Chapter 5

Zahra's POV

After a shower I throw a few more things into my bag, then head to the dining room for lunch. Most of the third-years are already there, clustered at their usual tables. As always, they ignore me. Rafe at least glances up and gives me a quick, apologetic smile, but the others keep their eyes on their plates.

I load two chicken wraps and a handful of sweet potato fries, grab water, and take an empty table by the wall.

Eli drops onto the bench beside me without asking. He snags a fry from my tray. “Hi, babe.”

“Eli, I need to tell you something.”

“Huh?” He's looking around the room, barely listening.

“Edwardo asked me to—”

“Spit it out, babe. No one likes a girl who can’t string a sentence together.”

He says it flat, almost bored. There’s no warmth in it. Sometimes when he talks to me now, it feels like he’s repeating something he practiced in his head, like he’s role playing “boyfriend” and I’m just scenery.

Zanthe’s growl rolls through my mind, low and dangerous.

I keep my voice even. “He’s asked me to attend a training course this summer.”

Eli blinks, surprised for half a breath. “Really? Why? Do you need more help?”

He knows better than anyone that I am the best fighter in the academy. Pretending otherwise is one of his favourite games. Lately it’s not even teasing anymore. It feels like he needs me small. Like it offends him that I can outrun him, outfight him, outthink him. Like my strengths are insults.

“It’s a specialised course. He wants me back after graduation to train through the summer.” I wet my lips. “I won’t be able to visit your pack with you. I’m sorry.”

His face falls. “What do you mean? My mum’s been looking forward to meeting you.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I’ll miss my brother and his friends too. But this is a huge opportunity.”

His hand lands on my thigh and tightens. Hard. Pain sparks under his fingers. He’s done this before. The bruises always land where no one will see.

“You’d better not be pretending you’re training to get out of meeting my family.”

I grit my teeth. “Of course not. I’m giving up my first vacation in three years to train because Edwardo asked me to. Obviously, I’d rather visit with my friends and family, and yours, but he said this is a once-in-five-years chance and he personally recommended me, so—”

I stop. fucking idiot. I’ve said Too much.

His eyes darken. His grip turns bruising. “Please, Eli. You’re hurting me.”

Zanthe is pacing now, hackles up. 'Show him what happens to anyone who touches you like that.'

I could. I could break his wrist before he even knew I’d moved. But I’ve learned that if I fight back, he doesn’t stop. He escalates.

He squeezes again, and I flinch.

“Zahra.”

Anderson appears at our table. Eli’s hand drops away as if my skin burned him. Anderson tips me a quick smile. “Henry told me you’re joining us this summer. I’m glad. It’s going to be amazing!" he nods at me, smiling and then heads off to the instructor’s table. 

“So it’s a real course,” Eli says, tone shifting, “but with Anderson and Henry? How come you got invited?” There’s an edge in his voice I don’t like. Lately everything turns to suspicion. Every male is a threat. Every glance I get is betrayal. He talks like I’m property that other men are trying to poach.

“I don’t know.” I stand before he can reach for me again. “I need to make sure I’ve got everything ready for graduation tomorrow. I’ll see you later.”

I pick up my tray. As I turn, the look on his face is ugly enough to curdle milk.

'Zahra, leave that bastard. He is not good enough for you. And I hate it when he touches you like that.'

I sigh through my nose and keep walking. Part of me knows she’s right. The rest of me clings to the facts I keep repeating: he says he loves me. He stayed when everyone else drifted away. He stayed. Even when Tobias stopped visiting. Even when Nicholas’ check-ins got less and less. Even when everyone who said they’d look after me decided I’d be fine on my own.

Eli stayed. So, he must care. Right? Everyone else, who promised to be here stopped coming. At times I feel so lonely it hurts. I miss my family. My friends. Zach and the guys won’t be home while I’m back. No one will even be at my graduation. Jameson arranged a car to take me to Crescent Vale and back because I cannot message anyone to tell them I’m going. No one knows.

I don’t have training this afternoon. The other third-years have a sparring session with Maddox, but my only regular opponents are Anderson and Henry, and Edwardo trains me himself. They’re all tied up, which means I get dead space on my schedule more often than the other cadets. Usually I lift, run, or hammer through Uni work, but now my degree is finished I have way more free time than I know what to do with.

I open my wardrobe and pull out one of the dresses Luna Alison bought me when I started here. It’s navy, mid-length, with a high neckline and gentle ruching over a fitted bodice. Short flutter sleeves with a matching ruffle. A belt that snatches my waist, and an A-line skirt that falls to mid-calf. The lace overlay is delicate and light over a solid navy lining. It’s stunning and sophisticated, and most importantly it actually fits my new physique. The rest of the dresses are too tight everywhere now that I’ve grown and generally bulked up. I set it out with my brown leather heeled sandals, at least my feet haven't outgrown those.

I hang the dress where I can see it, checking if it needs an iron, then finish packing. I don’t need much; I won’t be home long. Still, I add a couple of decent outfits and more training gear for this mysterious course. I empty half my bag, then shove in extra workout clothes, roll my leggings tight, and zip my toiletries pouch on top.

Then I take a shower, shave my legs and armpits, wash and deep-condition my hair. My hair is almost to my waist now and badly needs a cut when I’m back at Blood Moon. I towel it out, braid it loose, then tug on cargo pants and a clean T-shirt.

A knock rattles the door.