CHAPTER FOUR

Winter

The wind slices through my clothes as I navigate the little motorboat over the water, but I almost don't care. The cold means nothing compared to every other hard thing I've been through.

Damon sleeps on the other end of the boat, curled up under the blanket. He offered to guide the boat back to the mainland, but I insisted, already knowing I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.

Lifting my face to the sky, I watch the stars. I'm still shaking from the run-in with the Silver Hunters.

I've felt anger before, but nothing like that. It was as if I were a volcano ready to explode.

I didn't like it. It scared me.

Sighing, I look back over the water. What would Alec say if he were still here?

Probably that I'm stronger than I know. That I can control myself.

Funny. He was always worried about not being able to control his vampire side, worried that he would lose his hold and drink blood from someone he didn't want to--like me.

And in the end, that thing he was worried about never happened.

In the end, something we didn't see coming happened.

Tears fill my eyes and splash onto my lap.

I wipe my tears away and take a deep breath. I can't change what's happened, but I can honor his memory by being the person he always knew I could be.

I'll get revenge on the Silver Hunters for what they did to Alec. I'll make them pay.

But I'll do it on my own terms. I won't let my anger control me again.

Biting my lip, I focus on the lights ahead of us. I can see the mainland now, its yellow lights stringing the shore. Once we reach it, we can hop a bus and head toward...

Where?

Am I just going to walk into Hawthorn alone and take on the Silver Hunters? Even if Damon did choose to come with me, we'd still be severely outnumbered, and until I learn how to use the coin it's no real help.

Up ahead, the fog starts to collect again. It swirls together in one spot above the water, like a ghostly apparition. Like a...

Like a person.

I stiffen, not moving one muscle.

As the boat gets closer, I see it's not actually mist. It's a projection.

Of my dad!

He's appearing in front of me just like he did at the pocket dimension.

I start to shout out to him, but the words catch in my throat. I can't believe he's here again!

I kill the engine, and the boat floats up to him. Sure enough, he looks like a cliché of a ghost. Except I know he's not a ghost. He's real.

Just appearing to me from somewhere else.

"Dad," I squeak.

He smiles at me, his hand raised in greeting. "Hey, kiddo. I'm proud of you, you know that?"

I blink, confused. "Proud? Why?"

"For everything you're doing," he says. "For taking on the Silver Hunters. For being strong."

I look down, fiddling with the edge of my shirt. "It doesn't feel like I'm being strong. It feels like I'm constantly falling apart."

"I know," he says, and his voice is gentle. "But that's what being strong is. It's not about being invincible, or never breaking down. It's about getting back up again, no matter how many times you've fallen."

I look up at him, tears prickling the corners of my eyes. "I miss you so much. Where are you?"

"I can't tell you that," he says softly. "It would be too dangerous for you to know."

I shake my head, confused. Why would it be so dangerous?

"You didn't die," I say.

"No." He steps closer to me, and I can see the details of his appearance more clearly--the lines around his eyes, the way his hair falls in his face. "And I'm here to help you with that."

I stare at him. "How? How can you help me?"

"Did you get the coin?"

I nod, the memory of how I got it--Alec sacrificing himself--leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. "Yeah, but Alec--my friend. He's gone. He died. He sacrificed himself so that I could have it."

Fresh tears fill my eyes, and my throat aches. I'm so tired of crying. So tired of grieving.

"Listen carefully, Winter. It's more powerful than you realize. It can do things you can't even imagine."

"Like what?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Alec isn't dead."

My breath catches in my chest. "What?"

"He's not alive either." His lips draw thin.

"His spirit is trapped in between worlds, but with the coin, you can release him. You can bring him back to the living world."

I sit there, stunned, my mind trying to comprehend what he's saying. "How? How can I do that?"

"You'll need to learn to use the coin's power," he says.

I shake my head. "I know, I just--I don't know how to use it! I don't know what to do with this thing!"

I pull it from my pocket and stare at it. All this trouble for this tiny thing. Can it really do what my dad is saying it can? Does it have the power to bring Alec back?

"How?" I ask. "How do I use it to do that?"

He hesitates. "I don't know. No one really knows."

My heart sinks.

"You have to learn the Golden Coin," he goes on. "Take time to know it. Eventually, it will reveal its ways to you."

I run my fingers over the smooth etchings on the coin. "How long will this take?"

"That's another thing I don't know, but Winter... You'll have to make a choice. You'll need to focus on one thing at a time. It's your head or your heart."

I stare at him. “What does that mean?”

“You have to focus on one task, Winter. You can’t rush back to Hawthorn and save Alec at the same time.”

Is he saying what I think he is? That I can either save Alec or save Hawthorn?

No. I can't believe that. I won't believe that.

"Dad, I can't choose between them," I say firmly. "I need to save Alec, but I also need to stop the Silver Hunters from hurting anyone else. I can't just turn a blind eye to their evil deeds."

"I understand," he says, his voice soft. "But you need to go all in on whatever decision you make. There’s no guarantee that if you retrieve Alec first there will still be time to take your school back from the Silver Hunters. And remember, Winter, the path you choose will have consequences. You must be prepared for them."

"I can't just leave Hawthorn to suffer," I say, shaking my head. "I have to protect them from the Silver Hunters. But Alec..."

I need Alec. Almost as much as I need air to breathe.

It doesn't make logical sense, but I swear Alec and I were meant to meet. We were meant to be together. From the moment I first saw him, I knew something was different about him.

"Dad," I say, my voice shaking. "What do I do?"

"That's up to you, Winter," he says with a small smile. "You're strong, and you'll make the right choice."

The projection starts to fade, and I reach out to grab his hand. "Wait! When will I see you again?"

"I can't say. But know that I'm always with you."

And then he's gone, and I'm left on the boat, with nothing but the sound of the water lapping against the hull.

Alec is alive! Or... partially alive?

What did my dad mean, that he's not alive or dead? Is he in some kind of limbo state?

And how does my dad even know this? How is he astral projecting? How is he finding me?

I have so many questions, and for the second time in a row there's been no time to get any answers.

Damon stirs, the blanket falling off him, and he sits up straight. "What did I miss?"

"A lot." A burst of energy floods me. "Alec is... he's out there."

"What?" His eyes widen.

"Yeah." I lick my lips and rub my thumb back over the coin. My dad said I need to make a choice between my head and my heart, but I know I can have both.

I can save Alec, and I can save Hawthorn.

I don't exactly know how yet, but that won't stop me. Nothing will stop me.