Ava There’s only one word I can use to describe the sinking feeling that settles in the pit of my stomach, twisting in my gut, sharp and unrelenting, as it grips tighter around the muscle before releasing it and finding its way upwards to my chest where it sinks it’s vicious claws into the beating organ that resides behind my ribcage. Dread. Dread is the only word I can use to describe the feeling that surges through me at the sight of Nikolai leaning against a black BMW in my school's parking lot. One of his hands is shoved into the pockets of the dark leather jacket he's wearing, the other loosely holding a cigarette. He takes a drag from it, and I watch as faint puffs of grey smoke curl upwards before hitting the dark lenses of the sunglasses on his face and disappearing into the afternoon air. Dissipating like a ghost around him. He is wearing a fitted white dress shirt with the sleeves casually rolled up to just below his elbows, showcasing his forearms and tattoos for an
Ava “Are you out of your mind!?” I screech, slamming my fist down repeatedly against Nikolai's back. He makes no effort to dignify my outburst with a response other than the low grunt that escapes him and continues marching down the parking lot towards his car. A small crowd has slowly started to form with people murmuring and exchanging glances as I dangle from my husband's shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Unfortunately, the growing crowd does little to sway my husband, and he continues to ignore the curious looks from the strangers around us, moving with calm, unhurried steps. His hold around the back of my thighs is the only thing anchoring me to him and my cheeks burn with a mixture of embarrassment and frustration at the position I'm in. It's official, today is officially the worst day of my life. Not only am I being hurled around by Nikolai on his shoulder, but, everyone can see it happening, and no one is doing anything to help me. “Put me down you pompous ass-” my
Ava I can’t sleep. It’s currently twelve thirty am, and so far, I think I've developed permanent back pain from all the tossing and turning I've been doing. I spent the last hour listening to a pretty interesting ASMR playlist, but as usual, the internet lied, and the hour of soft tapping and nail scratching did nothing to cure my insomnia. After Nikolai and I got home, I’d spent the rest of my day with Kat who spent half the time we were together chastising me for leaving without telling her and the other half asking for details about how I spent my day. After dinner, I came up to my room and called Cara. She picked up on the second ring and asked if I was okay to which I replied yes. We spent the next thirty minutes catching up, and she told me how her car broke down before she could reach home, but luckily for her, Mark, a boy from our sculpture class, apparently saw her struggling and decided to offer her a lift. She seemed oddly excited about receiving help from the mysterio
AVA “Your canvas is blank” Cara says, peeking over my shoulder, her eyes narrowed as she stares at the wide expanse of white space, untouched by the dripping paintbrush in my hands. I let out a sigh, a long shallow breath breaking past my lips. At the beginning of class, Mr Bennett, our painting instructor, scribbled down a prompt for all of us in class to follow and explained that he expected us to let out our creativity following what was written. I, of course, couldn't have been more thrilled. The past few days had been hectic, and I'd longed for an outlet, and this was the perfect opportunity. Or so I thought. It's been almost an hour since class started and while everyone seems to be enthralled in their work, I've spent my time glancing between my canvas and the prompt. Serenity and Calmness. I almost laughed when I first saw it. Nothing about my life in the last two weeks has been either calm or serene so how the hell am I supposed to craft a masterpiece out of somethi
Ava I stare at the rows of glittering diamond and gleaming gold laid out in front of us in neat rows behind velvet-lined show glasses stretched across the room, each showcasing a set of glittering pieces. Each cut diamond and precious gemstone seems to capture the light in the room, refracting it in different directions until all I can see are the flashes of brilliance shimmering in the air. Nikolai brought me to a jewellery store. But not just any jewellery store. No, he brought me to the biggest one in the city. Éclat was known around Chicago for its unrivalled collection of diamonds and gemstones from all around the world. Each piece has been carefully curated by different masters of the craft, from renowned gemologists to expert artisans. It's the kind of place that only caters to the elite and the only place in the city where each piece was worthy enough to be a statement. Around us, only a handful of people browse quietly, moving from one display to the other with t
Ava I dig the tip of my fingernails into my palm as I glare at my husband, waiting for him to answer my question. The silence in the car is thick and it stretches to the point that it almost feels suffocating. Quite frankly I don't think I’ll be able to keep the anger burning in my chest from spilling much longer. Outside Benjamin casually leans against the hood of the car, his arms folded across his chest as he stares into the distance. He’s been standing there for the last five minutes, ever since I politely asked him to get out of the car while I had a conversation with my husband. A husband who was quite literally getting on my last nerves with the whole silence thing he was going for instead of providing me with answers. The parking lot is filled with people moving in and out of the airport with their luggage in tow. Nearby, a group of travellers rushed past, dragging their luggage behind them and happily laughing at something one of their members had said. Their happy
Nikolai I should have known something was wrong the moment we boarded my private jet and I felt Ava stiffen beside me. “What's wrong?” I ask when I hear mumbling something under her breath I can't quite make out. She bites the inside of her cheek, turning to me. “I may have forgotten to mention that I'm kinda, sorta, afraid of flying.” She replies, forcing out a laugh. I stare at her, waiting for her to tell me that she's joking, but her lips remain pressed together as she grips the armrest tightly, holding on to it like it's her lifeline. Of course, she's afraid of flying. Her body trembles and she bites down on her lower lips once we reach the runway. She looks like she's seconds away from throwing up and for the sake of the people responsible for cleaning this jet, I hope she doesn't. “Why didn't you tell me?” I ask and she regards me briefly, her body still trembling. “I wasn't sure how you'd going to react.” She mutters. My stomach twists as the weight of her words
AVA After over ten hours of being trapped in a plane, I can't help but breathe a sigh of relief when the plane finally touches down. The pilot's voice comes through, informing us that we've landed, and the moment the wheels of the plane hit the tarmac, I feel the heavy anxiety that had wrapped my mind during the flight slowly begin to unravel. I’d barely gotten any sleep throughout the flight and since Nikolai was my only source of distraction whenever the plane would stutter or shake, neither had he. “Let’s go” Nikolai whispers gently, taking my hand in his. I nod, following his lead and allow myself to relish the feeling of his callous fingertips against my palm as he leads us out of the plane. The moment my feet touch solid ground again, I'm immediately consumed with a sense of relief and gratitude. I turn to Nikolai, offering him a small smile, which he returns with a gentle squeeze of my hand. Never have I ever been as grateful for the feeling of the earth beneath my fee
NikolaiNo words. Absolutely, none can describe how perfect my wife looks above me.She looks just like a dream. Straight out of wonderland and the sight is one I commit to memory.Brown curls brush against her shoulder, framing a face that can bring any man to his knees. Desire burns brightly in her eyes and I grip her hips tighter because it is all I can do to keep from pushing her into the mattress and fucking her till I am all she can feel for days.The electricity between us is impossible to ignore. I want to feel her, taste her. To hell with the damn documentary. Who needs it when I have my perfect wife sitting in my lap begging to touch me?I sweep my thumb over her plump bottom lip and her tongue peeks out, brushing against the pad. A deep groan leaves me as I push it past her lips and she takes my thumb into her mouth in one simple drag, sucking it, and that's all it takes for my brain to short-circuit.My sanity is hanging by a thread, a thread almost as thin as the thong I
Ava"My exhibition is coming up in a few days" I tell Nikolai a few days later when we're cuddled up under the sheets watching ... well, I'm not exactly sure what we're watching.It was Nikolai's turn to pick a movie for movie night and he'd chosen a documentary about how wolves communicated in the wild. And so far, I wasn't the biggest fan.The narrator's voice reminded me of a bored substitute teacher trying to explain quantum physics to a room full of toddlers. Monotone, dry, and somehow both sleepy and aggressive at the same time.Nikolai, on the other hand, seemed totally and completely invested in every word he had to say, so I was willing to put up with it because, honestly, it was kind of cute seeing him so focused like this. I don't think I've seen him invested in a lot of things.He hums in response, fingers lazily stroking my spine. “Friday, right? The one your school’s hosting?”I nod, "Mhmmm. It's my final semester showcase and it's kind of a big deal. Everyone's going
AvaNikolai looks surprised by my presence when he sees me. I stay by the entrance of the library back room, unmoving, my hands limp at my side while I take in the scene before me.Ivan left me here with a simple tap on my shoulder after telling me not to be too surprised by what I see when I enter the backroom and to be patient with him no matter what he says because he is not going to want to see me."I think I can handle him", I'd said, to which Ivan simply shrugged and walked away.To be honest, I hadn't fully grasped what he meant by any of the things he said, but now, as I stare at the sight before me, I understand completely why he thought a warning was necessary before I stepped in. This place is as big as Nikolai's office, maybe bigger. The entire room is filled with boxes, and from the looks of things, I'd say that this place is some sort of storage unit. The air smells like aged scotch mixed with dust but not to the point that it's suffocating. An empty bottle lies a few f
AvaDuring the next couple of days, Nikolai and I somehow fall into a routine, finding a balance despite everything else.In the mornings, He gets up first while I pretend to be asleep (well, mostly pretend) until he comes out of the bathroom, freshly showered with water dripping from his hair everywhere.He'd get dressed for work while I relished the feeling of the morning sun on my face for only a second before I felt his presence and kiss on my cheek, followed by whispered words in Russian that I do not understand but know they mean well.When he leaves, it's my turn to get ready. I start by getting up from bed and heading over to the bathroom where I shower and brush my teeth, followed by the occasional humming of a tune or two. When I'm finished with my shower I get dressed in either my painting clothes or casual loose attire. My exhibit is coming up soon and I seem to be spending most of my time either in the studio at home or with Professor Bennett at school, setting up for
Hi everyone it has come to my attention that I have never really posted an updating schedule for this book. Now when I first started this book, I used to update everyday. That was because my schedule was more free back then as compared to now. I have a full time job and a part time job in addition to writing and I also attend classes most days during the week. I love writing and because this book has a special place in my heart since it is my first book chapters have been limited to 4 times a week. This will help me give you quality chapters and at the same time keep me from burning out. Of course there will be times where my week will be free and I'll be able to update five or even six times in a week. Thank you for understanding and I'm always available to answer any of your questions ❤️
AvaI don't know what I expect Nikolai's reaction to be after I drop that little piece of information. Anger perhaps. Maybe disappointment. Maybe even both.My hands are still looped around his neck. I'm still touching him, so I guess maybe that's a good sign that he doesn't feel either of the emotions I previously thought he might.Realising I'd spoken too soon, he reaches up and unloops my arms from around his neck, slowly sliding them down until they are by my side and the illusion of touching him is no longer within reach, replaced now by his strong hold around my wrists.“Nikolai…” I start to say. To apologise for not telling him but he stops the words from completely spilling from my lips with a simple squeeze of my wrists.“How long have you known?”It's impossible for me to guess what's going on in his mind at this point. His tone doesn't hold any malice or a trace of anger, just an irrefutable calm laced with a bit of surprise and curiosity.“A while,”He doesn't look convinc
NikolaiMy wife steps out of the shower as soon as I shut the door. She's wet but not in the way I'd like. Not in the way I've thought about for the last nine hours. Tiny droplets glisten her skin, drawing me to the way they fall to the floor despite the towel she currently has wrapped around her body like a fucking armour."Solnyshko..."She gasps before the name is fully out of my lips, spinning around. She sucks in a ragged breath when she sees me. Those big, beautiful brown eyes of hers are wide open, scanning me from head to toe like she can't believe I'm standing in front of her while her fingers clutch tightly to the edge of the plush fabric.“You're back," She breathes, surprised.It's only three o'clock, and considering I stated in my note that I'd be back later in the evening, I can guess why she hadn't expected me to be back so soon.Truth be told, I'm not supposed to be back so early but there's only so long a man can go without seeing his wife, and not want to put a bulle
TRIGGER WARNING: MENTION OF SEXUAL ABUSE APPEARS IN THIS CHAPTER. TREAD CAUTIOUSLY OR SKIP THIS CHAPTER ALTOGETHER ❤️ YOUR MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS.
Ava“So let me get this straight,” Kat says for the second time in the last fifteen minutes. We were currently sprawled out on the floor of the new nursery she and Ivan were still in the process of setting up, taking a break before we started arranging the things we got from the store.Two cups of caramel latte res between us, along with one blueberry muffin and a bag of chocolate chip cookies Kat swore she'd been craving since she woke up and would literally die if she didn't have.“You saw your father yesterday, did not tell Nikolai about it even though you knew that going to meet him alone was a stupid idea, but then Nikolai shows up, shoots your father, takes you home, and you both confess your undying love for one another and then you have mind-blowing sex.” Nodding, I take about of my muffin and let out an approving sound at the taste, “That seems about right." I say, "Except for the part where we confessed our undying love for each other.”"You should have. You care about him.