7

§ MUM §

I lay down groggily on the hospital bed, feeling like death. Louis had fallen asleep on the floor in front of my bed, with his legs up. He looked so peaceful, I didn’t want to disturb him. The doctor made her way into the room, smiling at me reassuringly.

“Hi Linda, how are you feeling, my love?” she asked.

“Not the best, but I feel a lot better from when I was first rushed here,” I admitted.

“Stay strong, darling. You just need some time to rest and repair,” the doctor reassured. “I’d make sure that the man who did this to you doesn’t get away with it. You better go to the police about this. The things men in the pub do when they’re drunk!

“Don’t worry Doc, I will as soon as I’m out of here,” I replied, exhausted.

“Anyway, I came in here to check on you, but I also wanted to let you know you’ve got a visitor,” said the doctor, and I rubbed my chin thoughtfully. “He’s a guy called Matthew. Do you want me to let him in?”

“Yes! Yes, of course!” My eyes lit up in happiness. Matthew… he came to see me. My light at the end of the tunnel. Nothing mattered as long as I still had him by my side.

I rubbed my eyes as the doctor left the room, and then Matthew walked inside, holding a massive gift box in his arms. He stared at me with a timid expression on his face.

“Baby, I’m so sorry this happened to you,” he said sadly. “I wish there was something I could do.”

“Don’t worry, babe,” I reassured him. “You just being here for me means the world to me as it is.”

Matthew gave me a kiss on my forehead, and my heart fluttered with butterflies. He was the only glimmer of hope I had in this dark situation.

“I wasn’t there for you,” he said timidly. “I didn’t get there in time to help you.” He took deep breaths in and out, and a tear slid down his cheek.

“It’s not your fault, my darling,” I said, sitting up on the bed.

“Linda, if only you knew how much I care about you…” Matthew began. “I’ve wanted to be with you for so long, to spoil you, look after you, treat you like a queen.” He sighed, drawing out another deep breath. “But it can’t happen while you’re living with Steve.”

Silent tears rolled down my cheeks, as I contemplated how fucked up my life was. I couldn’t be with a man that I wanted to be with… because of another toxic, abusive, misogynistic, manipulative man that held a chokehold over my life and stopped me from ever being happy.

“Babe, you need to stay strong so that you can get better,” Matthew said sadly. “Don’t get upset please.” He kissed my forehead again, and then put the large present he’d brought in with him, down next to the hospital bed.

“It was Steve that did this to you, wasn’t it?” Matthew sighed. “Not a drunk old man.”

I said nothing.

“Babe, you need to leave him before he does any more damage!” Matthew begged. “Please babe. It’s breaking my heart seeing you like this.”

“I’m too scared of him,” I admitted. “It’s like I’m in a tangled spider web and I’m trapped, and I can’t get out of it.”

“Babe, you need to go to the police about this…” Matthew began.

“I would have a long time ago…” I said timidly, crossing my arms. “But I can’t do that to Louis. He loves Steve to pieces, he would never forgive me.”

“If Louis knew what was going on, maybe he’d understand…”

“Oh Matthew, he’s already been through so much since his dad left,” I sighed. “When I had a second marriage and married Steve, Steve gave him happiness… It was what Louis needed after all those sleepless nights. I don’t want to worry him, and that’s why I’m never going to tell him the truth about Steve abusing me. I can’t break his heart by taking away the one man who means the world to him…”

And it was true. Steve was like the dad that Louis never had. He was the only adult who really understood him, and knew where he was coming from. They’d have the most amazing days out, and Steve would spoil him, and they’d have really intellectual conversations. It hurt Louis enough when Steve would act off and wouldn’t stay in touch… Louis finding out that Steve was a woman-beater would just add more salt to the wound.

Matthew drew a deep breath, and I stroked Louis’s hair sadly, as he snored peacefully, not batting an eyelid. As long as Louis grew up to be a good man… None of this would matter. Louis and Matthew were the only people that mattered to me.