LOGINChapter 121XENOIS"I apologized," I said. "I told her it was an intrusive thought."*And maybe that was a mistake. Maybe you should have owned it. Should have pulled her harder against you and kissed her deeper and let her feel how much you wanted her.*The image of that—of doing exactly what he described—sent a fresh wave of arousal through me. I could almost feel her body pressed against mine, could almost hear her gasp, could almost taste her surrender.*This is who you are. Not just the gentle father and loving husband, but also the dominant, intense lover. You're all of these things. And trying to suppress part of yourself will only make you miserable.*"But what if I can't control it?" I asked. "What if letting that part of me out means I lose the better parts? What if I hurt her?"*You won't. Because underneath all of this, you love her. That's the difference between abuse and intense consensual play—love and care for your partner's wellbeing. The old you might have been cold
Chapter 120XENOIS More memories flooded in, and I stopped trying to fight them. Stopped trying to block out the images of everything I'd done with Celeste before the accident.Her breasts red and swollen from hours of my attention, marked with bites and bruises. The way she'd winced when breastfeeding the triplets the next day, but she'd never asked me to be gentler. Had seemed to find satisfaction in the reminder of what we'd done.Her legs shaking so badly after I'd fucked her that she could barely walk. Watching her try to compose herself, smoothing her dress and fixing her hair while her body still trembled from multiple orgasms.Her throat hoarse from screaming my name, voice rough the next day in a way that made me want to do it all over again.*All of that happened. All of that was real. And you enjoyed it. She enjoyed it. Stop pretending otherwise.*"But I'm different now," I insisted, though my conviction was wavering. "I've changed. I'm not that person anymore."*Have you
Chapter 119XENOIS I sat in my home office, staring at the contract spread across my desk without actually reading a single word. The document was important—something about merger negotiations with a European firm—but my mind was elsewhere.Specifically, it was in the kitchen this morning, replaying that moment when I'd grabbed Celeste.I groaned, dropping my head into my hands. My body's reaction to the memory was immediate and undeniable—arousal pooling hot and insistent in my lower abdomen, making my pants uncomfortably tight.*Interesting,* old Xenois observed. *So you did enjoy it. The grabbing, the dominance, the way she felt pressed against you. You're just ashamed to admit it.*"Shut up," I muttered, trying to refocus on the contract. But the words might as well have been in another language for all the sense they were making.*You can't ignore this. Your body knows what it wants, even if your conscious mind is busy pretending to be some gentle, vanilla version of masculinity
Chapter 118CELESTEWhat if this morning's grab wasn't his brain healing—what if it was his memory returning? What if he was starting to remember who he really was, what our marriage really was, what was supposed to have happened?"You're spiraling," Miranda observed. "I can see it. What are you not telling me?"Everything, I thought. I'm not telling you everything.But I couldn't. The contract had a confidentiality clause. If I revealed its existence to anyone, I'd forfeit all settlement rights and potentially face legal consequences. It was one of many ways old Xenois had ensured I'd stay quiet about the arrangement."I'm just scared," I said instead. "Scared of losing what we have now. Scared of him becoming who he was before. Scared that I'm not strong enough to handle either outcome."Miranda pulled me into a hug, and I let myself lean into her, drawing comfort from her steadfast friendship."You're going to be okay," she said firmly. "Whatever happens, however this plays out, yo
Chapter 117CELESTE Not the pain itself, exactly, but what the pain represented. In those moments, I'd felt wanted. Desired. Like he was addicted to me, like he couldn't control himself around me. It had been the only time he'd seemed to actually see me as a person rather than a contractual obligation.I'd clung to those moments, treasured them, used them to convince myself that maybe he felt something for me after all. That maybe our arrangement was becoming real.But it never had. The next morning, he'd be back to treating me like a stranger who happened to live in his house. Cold, distant, barely acknowledging my existence unless he needed me for something.The new Xenois was nothing like that. He was tender, careful, constantly checking in to make sure I was comfortable. He never initiated anything unless he was certain I wanted it. He made love to me rather than fucking me, and it was beautiful and connecting and everything I'd always wanted.But part of me—a dark, shameful part
Chapter 116CELESTE Miranda squeezed my hands. "You'll do what you should have done years ago—you'll leave. You'll take the boys and build a life that isn't centered around a man who treats you like property."If only it were that simple.But I couldn't tell her about the contract. Couldn't explain that yesterday—the day of the accident—had been the day our six-year marriage agreement was supposed to end. The day I was supposed to give up the boys and disappear from their lives while Xenois married Sophia Hale, his supposed true love, his first love, the woman he'd apparently been pining for throughout our entire sham marriage.We'd already signed the divorce papers that morning. I remembered sitting in his home office, my hands shaking as I'd put my signature on the documents that would end my legal tie to him and begin the process of severing my parental rights.He'd been cold that morning. Businesslike. Reviewing the terms of our dissolution the way he might review a corporate mer







