Luxury for Her Mother, Lectures for Mine

"Lucy, that's my mom. What does 800 dollars even mean to our family?" I asked.

My wife, Lucy Glaser, didn't look up. "Caleb, family ties don't override the principles of household asset allocation. 800 dollars times 12 months is 9,600 dollars. That's a 0.0096% fluctuation in annualized returns.

"Any off-budget expense is you digging a hole for your future self."

She paused, opened an app, and turned the screen toward me.

"Look. Last month, you bought a tie without authorization and pushed the 'nonessential personal items' category over budget by 312 dollars and 50 cents.

"This month, you want to rent an apartment for your mother. And next month? What, are you going to hire a caregiver for her?"

I stared at the glaring red number on the screen and felt nothing but disbelief.

Last month, I settled a major case. On my way home, I passed a boutique and noticed a tie in the window. It was clean-lined and understated.

I thought about how worn my old ties were and decided to buy one. It was that simple.

That 300-plus dollars was the only expense in nearly half a year that I hadn't run through Lucy for approval.

I took a deep breath and forced down the surge of anger in my chest. "I make 12 million dollars a year. My mom wants to rent an 800-dollar place, yet that needs your approval?"

Lucy smiled, but her gaze stayed sharp. "Caleb, we're married. Your income is marital property. And don't forget, three years ago, you signed the 'Family Asset Management Agreement.'

"I'm the sole manager of this household's assets. So it's my responsibility to eliminate all irrational spending."

She closed the app and reached into a drawer, taking out a small, elegant velvet box.

"Oh, right. My mom's birthday is next week. I ordered her a Chanel bag using our joint account. I've already logged it under 'family relationship maintenance.' It counts as a reasonable expense tied to our core objectives."

The frustration I'd been swallowing finally erupted.

800 dollars to rent a place for Mom was irrational spending, but 230 thousand dollars for her mother's bag was reasonable.

I stared at her hard. "Lucy, does your risk control only apply when it's my family?"

She sighed. "Caleb, how do you still not get it? My mother's social circle determines what she needs to maintain appearances. Your mother is a retired factory worker.

"Living in an older building is more her speed, and it's good for her mentally and physically."

When Lucy finished speaking, she stood up and poured me a glass of water.

"Enough of this. Get some sleep. You've got court tomorrow. And you've already used 87% of your credit limit this month. There isn't much left.

"I was worried you might make an impulse purchase, so I temporarily locked the card. It'll be restored automatically on the first of next month."

I held the glass of water, feeling my fingertips go cold.

…

Early the next morning, I opened my mobile banking app.

I tapped through every salary card and dividend account under my name. Every balance showed the same thing—a glaring three-digit number.

All of my money was automatically transferred on the first of every month into a "family trust fund" account fully controlled by Lucy. Any outgoing payment from that fund required her electronic signature.