Chapter 18

Xander's POV

Fuck.

I’m panting, my heart a frantic drum against my ribs. It feels like I’ve just sprinted a mile. The evidence of my dream is a cooling, sticky mess plastered across my abs and soaking through my boxers. I stare up at the dark ceiling, trying to catch my breath, trying to make my brain work.

I haven’t had a wet dream in years. And I have never come that hard from one. It was a full-body explosion, a seizure of pleasure that ripped me right out of the fantasy and into this cold, shameful reality.

Zahra. Fuck!

Her name echoes in my skull, a siren’s call and a death toll all at once. I just fantasized about my best friend’s little sister. I fucked her on the porch of the lake house in my mind. I can still feel the ghost of her body under my hands, the phantom heat of her around my cock. My dick gives a painful, oversensitive throb at the memory, a traitorous pulse of interest.

What the hell is wrong with me?

For three years, my entire world has been Max. His dark eyes, his rugged laugh, loving him from afar, as he continues to shut me out, and torture himself. But I’ve continued to only see him. No one else has even registered. but now this!  A blonde-haired, sapphire-eyed supernova that just obliterated my entire universe.

I throw an arm over my eyes, groaning. The scent of jasmine and citrus seems to linger in the air, a cruel trick of my mind. I can still taste her on my lips, a sweet, addictive flavour that makes my mouth water. I squeeze my eyes shut, and the image is right there, burned onto the backs of my eyelids: Zahra, arching her back, her small, perfect breasts offered to me, her pink nipples hard and begging for my mouth. Moaning my name…

Goddess, the sound of my name on her lips. It wasn’t the shy, giggling tone I remember from years ago. It was low. Husky. A sound of pure, unadulterated want. Sexy as fuck.

I sit up, the movement abrupt. The mess on my stomach is cold and uncomfortable. I need a shower. I need to scrub this entire fucking incident from my skin. I swing my legs over the side of the bed, my body still humming with the aftershocks of a climax that felt too real to be a dream.

I wash myself, my body still overly sensitive, those images still swirling in my mind. As I re-enter my room. My phone alarm starts blaring, and I hurry to turn it off. 5.30 am. We’re leaving in half an hour for the graduation. It’s a three-hour drive, and we want to be early enough to get good seats. I grab a white fitted shirt, and my navy chino’s, and put them on, pull out my brown deck shoes, and matching belt. Then my navy blazer before I head out the door. I grab a protein shake and banana in the kitchen, I can hear the others in the shower in their rooms, and wait for the guys in here. I have no desire to head down stairs and see if Helena is awake yet.

Zach appears first, dressed smartly in navy suit pants, white shirt and tie, no jacket. Oscar is next, similar to me, shirt and chino’s, no tie and no jacket. And Eliot when he appears is in stone chinos, a navy shirt, no jacket.

We head out, keeping quiet given the early hour, the girls are all going back to sleep, and will also probably be avoiding Helena.

In the main kitchen mums packing up a large cooler as we head in, and Oscar strides over to lend a hand, mum smiles at him, as he takes over loading the packages on the side, into the bag.

Dad is filling a travel mug with coffee, and I decide I could do the same. So, I fill up one for each of us.  Just before 6. Max walks in through the back door. I sense him before the others notice. His scent driving me crazy, and now filling me with guilt, as well as the usual want.

He greets everyone in his quiet way, and follows us though the main house towards the basement garage. We all pile into my SUV. Zach riding shot gun, and the other three squashed into the back.

Mum and dad are in dads Audi, and he heads out of the garage before us leading the way.

The drive helps to distract me from my thoughts slightly, but unfortunately every time I check my rear-view mirror, I can see Max’s annoyingly gorgeous face. And it makes me blush each and every time. I fucking hope no one notices.  Along the way, Oscar hands out the packets mum packed up for us, inside each one is a large breakfast burrito, and I have three before I feel satisfied.

The guys are all on their phones, so I hope they don’t.