My misery

ALIYAH’s POV

 

If wishes were horses, a beggar would ride one, they say. I wished the floor could open up and consume me that minute as I stared at the semi lifeless body. The whole memory of my friend and my lover replayed in my head and I felt so bad. I had been so gullible and foolish. My whole life had been a lie. The people I called my friends and centered my whole life around had turned my life to a joke. 

 

Wiping off the tears from my eyes, I stood up and walked to the body. There he was, laying peacefully. I was immediately filled with so much anger and hatred for the young man despite his state. If he didn’t exist, I wouldn’t be in this mess that I was. My whole life would not have taken a negative turn…. Or maybe it would have taken a more complicated dimension?

 

Heading out of the room where he was kept, I proceeded to the living room. The sweet moment and memories we shared clouded my mind. Was it all a joke? Did I really mean nothing to him? 

 

“Your husband must not lack anything. He is incapacitated as you can see so ensure you provide all he needs. ” His mother spoke with so much authority. How could she sit there comfortably, saying such words to me?

 

“If he needs anything, do let me know.” 

 

“If I was your daughter…” I halted, staring at her with so much anger and frustration. “Would you wish the same for me?” 

 

She turned to look at me, her brows arched. “If you were my daughter, taking care of your husband wouldn’t be a big deal. Of course, I can ask you to do that. As a matter of fact, I would ask you to do it as it is your responsibility” She responded with so much confidence. What on earth was she talking about?

 

“If I was your daughter, would you want me to marry a man in such position?” I probed once more, unable to move even further. 

 

“Your marriage with him wasn’t under duress. “ She spoke briskly, holding her phone in her hands. “You were in the proper state of mind when you agreed to marry my son.” 

 

“I was deceived! I was lied to..” My voice broke.

 

Raising her meticulously curved brows, she stared at me as though I had lost my mind. 

 

“Like I said earlier, young lady. I do not know what you are talking about. All that matters is… you weren’t under duress and you were also in the proper state of mind.” 

 

Where was her empathy? How could she be so cruel? Now, I was trapped. My whole life was trapped with a man who was barely alive. Who knows when the last thread of life he held on to will be cut off? 

 

Lost for words, I headed back to my room, trying so hard to not break down right in front of her. Just then, my phone rang. I scoffed as I looked at who the caller was. A wry smile formed on my face at the change of events. Each time I saw his calls, each time he placed a call to me, my heart would be gladdened but this time, it broke. 

 

I was shattered and hurt. It hurts even more to know the one man I had loved for so long never loved me. I wiped away the tears and tried to behave so calm. It was difficult but I knew it was something I could pull up. 

 

“Hey…” I spoke over the phone. 

 

“Hey beautiful, how are you doing?” He questioned. I faked a chuckle. 

 

“Very well, thanks. I.. I am just exhausted. Today was a whole lot. “ I let out a sigh and he smiled. 

 

“Thank you so much for helping me. I am grateful for standing in for my brother’s wife. You are a rare gem.” He spoke. With each sweet words he said, my heart shattered even more. The confidence with which he lied to me was alarming. How could he be so confident with such lies?

 

“Sure. By the way,.. is there anything you want to say to me? Is there anything you want to tell me?* I questioned, giving him a benefit of doubt. I really wanted to know if he was going to tell me the truth. 

 

He was quiet for a while. 

 

“Are you there?” I questioned, once again. Perhaps, he had realized his secret had being exposed and wanted to confess to me? My heart was aching but I knew I had to get it over with as soon as I could otherwise the remaining years I have to spend would remain miserable. 

 

“Yes…yes, I am.” He responded briskly. 

 

“Is there anything you want to say to me? Is there anything you want me to be aware of?” I questioned one more time, my heart racing so hard. 

 

“Let’s meet up.” He spoke out of the blues. 

 

“M..meet up?” I questioned. 

 

“Yea, sure. Is there something wrong?” He probed. 

 

“Not at all. Send me the location you want us to meet and I will see you there.” I responded and ended the call immediately. I couldn’t keep up with the lie and pretense anymore… I was going through hell and high waters. How I was going to take care of everything now?

 

While still in thoughts, my phone rang once again. It was my mother. My heart raced even more and my whole body was paralyzed with fear. I was in a mess. I ignored the call but it rang again. 

 

“Hey, mom. I am in the middle of something very important. I will place a call to you later. “ I spoke quickly and ended the call. Mother would be quite worried since she had not seen me in hours but I could not tell her the truth. I remembered the words I was told earlier. I remembered the warnings Mother had given me about him. 

 

She would mock me and be disappointed if she finds out the truth. As soon as I ended the call, I got a notification.. A notification from the man I once loved. It was the address of where he wanted us to meet. I had to face it. 

 

I was hungry but I couldn’t go out to eat. I lost my appetite immediately. I picked up my phone immediately to place a call to Carey but on a second thought, I decided not to. I was going to give them both the benefit of doubt, perhaps, they would come out clean and confess everything to me. 

 

My mother in law did not fail to call me occasionally, to carry out several chores she deemed fit. I had always envisioned my life after marriage with Jason. I had dreamt of us having kids, having fun and travelling too but I guess I was building a castle in the air. It was all a waste of time. 

 

Seconds rolled into minutes and minutes into hours and the time seemed to finally come. The time I long awaited….or maybe not. Some dresses had being kept in a wardrobe in the room I was allocated to. My mother in law had told me they belonged to me anyway hence I picked out a black sequin dress. It was a bitter day for me and that was the reason why I got cladded in a black dress as well as every other accessory I used with it. 

 

I wasn’t so sure my mother in law was going to let me leave so easily without tending to my 'husband.’ As expected, she tried to stop me from leaving but I had to plead my way. Although I knew it was going to be very difficult to face that traitor, I just had to do as he had asked. 

 

Finding my way to the bar he asked up to link up wasn’t so difficult. It was however time consuming as I had to look around suspiciously with each step that I took to ensure I did not come in contact with my mother or anyone who could be spying on me or who knew her. 

 

Jason had a wide smile on his face as he watched me saunter to the bar counter with a fake smile etched to my face. My chin had begun to hurt but I continued to fake the smile. He had once glass of wine in his hands and I knew he had just one intention… to be wasted. 

 

I on the other hand wanted to find out the truth from him. I wanted him to tell me himself. 

 

“You are way too beautiful.” He started as he ordered for a drink to be given to me to but I declined the offer. My mission wasn’t to get wasted like he was. I had better things to do with my time. His smiles pierced my heart. They were once the smiles that lit up my world but realizing the level of betrayal he exhibited towards me, everything that caused excitement in my heart suddenly began to look evil. 

 

It was still so hard to understand how he was able to put on with this charade all this while. The sweet nights we had had together, when he professed his love to me, the days he promised he could take a bullet for me? The extra miles he went for my sake? They were all for revenge. 

 

“Why?” He started, his breathe stinking. He reeked of alcohol. “Why aren’t you having something to drink?” He questioned. 

 

“I do not need to. I am not thirsty neither am I hungry. I do not need any drink.” I responded with a frown etched to my face. “By the way, I am not so comfortable here. Can we leave to your house?” I pleaded, watching his eyes for any change but there wasn’t. 

 

“My house?” He probed, his brows arched. 

 

“Yes… your house or anywhere more comfortable. I would prefer your house though. We need to talk about something very important.” I informed him. He was quiet for a millisecond but almost immediately, he stood up and held me with care. 

 

“Alright then.” He smiled. “We have some unfinished business anyway. “