LOGINChapter 1
*~°*~°*~°* Elizabeth *~°*~°*~°* There is a man bleeding on the altar. I blinked—once, twice, to be sure I wasn't seeing things. I'm not, because he is still there and he's bleeding quite a lot. There's blood all over the floor that I have to force myself to breathe… and not throw up. My eyes dart across the cathedral, but there is no one here but him… and me—an ordinary nun who is yet to take her vows. What should I do? I can't just run and leave him here… The only reason why I'm up at this ungodly hour is because I couldn't sleep. I've been having trouble sleeping this days and I only needed fresh air. Maybe Mama was right—where ever I go, bad things tend to happen. Take a deep breath, Liz. Take. a. deep. breath, Liz. Exhaling deeply, I walked towards him, clutching my rosary like it was meant to protect me from him. He could be a bad man. What if him bleeding on the altar is an act? What if I get there he’ll grab me and— Oh. My. God. He's looking at me now. He's really looking at me with eyes so dark that I could have sworn—if nuns are allowed to swear—that there's something dangerous about him. “Come here,” he commanded, in a deep and raspy voice that does something to me that I can't explain. My heart skittered to a stop. The way his voice comes out makes it seem like he says that to a lot of women and they listen immediately. And I had an awful, awful impulse to listen. With an erratic heartbeat, I took sure steps towards him. As soon as I reached him, he grabbed me by hand, pulling me onto him. One moment I was standing and the next moment am on him, my entire habit is stained with blood now. What will I tell Mother Superior now? He tilted my chin up to meet his gaze, studying me like he’s trying to uncover if I'm a threat or not. His eyes stopped on the rosary around my neck, his gaze softening right after. We're too close to each other so I rocked back, not fighting him because I'm afraid that if I do, I might end up worsening the injury—a bullet wound at his side. I pulled back again and for a man who is bleeding, his grip is surprisingly tight and I'm already shaken with the lightening bolt exploding in my chest and fizzing through my veins. My breasts are pressed against his hard, warm abs and a shiver rolled through me. He's a dying man, Liz. Control yourself! “Y-you're really hurt. I'll have to go find help,” I told him, trying to get up because the position we were in was not one I needed someone else to walk into. A lot of things could be misread, and as it already is, I'm not really in the good books of many. But he dragged me back before I could succeed in rising up, hauling me back onto him. “Don't call anyone, Angel…” Angel? Angel?! Is he seeing angels already? Oh my God, this man is going to die. Mother Superior always says that when people are close to death, they begin to see ghosts, visions of their loved ones who are dead and most importantly, angels who have come to take them. But if I can't call anyone, how am I supposed to save him? We tend to the sick, wounded and those dying in the convent. Well, exclude the latter part because this is the first time am this close to a dying man who is bleeding this much. If I don't save him, the Lord will never forgive me. I can't let him die. I won't. “But…” “Take me to your room,” he asked in the same voice as earlier that I'm beginning to hate, it does things to me that I shouldn't like. To my room? Does he not realize who I am or is his brain so fuzzed up that he can't think properly? If anyone sees a man in my room, I'll be kicked out of the convent for sure. No man should even be on the monastery grounds at this hour, let alone taking him into my room. I'm just about to tell him that but he repeated the words again, “Take me to your room.” His tone more firmer than before, with added force than necessary. Taking a deep breath, shutting all the screaming voices in my head, I manage to lift him up, although I don't do it on my own. He helped by trying to get up as well. I guess he understands how huge his body frame is. With slow steps, we make our way out of the cathedral, heading to the convent and specifically to my room. Luckily, the rest of the sisters retired early today, so it's just me and a man twice my height beside me. I'm not going to lie, I'm panicking. What if someone sees us? What if he dies and am accused of murder? I hope he doesn't. I just want to help a man… an innocent man perhaps. Please, Lord… help me this time. Help me pass this test, please. With a little push, my room door opened and we stepped in. After helping him onto the bed, I quickly rushed back to close the door, locking it after me. A low ragged groan erupted from him, dragging my attention back to him, then I realized his eyes were closed now. I don't have much time. “Please don't die,” I whispered, almost crying now. “Please, stay alive for me. Please…” He didn't respond. Rather, he was mumbling something under his breath, something I couldn't quite hear. Opening my closet, I grabbed the first aid kit, blowing off the dust scattered all over the top of the box. Clutching it to my chest, I walked towards the bed, sitting beside him and dropping the box next to me. I inhaled. I exhaled. You can do this, Liz. Just don't kill him and you'll be fine. I took one look at the door again, listening for footsteps before returning my eyes to him. Lord, I should have stayed in my room today.Chapter 201*~°*~°*~°*Elizabeth*~°*~°*~°*A warm hand that I have recently grown familiar with touches my shoulder. I flinch, but not enough to be noticeable.“Elizabeth?” There’s a pause, then she adds, “It’s alright,” she murmurs making gentle circles at my back. I shake my head, disagreeing immediately, “No, it’s not. They died because of me. I killed them, Mama. I caused their death… I’m the reason for the murder.”I don’t know why or when she got out of the car, all I know is that she doesn’t hesitate to lower herself beside me, forgetting that the ground might be too damp for the expensive clothe she’s putting on.The next thing I’m waiting to hear, is her telling me to stand up or asking that I stop crying. She doesn’t.Instead she wraps her arms around me and that is all it takes for me to fall apart.I turn into her embrace, clutching the back of her coat as if I’m a child again. I can’t speak. When I try to, another sob rises in my throat that leaves me gasping for air.
Chapter 200*~°*~°*~°*Elizabeth*~°*~°*~°*LOCATION: Chicago, Illinois. {MARY AND WALTER}___________________________________Beloved in life. Remembered in every life to come.Some people become our family not by blood, but by love they give when the world has given us nothing.____________________________________I stare at the words engraved on the stone for a moment longer than I can actually remember. I read the words at first, then I reread them multiple times till it’s stays in my memory, because it resonates with me.Everything it said, it was exactly how I felt when they opened their doors to a pregnant woman who had nowhere to stay.The flowers in my hand feels heavy as I stand in the graveyard hoping that all of this is a bad dream, that Mary will wake up and bake all her delicious treats for us, or Walter telling me to always make sure I have a happy face on.But the silence and blowing wind reminds me that it’s not. All of this is real, and I’m at the wrong side o
Chapter 199*~°*~°*~°*Elizabeth*~°*~°*~°*As our convoy moves through the road, I peer my head through the window, seeking some sort of relief.While Mama stays in constant communication with the guards and drivers in the other cars, with a tablet in her hands.Each second that passes by reminds me of how close to the airport we are, how close I am to saying goodbye to a particular chapter.And I’m still not sure if I want to. I have never been more confused.My roaming thoughts are interrupted when Mama’s phone rings.She scrolls through the screen immediately, answering, “Yes?”I don’t hear anything else from her after that, which is unusual. When I turn to look at her, I find her facial expression different now, almost like something bad has happened.“What is it?” I’m asking before I can even remember that she is still on a call.She lifts a hand, silently asking me to wait.“Repeat that,” she urges the person at the other end of the line.I try to listen for words, something…
Chapter 198*~°*~°*~°*Elizabeth*~°*~°*~°*The first thing I notice when Mama leaves is the balcony door. For some reason, it’s open.I stand there, staring at it, waiting for something to make sense, but nothing happens since it’s just me in the room. Slowly, I start walking towards the door and then I look outside.There’s nothing.The adjoining balcony is empty too, no sign of anyone there. Nevertheless, my eyes still searches to check if I would spot a familiar shadow anywhere, but I don’t.As usual, he vanished.I should feel relieved, but instead there is this gnawing ache within me that urges me to close the doors with speed.Mama has made her position on the matter perfectly clear. She does not want him near me, at least not until I have thought things through.She thinks he will hurt me again and again. Maybe, she’s right but I’m probably too blind to see it.*~°*~°*~°*To be honest, I cannot sleep. And before I can complete the final rolling on the bed, it is already morni
Chapter 197*~°*~°*~°*Elizabeth*~°*~°*~°*I want to dissapear. I need to, and I’m talking anytime soon.“Elizabeth, darling, what happened to your lips?”I touch them instinctively, wondering what’s wrong with them. “Nothing,” I answer, even though I’m not so sure.“Nothing?”“I must have bitten them,” I add quickly.Mama’s gaze shifts from my lips to my neck, her eyes widening when she sees the marks. My robe must have fallen from that area the moment I shifted from her when she tried to hold me.“What is that?!”She reaches for it, but I move away… again. “Mama—”“Come here, darling.”“It’s nothing, Mama.”“Elizabeth, let me see,” she insists, trying to get a closer look.I try to pull the robe more tightly around myself, but it is too late. She has already seen it and she is no longer looking at me as if she thinks I’m tired.The look on her face is one of terror, like she thinks someone hurt me. “Oh, my God.” She catches my wrist. “Who did this to you?”“Mama, wait…”“Who, plea
Chapter 196*~°*~°*~°*Elizabeth*~°*~°*~°*If I can describe myself this very moment— I would liken myself to a criminal who has just hidden a body or is about to hide one.I mutter a silent prayer under my breath, count from one to ten, then I open the door but not wide enough for Mama to see who is inside.Mama stands at the other side of the door, still wearing the dress she was wearing to the Syndicate Court gathering and it dawns on me that while their little party had been going on, I had been in here with Luciano… making love?No.I won’t call it lovemaking. It was something else for sure, just not that.“Oh, darling.” Mama reaches for my face and I force myself not to flinch out of guilt. She looks so worried. “What happened to you? Why did you take so long to open the door? I have been looking everywhere for you.”With my grip on the door tightening as each second passes, I force a smile and muster the only words I can think of at the moment, “I’m fine, Mama.”She studies me
Chapter 8 *~°*~°*~°* Elizabeth *~°*~°*~° “Hello, sister,” he rasped, in that familiar voice that does things to my insides that I can't explain. His voice is deep. But gentle. Soft even. And my brain doesn't know how to react. My stare shifted from him to Mama, but she's too excited to notice h
Chapter 85 ••~••°••~•• Luciano ••~••°••~•• If there was ever a moment when it felt like my heart had been ripped out, and life squeezed out completely from it—then right now is included. As soon as the child slipped, falling on the raining, it did feel like my lungs had been seized completely of
Chapter 87*~°*~°*~°*Elizabeth*~°*~°*~°*She is still breathing. Thank the Lord, the child is still breathing. I know, because I’ve checked thirty-two times. And in every single one of them, I half expected my heart to burst out of my chest due to how fast it was beating.Nothing could have prep
Chapter 88*~°*~°*~°*Elizabeth*~°*~°*~°*“Thank you,” I utter, my voice barely audible as I take the tea cup from Ms. Gladys, Luciano's housekeeper who I'm just meeting for the very first time. Turns out she was on leave during the periods I had been here. She's old, looks like she is in her earl







