AvaI wake up to the feeling of my husband's lips dotting wet kisses across my cheeks, down the column of my neck to the base of my throat and then lower.I stir in the bed, my eyes still closed, when I feel his smile against my skin. "I know you're awake, Solnyshko" Nikolai's deep, husky morning voice rumbles against my collarbone, sending goosebumps erupting all over my skin. He sounds so good for someone who just woke up."Open those pretty eyes for me"He drops another kiss on my collarbone, following it with a quick nip. I wince, involuntarily arching towards him. My eyes snap open and I glance down at the head of dark curls brushing lightly against my chest.Nikolai lifts his head, his piercing green eyes colliding with mine. His lips stretch into a slow, lazy smirk as he looks at me, and I can feel the organ in my chest go into partial shock from how gorgeous my husband looks at the moment. A small teasing glint sparks in his eyes when he sees me watching him and my body ten
Ava."Are you going to the studio?" Nikolai asks me once I sling my backpack over my shoulder. I'm now fully dressed and trying to ignore the lingering heat on my skin from what happened barely thirty minutes ago between us. After running me a bath, Nikolai asked to join me to which I declined with a firm no. When he realised there was no shaking my conviction, he reluctantly left the bathroom with a small pout, eventually giving me the space I required to clean up.After my bath, he hopped into the bathroom while I got dressed. Since it was a Saturday, I didn't have any classes today, but the deadline for my art project was drawing fast, and I was still a thousand steps away from starting it, not to talk of finishing it. I had to be having some type of artistic block. I mean, what else would you call me just staring at my canvas for three solid hours before deciding that the line I sketched wasn't straight enough and redoing the whole thing.I've been going to the studio every day
Ava"You look different"Cara announces when we meet up later at one of the cafés around campus. The place is buzzing with students even though it's a Saturday and the campus is less crowded than usual.I glance up from the heart shaped design on my latte, shooting her a puzzled look."Different how?"She shrugs, "Just different"That's strange. I hadn't done anything peculiar to up my style this morning. My hair was in a loose ponytail and the dress I wore to the studio today was less than flattering on my figure. It had to be since I knew that it'd be coated in paint whenever I decided to leave the studio today. Which was thirty minutes ago when Cara called to ask if I was free for lattes.Cara tilts her head, deliberately trailing her gaze up and down my body. She looks at me the way a scientist would look at an equation they can't solve, stern and focused and I try not to let it unnerve me more than it already does.I lift the latte to my lips, taking a sip. The heavy creamy textu
Ava"I want to show you something," Nikolai tells me when I step into the house after a very long day of classes. I'm tired and my feet ache from shuffling between one lecture hall to the other in hopes of learning something relating to the path I chose to walk in life but am now violently cursing myself from doing.Kira throws me a toothy grin from over her shoulder as she's escorted back to her room by Lydia, her nanny, a grey-haired Russian woman with manners as stiff as a stick. She smiles at me politely as she ushers the little girl who'd tumbled into my legs the moment she saw me walk through the door, her tiny fists clutching the fabric of my skirt tightly like she couldn't let go.It took a while for her to notice me when I first came in, but when she did, she smiled at me so brightly from her father's lap that my heart stopped right there in my chest. Is this what it feels like to be missed?I lift a brow at Nikolai clearly confused at what he needs to show me. Today he's dr
AvaMy phone buzzes in my pants as soon as I step out of my art history test on Wednesday. I reach for it, my pulse thrumming when I see the unknown number flashing across the screen. I hesitate for only a second before answering, my hand fisting the phone tightly."Hello?" "How are you, Ava?"That voice. I knew that voice. I grew up with that voice."Aaron?""The one and only"It's meant to come off as playful but there's a restrained edge to it. He sounds tired somehow and nothing like the boy I grew up with.Whereas that voice was lighter and always playful, this voice sounded older, wearier—like life had taken its toll on him in ways I would never understand.Why was he calling me? Now of all times. He abandoned me and now he's calling me like everything is just peachy between us when it's not. He knows it's not.I open my mouth to tell him he's an asshole for ignoring me for months and then trying to joke it off like nothing happene
AvaThe Uber rolls to a stop in front of a barely standing building. The middle-aged driver glances at me through the rearview mirror, his brows pinching together. I ignore the look he gives me and shove a few bills into his hand before stepping out.The address Aaron sends me leads me to the industrial side of Chicago, where rusting metal fences and abandoned buildings line the quiet streets. Why the hell did he want to meet up in a place like this? The moment I shut the door, the Uber peels away, the roar of the engine fading into the distance, leaving me with nothing but a puff of engine smoke and dust.Coming to an abandoned building in the middle of nowhere simply because my brother preferred it over coffee in a cafe like normal people should certainly count as my top ten biggest mistakes.My gaze scans the area, and so far, it seems safe and normal.Slipping away from Benjamin had proven difficult. I'd asked him to stop at a random art store, claiming I needed to get some art
Ava"She was pregnant Ava"Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant.The word repeats, over and over again in my brain like an endless chant.My mum...Our mum, was pregnant before she married our... no, my father.Swallowing, I straighten in the log, turning to face my brother. Of all the things I expected him to say, this did not make the top ten. Or hundred. Or thousand.I blink at him, counting down the seconds until he says, gotcha like he did when we were children, and he told me that he saw a ghost in our backyard, and I believed him. But the punchline never comes. “is this some kind of joke?" I ask. I'm surprised at how steady my voice comes out because, on the inside, my mind is racing. He has to be wrong; he just has to be because that would mean....I stare him straight in his eyes and the look I find there tells me that he won't say the words I'm so desperate for him to even if I were to kneel and beg him within an inch of my life.He wouldn't lie to me.Aaron remains comple
AvaThree days.That's how long it's been since my brother contacted me. Three days is also how long it's been since I lied to Nikolai by telling him that I got lost in the art store when I got home and found him looking like he had lost his mind without me. Two days is how long it takes for me to try my brother's phone again. It goes straight to voicemail.I still haven't fully been able to wrap my head around everything Aaron told me. Learning that we no longer shared the same father, and we apparently never did, to begin with, felt like a missile launched in the middle of the desert, unexpected and unpredictable. And as if that wasn't enough, his biological father was none other than Raicán O'Sullivan, the former head of the Irish mafia who wanted Aaron to take his place, and what's worse is that my brother was actually considering joining the Irish mafia as their new leader.It all felt so... jarring. Growing up with Aaron I'd never once considered that he was unhappy with his l
AvaHe wasn't wearing a condom. I let him inside me without wearing a condom. Panic flares in my chest, and my body goes completely motionless on top of him.Fuck.Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.How could I have been so caught up in what we were doing that I didn't even notice until he mentioned it?"Ava" My name on his lips, is firm yet soothing. "You're shaking."Am I?I hadn't noticed."I'm not on birth control. I haven't been on it since I was sixteen."My gaze drops to where we're connected, and a shiver sweeps through me."Shit," He grinds out harshly, flexing his hand around my hips. "Are you okay with this? Do you want me to get a condom?"Did I?My pussy flutters and I let out a small whimper. I'm almost all the way around him. I could move and have him go fetch a condom. But I don't.Because I don't want to.I don't want anything between us.I only want him.I sink further. His hold on my hips tightens and a low hiss drags straight from inside him."Ava baby, I do not think I ca
NikolaiNo words. Absolutely, none can describe how perfect my wife looks above me.She looks just like a dream. Straight out of wonderland and the sight is one I commit to memory.Brown curls brush against her shoulder, framing a face that can bring any man to his knees. Desire burns brightly in her eyes and I grip her hips tighter because it is all I can do to keep from pushing her into the mattress and fucking her till I am all she can feel for days.The electricity between us is impossible to ignore. I want to feel her, taste her. To hell with the damn documentary. Who needs it when I have my perfect wife sitting in my lap begging to touch me?I sweep my thumb over her plump bottom lip and her tongue peeks out, brushing against the pad. A deep groan leaves me as I push it past her lips and she takes my thumb into her mouth in one simple drag, sucking it, and that's all it takes for my brain to short-circuit.My sanity is hanging by a thread, a thread almost as thin as the thong I
Ava"My exhibition is coming up in a few days" I tell Nikolai a few days later when we're cuddled up under the sheets watching ... well, I'm not exactly sure what we're watching.It was Nikolai's turn to pick a movie for movie night and he'd chosen a documentary about how wolves communicated in the wild. And so far, I wasn't the biggest fan.The narrator's voice reminded me of a bored substitute teacher trying to explain quantum physics to a room full of toddlers. Monotone, dry, and somehow both sleepy and aggressive at the same time.Nikolai, on the other hand, seemed totally and completely invested in every word he had to say, so I was willing to put up with it because, honestly, it was kind of cute seeing him so focused like this. I don't think I've seen him invested in a lot of things.He hums in response, fingers lazily stroking my spine. “Friday, right? The one your school’s hosting?”I nod, "Mhmmm. It's my final semester showcase and it's kind of a big deal. Everyone's going
AvaNikolai looks surprised by my presence when he sees me. I stay by the entrance of the library back room, unmoving, my hands limp at my side while I take in the scene before me.Ivan left me here with a simple tap on my shoulder after telling me not to be too surprised by what I see when I enter the backroom and to be patient with him no matter what he says because he is not going to want to see me."I think I can handle him", I'd said, to which Ivan simply shrugged and walked away.To be honest, I hadn't fully grasped what he meant by any of the things he said, but now, as I stare at the sight before me, I understand completely why he thought a warning was necessary before I stepped in. This place is as big as Nikolai's office, maybe bigger. The entire room is filled with boxes, and from the looks of things, I'd say that this place is some sort of storage unit. The air smells like aged scotch mixed with dust but not to the point that it's suffocating. An empty bottle lies a few f
AvaDuring the next couple of days, Nikolai and I somehow fall into a routine, finding a balance despite everything else.In the mornings, He gets up first while I pretend to be asleep (well, mostly pretend) until he comes out of the bathroom, freshly showered with water dripping from his hair everywhere.He'd get dressed for work while I relished the feeling of the morning sun on my face for only a second before I felt his presence and kiss on my cheek, followed by whispered words in Russian that I do not understand but know they mean well.When he leaves, it's my turn to get ready. I start by getting up from bed and heading over to the bathroom where I shower and brush my teeth, followed by the occasional humming of a tune or two. When I'm finished with my shower I get dressed in either my painting clothes or casual loose attire. My exhibit is coming up soon and I seem to be spending most of my time either in the studio at home or with Professor Bennett at school, setting up for
Hi everyone it has come to my attention that I have never really posted an updating schedule for this book. Now when I first started this book, I used to update everyday. That was because my schedule was more free back then as compared to now. I have a full time job and a part time job in addition to writing and I also attend classes most days during the week. I love writing and because this book has a special place in my heart since it is my first book chapters have been limited to 4 times a week. This will help me give you quality chapters and at the same time keep me from burning out. Of course there will be times where my week will be free and I'll be able to update five or even six times in a week. Thank you for understanding and I'm always available to answer any of your questions ❤️
AvaI don't know what I expect Nikolai's reaction to be after I drop that little piece of information. Anger perhaps. Maybe disappointment. Maybe even both.My hands are still looped around his neck. I'm still touching him, so I guess maybe that's a good sign that he doesn't feel either of the emotions I previously thought he might.Realising I'd spoken too soon, he reaches up and unloops my arms from around his neck, slowly sliding them down until they are by my side and the illusion of touching him is no longer within reach, replaced now by his strong hold around my wrists.“Nikolai…” I start to say. To apologise for not telling him but he stops the words from completely spilling from my lips with a simple squeeze of my wrists.“How long have you known?”It's impossible for me to guess what's going on in his mind at this point. His tone doesn't hold any malice or a trace of anger, just an irrefutable calm laced with a bit of surprise and curiosity.“A while,”He doesn't look convinc
NikolaiMy wife steps out of the shower as soon as I shut the door. She's wet but not in the way I'd like. Not in the way I've thought about for the last nine hours. Tiny droplets glisten her skin, drawing me to the way they fall to the floor despite the towel she currently has wrapped around her body like a fucking armour."Solnyshko..."She gasps before the name is fully out of my lips, spinning around. She sucks in a ragged breath when she sees me. Those big, beautiful brown eyes of hers are wide open, scanning me from head to toe like she can't believe I'm standing in front of her while her fingers clutch tightly to the edge of the plush fabric.“You're back," She breathes, surprised.It's only three o'clock, and considering I stated in my note that I'd be back later in the evening, I can guess why she hadn't expected me to be back so soon.Truth be told, I'm not supposed to be back so early but there's only so long a man can go without seeing his wife, and not want to put a bulle
TRIGGER WARNING: MENTION OF SEXUAL ABUSE APPEARS IN THIS CHAPTER. TREAD CAUTIOUSLY OR SKIP THIS CHAPTER ALTOGETHER ❤️ YOUR MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS.