Chapter 10: Pursue

Not expecting to see Thyago at the very moment, she thought that she was only daydreaming. She even felt Mackie hiddenly nudge her elbow to make her realized the Thyago she was seeing in front of her is not just an apparition.

"You guys need a lift?" He asked wearing a smile that made her heart went havoc. 

"U-Uhhh... No thanks, were actually waiting for Mackie's driver to fetch us up." She stated declining his offer.

If she was the old Bea, she won't let this opportunity slipped away but she had decided to end her foolishness over him, didn't she? She has been avoiding him for months now. Because if truths be told, Thyago will never like someone like her. He obviously likes Elena and there is nothing she can do to change that bitter truth. She will only hurt herself in the process if she pursues her attraction to him.

"Come on, I would love to drop you home. Besides, your house is just a few blocks away from my home." He insisted.

"Thanks, Thyago but I'm really fine riding at Mackie's car." She answered still. She noticed his face turned sad and baffled while staring at her.

"Are you mad at me, Bea?" He asked straight to the point. Is she not mistaken, it disappointment she was seeing written all over his face?

"W-What makes you think that way?" She said with forehead knotted trying to hide her feelings. The situation suddenly felt awkward because Mackie is just right beside her listening and watching them.

"It's kinda like you were avoiding me, you know...." His tone was low but enough for her to hear him clearly. The sulk and disappointment are obvious in his voice so she was taken aback and went silent for a moment.

"Come on Bea, please just let me take you home..." He said it more like in a pleading way that made her stunned for a moment.

"It's okay Bea. Go ahead." Mackie then stated. He gently nods at her as if telling her he understands her situation and even urging her to come with him.

She looked at her friend's eyes giving him a questioning look. Didn't he just tell her to move on and forget Thyago earlier? Why all of a sudden he was urging him to come with him now? Her silly friend just gave her a mischievous smile as an assurance.

"Really, Mackie?" She mouthed at him.

She gave him a meaningful stare asking him to save her in the situation but Mackie's eyes expressing a "give it a chance" sign of look which she wonder why her friend suddenly change his mind about Thyago.

"Seriously Bea, I'm fine. You can go with Thyago and I wouldn't mind..." Her friend added naughtily which finally melt her tiny little chance to decline Thyago's offer.

Unfortunately, she ended up riding in Thyago's car. Along the way, they were so silent and no one's attempting to make a conversation. She managed to stare through the window to lessen the awkwardness she felt upon the situation. Minutes later, she heard Thyago cleared her throat exaggeratedly that made her look his way.

"Now I caught your attention...." He said mischievously then laugh. A very awkward laugh.

Her eyes went to him while he was driving but decided to jerk her eyes away in the end. She had missed him that's the bitter fact behind all of these. He pulled out a long frustrated sigh as silence took over between them again...

"You're really mad at me, do you?" It's as if he couldn't stand their situation anymore, he then finally decided to break the silence between them.

"What made you think I'm mad? I'm not mad okay?" She uttered while her eyes are still outside the window scared he might see in her eyes that she was lying.

She knew she can't stare at him longer. Staring at him felt so overwhelming, enough for her to realize that someone like him will never like a simple and typical face like her.

"You changed. You are avoiding me all of a sudden. Don't try to deny it, Bea, because I can sense it. Tell me what's wrong? Did I do something to make you avoid me?" His voice seemed hurt and she was not sure if she was only imagining things or what.

It's not like you care, you stupid insensitive jerk!

She managed to keep her silence and not answer him. How would she tell him that she like him so bad and she was trying to avoid him because she knew he will never like her back the way she wants him to. How would she tell her reasons?

"Look, if there's something I did to make you mad and avoid me this way, I am really sorry. I really like you as a friend and I enjoyed your company. Please do not avoid me again, Bea. Can you forgive me whatever I've done wrong?" He said full of emotions. With that, her heart suddenly melted like an ice cream under the sunlight.

The pain and insecurities,  the decision to get over him and avoid him, and the choice of losing the battle towards winning his heart suddenly meltdown like a speck of dust in the wind. There's this adorable man she has seen in her entire life, asking her to forgive him and stop avoiding him? He's foolish and insensitive yes, but he's sweet and endearing she couldn't just take for granted his request.

Oh, this silly jerk...

"Why are you asking for forgiveness? You did nothing wrong." She said with a genuine smile now painted on her lips.

"Glad, you're now smiling. I missed that smile, you know." He stated smiling back. That made the remaining resentment she have for him meltdown and vanished away. Her smile widens even more. Ah, it felt so good to be with him again. To see him smile at her this way.

"You're not mad at me anymore?"

Oh damn, why he looked so cute and sweet?

"Nope." She answered popping the "p" that made him flash his pearly whites.

He continued driving and they've been silent for another couple of minutes until Thyago initiated a conversation again. She had a feeling he have a purpose the reason he bother himself to bring her home.

"Uhmmmm... Bea, have you heard about the camping that will be held by Science Club next week? I was actually participating in it and I would like to invite you to join with us. I'd be very happy if you would be there with us." He then stated after a few moments.

"Science Club? I thought you're in Math Club?" She curiously asked.

"I quit, It's a long story. It's more fun in Science Club. Anyway, you can persuade your friends to come with us if you want to?" He added trying to convince her more.

"That sounds fun but I...." She thought of an alibi to decline, actually she would love to participate and be with him but to expect too much from him scare her. She doesn't wanna assume that he intentionally invited her because he wants to be with her and then she'll end up heartbroken after. Assuming too much will not do her good, it will only hurt her if her expectations will never happen.

"Please Bea, come with us... I want you to be there with me." He said pleading clasping her hands. She even got worried a bit when he let go of his hold on the steering wheel.

"Eyes on the road Thyago!" She blurted out.

"Don't worry, you'll always be safe when I'm your driver, Bea. Please come with me to the camping..." She got stunned when he suddenly pull out her hand and gently press it as if convincing her more. He looked so damn cute in that gesture and that put up a smile on her lips but realizing Elena will surely come too, that smile immediately vanished away.

"I can't. You'll surely have fun with Elena there even without me?" She said trying to hide the disgust in her voice. She doesn't wanna stay in a place where Elena she was in.

"Do you and Elena have a problem?" He asked suspiciously.

"Were not on good terms. Yes, we're living under one roof but honestly speaking, we practically hate each other, that's it. So I can't come with that camping knowing she's there." She explained.

"She's not coming." He said grimly.

"That's why I'm the second option right?" She sarcastically replied.

"No! I really want you to come. Elena doesn't enjoy such activities like that so I didn't bother inviting her. I thought you're not mad at me anymore. So if you really do, you'll come with the camping with me." He snapped with a tinge of sulk in his voice. Why he was damn sure that she was mad at her before? This insensitive silly jerk will never realize that she avoided her because she wants to forget and move on with him not because she was upset for something wrong he was not aware he did.

"So what now, Bea? If you will not come with us in the camping, that means you're still mad at me." He accused in a pretending foul mood.

With that, guilt engulfed her. It took her a minute to finally say yes that made him feel delighted. Thyago promised her she'll enjoy the camping together with his company before he finally brought her home. She suddenly felt afraid for the decision she made for it will mean risking her heart and feelings. She doesn't wanna expect and assume things again then in the end, she'll get rejected.

That same night, for after four long months, she bothered to write in her diary again. It felt like she have missed writing in that notebook for a long time now...

Dear Thyago's Notes,

Oh, God! Glad to be able to write again. I thought I'll never write on these notes again. I thought I will never express my feelings here towards your Master anymore because I thought that's the ending of your Master and I love story but I guess, it probably deserves a sequel. Probably deserves a happy ending, I must say...

So here's the story, he talked to me and asked for forgiveness for whatever he has done wrong. Stupid of him, he actually did nothing wrong! I chose to avoid and not bother him so that I can forget him. You see it really hurts seeing him with Elena knowing I don't have a chance on him but he approached me and asked me not to avoid him again. Silly of him not to realize the reason why. Therefore, I decided to give it another chance... What can I do? Your Master was the spice that adds joy to the dish of my life, a drug that made me want to crave for more and simply my happiness. Love? Oh, I think I do! I wouldn't hurt so much If I didn't love him. I may be too young to even say this early but I know my feelings right, it was indeed love and not just a typical infatuation they soon I will outgrow...

Honestly, I'm afraid of this decision I made. He invited me to the camping that will be held by the Science Club and I say yes. This is probably risking my feelings and heart again for a chance hoping to win his heart and it worries me for the bad consequences that might befall me. Beyond this happiness I felt toward what's happening between Thyago and I, I can't seem to feel worried and nervous. I just hope I won't regret it in the end...

~ Miss Pretty