found out, I could never leave.

Back in my cramped converted pantry, I locked the door and clicked open the link.

[Do you confirm your participation in the Green Ear Project at the Daruna Desert Germplasm Bank?]

I stared at that sentence for a long time before hitting confirm.

[Confirmation successful. Your acceptance letter will be sent to your email address within 24 hours.]

I deleted the text message, encrypted my email app, and shoved the phone back under my pillow.

Out in the living room, Mom was happily helping Makayla try on her new dress. Their bright laughter echoed through the apartment.

For the very first time, I realized that going far away wasn't an escape.

It was the only place I could truly breathe.

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