33. Blue 1

Blue

   

   Watching him from across street, he pushes through the doorway of our apartment, swiftly picks me up, and takes me to his bed, tossing me on the mattress. But not before I notice the scraps of papers that make up our relationship pinned back on the fridge.  

I loved this man so much, you'd think this was a real relationship.

      

His chest moves in relief as if seeing me in his house and on his bed has brought him peace. "Right where you belong." His gaze scans the length of me. "Thank you." 

      

"For what?" 

      

"For everything. For tonight. I think I've always wanted to have the team over, to have people over, but it scared me. To let people into my life has scared me." Leisurely, he begins to unbutton his shirt, standing over me. "But you, having you here, I want everyone to see how lucky I am to have you in my home." 

      

While on my back, I watch Ryan hang his shirt in the closet. I thought about this countless times, knowing he wouldn't be able to undress without putting every little thing where it belongs, but understanding why he's like this gives me a whole new appreciation to his cleanliness. 

      

The view isn't half bad either. All this does is give me more time to admire his rippling chest and lean, muscular arms.

      

He's so beautiful and protective and hardworking. How someone didn't appreciate him is beyond me. 

      

Ryan returns, crawling onto the mattress like a starved man. His hands push my hair away from my face, palms to my temples. "So, thank you, Blue." 

      

My legs open around him without hesitation as I sling my arms over his shoulders. "You're welcome."

      

"Now, please, for the love of God, kiss me." 

      

"Are you sure? Because the other night when we...well, we didn't kiss." 

      

His eyes bounce away from mine as he hovers over me. "That's because I didn't know what you wanted. I didn't know if you just wanted to get off or if you wanted me." 

      

My brows pinch together. How did I not catch this before? How did I not realize he needs to be told how wanted he is? When someone else pretends to love you, pretends to want you, of course you need reassurance.  

      

Tugging his chin, I force eye contact. "I want you, Ryan. I've always wanted you, but I didn't know I could be so lucky to have you." 

      

That stunning smile is back. "Then kiss me, Blue." 

      

So, I do, soft and leisurely, nails raking over his neck. He cups my face, fingers threaded into my hair as we take our time more than we ever have before. For the first time, there's not a question whether this is real. I know it is. 

      

But I ask anyway.

     

"Are you just pretending?" 

      

He pulls away, laughing deep and full. "I stopped pretending a long time ago, Blue." 

      

"I...I don't want this if I'm just a convenience. You know, because I live here."

      

Call me insecure, but I spent far too long in a relationship that was convenient and comfortable, and I refuse to do it again.

      

Eyes searching, they soften as he watches me. "I mean this in the nicest way possible, but Blue, you're the most inconvenient thing that's ever happened to me." 

      

My heart flutters, words sticking in my throat.

      

"If I was looking for convenience, I wouldn't have gone years without touching a woman. Waking up and thinking of you, falling asleep and wishing you were there, it's been distracting, tiresome, and goddamn infuriating, but I wouldn't give you up for the world."

He bends down to kiss the smile off my lips. Mouths molding, our tongues tangle, my hands roam and my legs tighten around his waist. He keeps me still with a hand cupping my cheek while pulling my bottom lip between his teeth. 

      

The way he kisses drives me feral. I couldn't tell you the last time I made out with someone but rolling around in bed with Ryan Shay has me feeling like a teenage girl who has finally gotten her first kiss. 

      

In some ways, this is a first. I've never been seen the way Ryan sees me. I've never been appreciated the way his eyes worship me. I've never been encouraged to be myself the way Ryan praises me to be.

      

"What do you want, Blue?" His voice is a low husk, but without pressing more, I know what he's referring to. Our bodies grinding and writhing into each other know too.

      

I want him to fuck me. I can feel the bulge of his erection sliding against my leg, looking for friction. I want him inside of me, but more than anything, after last night, I'd rather we move at a pace that makes him realize I'm not her. 

      

"I want you to set the pace." 

     

He stills, brows furrowing before he drops his head to my chest and kisses me there. His fingers intertwine with mine, pushing my hands above my head and into the mattress as his body rolls against me. He continues down my stomach, placing lingering kisses over my dress, all the while pulling the fabric up. 

      

Ryan's injured leg is unbent as it hangs off the mattress, using his other to support his weight. Hands hook under my thighs, keeping me steady while also spreading me wider. 

Thankfully he was healing from that nasty accident experience. And the wounds it left behind too.

      

"You have no idea, Blue." Another worshiping kiss on my covered stomach. "The power you have over me." 

      

My back arches, squirming beneath his body as he lifts my dress up and over my ass. 

      

"All I can think about is seeing you smile and trying to be the reason you are." This time his warm mouth meets the soft flesh above my panties. "Trying to water those goddamn flowers just enough so I can watch your face light up when you get home." He bites the edge of my thong, snapping it against my skin. "Making you come just to hear my name dripping from that smart mouth of yours."

Ryan places a deep kiss on the center of my pussy. A groan rumbles in his throat as he inhales my scent, lingering his face in my slit. 

      

Pushing my hips into him, I can't help but seek more friction. 

      

"You're soaked, Blue. Does my smart girl like being told how all-consuming she is?" 

      

My thighs tighten around him, unable to use words to articulate just how much I like his doting.

      

"Words, Blue."

     

"Yes," I breathe out. "I do." 

      

Not that I want to think about the man before him, but I was with that guy for six years and the only time he ate me out is when I begged him to. Apparently in his mind, a blow job doesn't require reciprocation. I quickly gave up on asking. He was never very good at it anyway, and I sure as hell never came from his mouth. 

      

Ryan, on the other hand, has his face enthusiastically pressed between my legs, as if he could spend the entire night down there and be happy.

      

I hope he does.

      

"Ry, do you like doing that?"

      

"Do I like eating pussy?" His tongue slides against the length of me, the fabric of my underwear creating a delicious friction against my clit. "What if I told you that every morning we had breakfast together, I thought about throwing you on the kitchen island and making a meal out of you instead? Or that every time you wore one of your pretty dresses, I was dreaming about lifting the hem over my head, falling to my knees, and tasting my roommate's perfect little cunt." Sitting up, he peels the corners of my panties down my legs, exhaling an appreciative breath when his attention zeros in on my naked center. 

"So, sure, you could say I like eating pussy, but that's not what you're really asking, is it? Ask me the real question, Blue. You want to know if I like eating yours."

      

God, his mouth. Dirty talk does it for me regardless, but coming from Ryan, the man who only speaks when the words are needing to be heard, it hits differently.

      

"Ask me, Blue." His mouth hovers over me. "Or would my valedictorian like a hands-on lesson instead?" He places a soft, appreciative kiss on my bare clit. "A mouth-on lesson." 

      

A whimper creeps up my throat, seeing his head buried between my legs, his full lips shining with my arousal. 

      

He surrounds my bud, sucking it into his mouth, and instantly bucking me off the bed.

      

"Oh, fuck." I drop my head back into his pillows. 

      

Looking down, I watch his lips slide into a smile as his tongue darts out, tasting my sensitive skin with appreciative licks.

      

He's smiling. Smiling while going down on me. 

I moan. I cry. I'm entirely under this man's control because I'm fairly certain I'm having an out-of-body experience. 

      

Tilting me off the bed, his tongue forms a long, wet path from ass to clit. 

      

I jolt in surprise, but find myself loving the sensation, never once being tasted with such detail. "Fuck, Ryan." 

      

"Say it again."

     

"What?" 

      

"My name. Say it again. I want to hear it while my tongue is buried inside of you. I want you to remember you're mine. So, say my name again."  

      

Peering down, Ryan looks up at me, watching and waiting for my words, those hands I love so much hooked around my thighs. 

      

I sit up, bending my knees to pull my dress over my head, gaining his undivided attention. 

      

"Ryan," I draw out in as innocent a tone as I can manage. "I'm yours to do with as you please." Unhooking my bra, I drop it to the ground too. Slowly. Deliberately. "Use me however you please."

      "

You've got to be kidding me." His head falls in defeat, but not before those blue-green eyes darken to pools of navy. "You're going to make me come from humping the side of this bed and looking at you." 

     

I find his hips, grinding into the mattress and can't help but smile from that. 

     

Stroking his hair, I scrape my nails against his scalp. "Please make me come." 

      

"So polite tonight, baby." He kisses my inner thigh, working his way back down to my pussy. A single hand reaches up and squeezes my tit, rolling my nipple before his index and middle fingers dust my lower lip, asking for entrance. "Open your mouth for me and suck."

    

I take them in my mouth, sucking them as if they were a different part of his body. 

   

"Yes." Ryan's jaw slacks, watching me.

      

Rolling my tongue down the length of them, I twirl it around his fingertips, then suck them all the way until they touch the back of my throat.

      

"Goddamn," he exhales in admiration. "You should see the picture you painted in my head. You're going to look so pretty on your knees for me." He pulls his fingers from my mouth. "But first, lie down and come on my tongue like the obedient girl I know you are." 

As he pushes me back down to the mattress, his mouth finds me once again in sync with his wet fingers. It's the first time he's really touched me without my own fingers in the way, and the sensation is almost too much. He strokes me in tandem with his mouth before he slides them inside, curling forward and finding my G-spot without much effort.

      

I gasp when he strokes it at the perfect pace.

      

For a man who hasn't been with a woman in years, he sure as shit doesn't seem out of practice. 

      

"You're so fucking tight, Ind." He admires his own fingers pushing in and out of me. "So fucking perfect."

      

A rush of heat floods to my lower belly, my pussy fluttering. 

      

He feels incredible. Skilled. Beautiful between my legs and when his fingers slide inside and stroke my front wall once again, every muscle in my body contracts with my impending release. 

      

I'm half a second from coming when Ryan pulls away, his fingers slowing in speed and easing my orgasm off.

      

"Ryan," I whine. "No. No, don't stop." 

     

"Tell me you're not moving out."

      

"What?"

      

"You heard me. You want to come? Tell me you're not moving out." 

      

I writhe in aching need, trying to push my hips into his single finger as I search for my release. 

      

"Ryan, you need to ice your knee. Please make me come so I can take care of you." 

      

"Tell me you're not moving out and I'll do exactly that." 

      

Who am I kidding? I'm not going anywhere, especially now that I know how he looks between my thighs. How soft yet rough his tongue feels. This fake relationship failed woefully.

      

"Come on, Blue. Tell me what I need to hear." 

      

He blows a breath against my clit, bringing me closer once again.

      

"I'm..." I struggle to breathe, my orgasm lingering on the edge. "I'm not going anywhere." 

      

The bastard has the audacity to smirk.  

      

"Please," I beg.

      

"Is this how I keep you polite? Teasing you with an orgasm?"

      

"Shut up and make me come." 

      

His chest rumbles with a laugh before he adds a finger, sucks me into his mouth, and sends me free-falling into an orgasm-induced oblivion. 

      

It's the sound coming from him that does it for me. The laughter, the ease on his face. The handsome smile he wears that I didn't see much of when I first moved in. Seeing Ryan relaxed with me is what drops me over the edge.

      

His mouth works me through it as my thighs tighten around his cheeks, my back arching off the bed. He doesn't stop. He continues to lick me, taste me as if he's fully prepared to stay there all night. 

      

My body goes limp on the mattress, fully satisfied and sated. I can't help but smile when I think about the fact that just weeks ago, I thought my body was broken. It's sure as shit not broken, and it's not a distraction I needed, but it was him.

      

Ryan licks my arousal, tasting it from his lips with a proud smile and a slap of my ass. "My favorite kind of mess." 

      

"Physical touch," I exhale, somehow finding the strength to speak.

      

"What was that?"

"Physical touch. I think your love language might be physical touch."

     

He blows out a sexy laugh. "Yeah, baby, I think you might be right." 

God, he's beautiful!