Check Yourself

*SIMONE*

It’s been months since I last saw or even heard from the girls since Jamira’s birthday. I assumed everyone was busy because I reached out, but no one responded. I was disappointed because I wanted to catch up and avoid being left out of the latest gossip.

I didn’t mind that I was the one who had to keep them in check most of the time. I just wanted them to get along and have a good time.

I was thrilled when Ayana called me and said we were having brunch. It was a rare opportunity for us to spend time together after months of not getting the same day off. Naturally, I showed up because I missed them and their carefree nature. They were chaotic, but they were my girls.

However, nothing could have prepared me for the chaos that ensued. I was embarrassed, scared, and exhausted. I wanted the floor to swallow me when Ayana swung her fist and hit Keema’s face.

I didn’t expect that, but I also didn’t expect this whole thing to be a setup.

I understand that Keema is a trifling crotch goblin who seeks trouble. What she did was wrong, but I still believe it could have been handled better, especially in a restaurant.

As if that wasn’t enough, I left the restaurant and saw Ayana beating Keema in the parking lot, hitting her head against a car. I rushed over to intervene, but it was too late. Ayana wasn’t just defending Mira; she was seeking blood. And at the rate she was going, she was going to get more than that.

I approached them and grabbed Keema from Ayana’s grasp. It wasn’t easy, but it was easier than confronting Ayana, who was incredibly strong and fast in these situations. I didn’t want to ruin my money-maker by messing with her and getting a blow to the face.

“Ayana, stop! They’re going to call the cops!”

“I don’t care! She’s been doing stuff to Mira this whole time, and I’m fed up with it. She knew she loved that job.”

Desperate, I had to remind her of the consequences if she didn’t stop.

“I understand. She’s clearly wrong, but you could lose your job and even your license if you go to jail for this. Look at what you did to this person’s car.”

“I want her head.”

“J-A-I-L.” I thought I needed to spell it out for her since she wasn’t listening.

She finally calmed down enough for me to let Keema go. I don’t know how, but I managed to convince everyone to gather under a nearby tree. That way, I could speak my mind.

“First and foremost, let me say this is why I can’t stand you bitches now.”

They all gasped.

“Don’t be surprised. This was uncalled for. And for what, some dick? Is it really that important?”

“And being a lesbian is much better now, huh?”

“Ayana, shut your ass up because yes, it is.”

That’s right, I’m gay, and for a good reason. Look at these heifers fighting over the same dusty penis that probably has been inside everyone from Kentucky to California. I never saw the point. I never understood guys. They were stupid, annoying, and just gross. Girls, I understood. I could nurture them. I could relate. Hell, for what it’s worth, Keema tried me too.

She’s just a sad hoe trying to find her place in the world. I couldn’t fault her for that, but I did set boundaries and keep the situation between us.

“Keema, we’re all here because of you! Get your act together and find a man of your own.”

“Mira, I swear to God, I’m sick of you and Chris drama. Either fix it or leave that man behind. Hell, maybe you and Keema would stop being so miserable if you both let him go.”

“Ayana, keep your hands to yourself. We all know Keema doesn’t do a good job defending herself, but one day she will get tired…”

“Speaking of that, aren’t you tired of getting your ass beat anyway?” Ayana asked genuinely curious.

“Ayana, please shut the fuck up. Do you realize how many charges you could’ve racked up from this incident alone? Vandalism, assault, battery, reckless conduct. Are you registering what is at stake here?”

“I see law school paid off,” Ayana said jokingly.

“Look we’re better than this. Keema not you, but we don’t need to be acting like this.”

Just then my phone rang. It was my girlfriend. I knew what time it was when she called. It was time for me to go but before I did I tried to leave them with food for thought since we couldn’t have a normal outing.

“Keema you think you messing with that girl’s man is going to end well for you but your day is coming. Mira you can do so much better than both of them. Ayana go sit your ass down somewhere. We have too much to lose to be fighting each other.”

With that I left and went to my safe place. My girlfriend.