more chapters

hi!! 

So I am working on chapter 68, but I've been busy writing chapter for my new story. But as usual, it takes forever to get approved. it didn't use to be this way, but I'm trying to be patient.

and failing...

Because i suck at being patient. lol.

Anyway. Would you like to read the chapters i've written so far?

If you don't, you can just skip them. As usual they'll be author notes, so no charge for you guys.

chapter 9:  Jealous

Zev's pov

I was paying attention to class when Raiden moved Atalanta’s hair out of the way. She had a strappy dress on that was a few sizes too big. It reached just below her knees, but because of its size, it dipped down when she sat down, revealing a lot of her back.

Although most of her hair was covering the skin, until Raiden moved it.

He leaned forward, his chin resting on his right hand, while the left traced circles on her back.

There were small scars on her back, different from the ones that happened during what she claimed was a cooking accident.

Not touching the scars, Raiden circled around them. Atalanta began breathing heavy and slow, sounding like she would fall asleep any second.

I wish I was the one touching her.

No. No, I don’t.

Focus on the class, Zev! I scolded myself.

Yet when Atalanta didn’t know the answer, it was me who helped her. Not Raiden.

The next class was without Atalanta, and it felt good to be able to pay attention without either Raiden or Atalanta distracting me.

The seats around us were filled with young women, trying to gain Raiden’s attention. In the previous lesson, he made sure two seats near us remained free by sending away anyone who tried to sit there. But now he let anyone sit near us who wanted to.

“Is this part of your plan too?” I joked once class ended. “Hanging around Atalanta makes the rest of the shewolves want you even more.”

“No, that’s just an added bonus.” Raiden replied, without the enthusiasm he usually has when discussing his conquests.

When it was time for lunch, we sat down. More people joined us, but his mind was elsewhere.

It wasn’t until he spotted Atalanta that he got up. He beckoned her closer, using his index finger.

While the dress wasn’t much, it was still nice seeing her in one. It looked like a dress that belonged to someone much older. Maybe she got it from a thrift store, or something. She wasn’t wearing a bra with the dress.

Yeah. I noticed. I know I am not having sex, but that doesn’t make me a saint. They always put the air- conditioning on in the mess hall, making it a favorite place for people to hang out when it’s a warm day like today. But that did mean that when you first enter the place, it’s a bit chilly.

In short, her nipples were showing. And I could not look away.

Raiden bit his lip and shook his head, staring at Atalanta’s chest before sighing and walking off to buy the food. As usual, she was completely unaware of the effect she had on either of us.

Raiden barely talked to Atalanta during lunch, and neither did I; she was busy talking to Suzie or eating small bites of her food and sips of her drink. How long does it take for someone to gain weight? I wondered to myself.

If Raiden keeps buying her this much food, how will she start to look? Does it matter? As long as she’s healthy, I guess. And she doesn’t seem healthy. Or happy.

But happiness can be faked. Some days I’m fine, and other days I pretend to be fine. If I don’t pretend, either Raiden or his parents will start asking questions or make me take therapy again, and I have no interest in that.

I can handle it by myself.

After classes were over, Raiden had alpha training, which meant I needed to go to the library with Atalanta and help her study. While originally the plan was to tell her about the Crescent Moon pack, I wanted to see if I could help her catch up a bit in other subjects as well. 

It was clear she was behind on work, but I saw how much she paid attention to each class. If Raiden let her. She wrote notes, like a lot of them, but she never asked any questions. And whenever she was called to answer something, she got really nervous.

It was sad, really. I don’t get how someone like her can go from a human high school to this without any extra training or classes. They’ve just thrown her into the deep. No wonder she’s behind. And why didn’t her parents teach her any of this stuff? Some of this is just general knowledge that every werewolf is supposed to know.

I walked to the library, where she would likely already be waiting for me. This was going to be hard. She barely talked, so how would I know in which areas she needed help the most?

When I arrived at the library, I noticed a note hanging up on the bookshelf with tape.

“To whoever wrote the letter to his or her mother: I found your letter, and before I realized what it was, I read a few lines. It must be hard to lose your mother. I’m really sorry. If you want it back, I’ll be more than willing to hand it over. Just let me know when and where.”

I grabbed the note from the wall. Did I lose a letter? I did tear one out, but I figured it was somewhere in my room. But before tearing it out, I had placed it in my bag. Did it fall out?

I grabbed a piece of paper and quickly wrote a note back.

“It might be my letter. Thank you for the kind words, but you can throw it out, please. It’s been years, so I’m doing much better. Thanks.”

No. That was a lie. Why did I feel the need to lie to a stranger? They read my letter, so they must know I still miss mom.

I crumpled up the paper.

"Hi, kind stranger. If it's, in fact, my letter you read, you can destroy it. I wrote it on a tough day, which is why I scratched most of it out. Thank you for wanting to give it back.” And I planted the note in the same spot.

I looked around to find Atalanta, only to see her in the back corner, crouched over a text book.

“I hope you didn’t have to wait long?” I asked, and she shook her head and smiled at me.

I grabbed the chair across from Atalanta.

“So, what do you need help with?” I asked Atalanta.

“Um, everything?”

I chuckled, “I’m sure it’s not that bad.”

“I am not a good learner.” She admitted.

“Well, you have different ways of learning. Like for example, I like to make summaries of the text I’m supposed to read and then highlight the important bits. But Raiden learns really well when he’s told a story. Some people have to make cue cards, or some learn better while listening to music. It’s just about finding the right way that works for you.”

She nodded, but didn’t give me anything else.

“How did you used to get ready for tests?” I asked.

“I never took tests.” Atalanta said. “Um, I mean. Of course, I did. I just studied like everyone else.”

That was strange.

“We can try different methods and see what sticks. I’ll read a page to you. Then you’ll make a summary of the next page and highlight the page after that, and we’ll make a few cue cards and see what works best.”

“Okay.” her soft voice spoke.

After making a summary and listening to me talk, it was time for her to highlight the text.

“But how do I know what’s important and what’s not?” It was the first time she had asked me a question, and I considered it progress. I got up and walked over to her, taking a seat beside her.

“Dates are important, as are names.” I explained. “And of course, you can skip the people you know about.”

“I don’t know any of them.”

I pointed to the text, “this one. Alpha Alexander is the great-grandfather of Raiden, actually. And I don’t know if you’ve met Joseph? But this guy here is his great-great grandfather. They have the same nose. Most of these men have some connection to us. Maybe one of your ancestors is in there somewhere.”

“And yours?”

“My grandfather on my mother’s side was an alpha. Her dad, my grandfather, was the second in line.”  I explained.

“Your father isn’t from an alpha line?”

I shook my head. I really didn’t want to talk about him. “No, he has some beta in him, though.”

She smiled at me. “Thank you for explaining it to me.”

“Don’t thank me yet; we still need to do a little test to see what you remembered. Learning with music, you’ll have to try on your own; they don’t allow loud noises in the library.” I joked.

After I tested Atalanta with some simple questions, it was clear she learned well by listening and using cue cards. She’s a slow reader, though.

I wonder what kind of education she got among humans. They get some of the same classes we do, so why is she so behind in everything?

It was almost time for dinner, so we both worked on our homework for a bit and then walked to the cafeteria where Raiden would be waiting for us.

“I’m sorry about Raiden, by the way.” I said before I could stop myself.

“It’s fine.”

“If it’s too much just say the word or Suzie and I will put a stop to him.”

She shook her head, “I can handle it.”

“You shouldn’t. You know. If, -“

“What shouldn’t out little Mouse do?” Raiden came out of nowhere, smelling like sweat and blood. His shirt was sticking to his chest with either sweat or blood, or both.

“Couldn’t you have showered first?” I asked. “Who did you kill?”

Raiden laughed, “no one, it isn’t allowed sadly. But I did have a really great sparing match with that dick, Dylan. But I can take it off if it bothers you…”

He took his shirt off and Atalanta stopped moving to stare at my best friend.

Something inside me screamed why doesn’t she look at me like that, but I pushed the green eyed monster down. First of all, I am not interested in Atalanta. And secondly, a lot of girls look at Raiden that way. He’s an alpha man and even I can appreciate the way he looks.

Raiden works hard for this body, but it’s mostly genes. I am more lean than him. But even if I tried, I could never have his body. He’s just build like a bear. Broad shoulders, thick arms and legs. Tall as a mountain, just like his dad. There’s no point in comparing us, because we’re nothing alike physically.

Once I realized that we both have our own positive and negative traits I never felt jealous of the attention her got anymore.

This is the first time in a long time that feeling of not being good enough came back.

It isn’t always easy being the best friend to an alpha heir and while Raiden had asked me to be his beta, I don’t want to always live in his shadow. I might resent him and that would be a waste. Because we’re brothers in a way. Our friendship means a lot to me. More than he realizes.