Chapter 4

Ryker

My jaw clenched against the silence as I leaned against the door. 

Minutes had passed and anyone could come in. It would be uncouth if someone caught me in the ladies bathroom. 

Yet despite that, all I could think of is HER. 

Something bitter swelled up in my chest at the reminder of the look on her face but I tamped it down instantly. Why should I feel guilty?

And my thoughts were disgusting? How dare she say that when everything I'd said was true? She had approached me for money back then afterall? And now she was hanging on Nathan's arm like it was a lifeline.

I shouldn't have come here in the first place. Zerah was nothing to me and I could care less about what she thought. I only approached her to protect Nathan. 

Yes, that was it.

Ignoring everything else, I stepped out and returned back to the party. When I found them, Nathan and Alyn were still talking but there was no sign of her. 

Sidling up next to Alice I met the empty space beside him,

“Where's your date?” I said in a neutral tone, careful to not betray anything that transpired.

“Oh, Zerah? She told me she left. She had a family matter to deal with.” he said 

So that's where she went. My jaw clenched at how comfortable Nathan was saying her name, talking about her so familiarly. He knew nothing about who she was nor did he know of her marriage to me or her true nature.

Was she running from me now that I knew her game?  Did she think she could continue to play Nathan?

“Right, I hope she gets back safely,” Alice said beside me

“She definitely needs some rest,” Nathan chuckled, shaking his head, “She's already gone above and beyond for me following me to this city. This isn't in her job description as my secretary,”

What?

“Your secretary?” I asked, trying to hide my shock as i met Nathan's expression 

“Yeah, she left before I could introduce her fully. She's been working for me for the past four years. A spitfire , that one. I can't even remember how I worked without her,” he sighed

A strange lightness that felt like relief filled me, followed by the same bitter guilt. I forcefully composed myself at  the two realizations from his words. 

 I had wrongfully assumed and accused her of being a golddigger. Thinking back to the look on her face, more bitter guilt swirled inside me.

No. Just because she was working for him didn't mean that she wasn’t trying to take advantage of him. 

“Is that really what you think of me?” A voice that sounded like hers echoed in my mind. I gripped my champagne glass tighter in response.

This wasn't going to be the last time I saw her, so long as she was working with Nathan. 

“You must be really familiar with her to ask her to be with you in this city,” Alice said in a dry tone  

“I'm not too familiar with her, but goodness knows I wish to be. I'd she'd let me. She's…an amazing woman,” Nathan sighed, looking awestruck at the thought of Zerah. I had to turn away to quell the bitter discomfort away.

Why should I care what he thought about Zerah? Why did him liking her make me feel so…angry?

 Fortunately I didn't have to think about it anymore as Alice changed the subject. 

The company wide party was a success and went as usual. For a moment I could keep my head straight.

It's only after returning alone to my apartment that despite the champagne I'd guzzled down through the party, those accursed thoughts barrelled in again.

Why? Why did I feel this draw to her after so many years? She wasn't anything to me, just a contract wife I had for a year. The day we signed that contract years ago was the end of our arrangement, so why hadn’t I stopped thinking about her?

“In our one year of marriage, did you, even if it was a little, care about me?”

I shut my eyes tightly as her voice echoed. Those last words from her years ago were still stuck in my mind. And I HATED it.

Was she trying to confuse me? What feelings? Shewas nothing more than an opportunist woman who offered herself up to be my wife. 

And yet…

Looking at the ring on my finger, I felt absolutely nothing.

After the past several years of Alice being in and out of the hospital, the Falloway  family had settled on an engagement. It felt more like a formality considering that I had been raised with them ever since my  parents died as a child.

 I grew up with Alice ever since we were children and I was protective of her. It only made sense that we would get married now. She was my family. They were my family. 

Yet I didn't feel happy. It didn't feel the same. I didn't feel anything when it came to her, not like I did with-

I pushed those feelings away. 

I was thinking nonsense. I cared for Alice, and that was enough. Not only were his family counting on him but she had done something I could never repay.

She had saved me.

The Family had told me when I woke up from what was a comatose state six years ago that I had gotten into an accident and nearly drowned in the process. Alice, despite her health, was the one who had saved me from drowning nearly six years ago, sacrificing her health.

She was the only one I should care for and be bothered about. Not Zerah or anyone else.

Zerah was nothing to me. I loved Alice and we would get married.

I repeated those words in my head right before I fell into darkness.

.

A myriad of images filled my mind, like flashes of a memory. I couldn't recognize it but I felt it. The feeling of drowning, getting picked up. 

It's okay Mr stranger. You're safe,” a muffled voice gasped. Blinking against lights and seeing -

I woke up in a flash, sweating and gasping in the darkness of my room.

I didn't have any memories of the accident or the drowning. Only flashes of it came to me at a time a while after the accident but as time passed I stopped dreaming about them. This was the first time in YEARS I received a memory. 

I blinked frantically trying to process what I saw. The visions were blurry and I couldn't see well, but I could have sworn that I had seen a younger…

“Zerah?” I gasped out loud. 

No. That had to be a mistake. I didn't even know her until five years ago. How could she be in my memory, much more the one of me drowning?

I had just been thinking too much. Seeing her again was messing with my mind.

Looking at the time on my phone, I saw that it was already time to prepare for work. I dragged myself out of the bed determination filling me.

I couldn't care less about Zerah.

….

3 WEEKS LATER

I was SEETHING. 

Bringing Nathan and Geronimo Cooperation back to the main branch was a good thing and a strategic decision, one that I had absolutely stood by.

Now, I wanted to punch the wall. 

It was all HER fault.

Ever since they arrived I would constantly come into the office and witness Zerah and Nathan together. Laughing and joking together in his office and even in the open. It was too familiar beyond the boundaries of boss and secretary.

Worst of all, I could see Nathan's obvious interest in her. He was barely hiding it and I couldn't tell if she was just oblivious or egging him on.

When it came to me, it was a complete contrast. She kept looking past me like I didn't exist and had never said a word to me.  It was exactly what I wished for. Professional and distant.

I was SICK of it.

Anger rose in me anytime I saw them together. Yes, perhaps I had gone to the Geronimo branch more times than necessary to help them adjust to the move, but it irked me.

It's not jealousy, I reminded myself, it's concern.

Yes. The reason I was feeling this way was anger and concern towards Nathan. He was oblivious and she was seducing him for her ulterior motives. 

No matter how much I repeated that it was hard to process when I arrived in the building to see her entering his office.

My fists clenched. It was evening, near closing. What was she going there for this time?

Suddenly the door banged open. Alarmed I found her rushing out of the office with her bag, she didn't seem to notice me as she moved past, running.

What the hell?

After entering Nathan's office, I didn't hesitate to ask.

“What happened to her?”

“She said she had to leave early. Family issues.” Nathan sighed, looking worried. My gut clenched at the thought. I didn't know she had family, then again I barely tried to know her. 

After talking to Nathan I stepped out of his office when someone  bumped into me.

What is going on?” I asked, recognizing the purse that belonged to Zerah. 

“Miss Grayson forgot her purse. I was going to tell Mr Hail since he's close to her,” he murmured looking at her bag.

My jaw clenched. I had no idea what possessed me to move on impulse as I grabbed the purse.

“I'll take it to her.” I said to the sputtering employee “Get me her address.”

I arrived at her address by sundown, wondering what was wrong with me. I had no idea why I wanted to see her again. As I knocked on her door I composed myself just in time for it to open. 

Her expression fell into surprise as she saw me and I couldn't help but look over her. She looked so different with her hair down, free from her work clothes. She looked…

Scared?

“What are you doing here?” She asked, her voice an octave higher than normal. I could see the alarm on her face. 

“You forgot this in the office.” I passed her the purse. I saw the realization come onto her face as she snatched it before glaring at me.

“Thank you, now leave.” she snapped and irritation swelled in me.

 “Zerah-”

“Don't call me that! Leave now!”

“What the hell is wrong with-”

“Mom?” 

I could have sworn her breath hitched right before footsteps came. From the open corner of the door two figures emerged and my world stopped.

Standing at the corner of the room were two little boys.

And they looked EXACTLY like ME.