Chapter 8- Telling Everyone

Amaija

“Are you sure about this?” Brin asks. I nod as we scan pages of sperm donation information. Krystel emailed me a couple of days ago. It’s been two weeks since I decided I want a baby, and so far, I’ve only told Brin.

“I’m positive, Brin. Stop asking.” She sighs.

“What if you meet Mr. Right, but you’re pregnant by some stranger?” she prompts.

“If he’s Mr. Right, he won’t care,” I reply.

“What man wouldn’t… Federico!” Brin calls her fiancé, who pops his head out of the kitchen.

“Sì, bellezza?” (Yes, beauty?) He walks in and gives her a long, passionate kiss. Why did I even come here? I should’ve told Zara—we could’ve wallowed in our singleness with ice cream and N*****x.

“Miele (honey), would you care if I were pregnant by another man when we met?” Brin asks.

“Of course not, bellezza. You’re my soulmate. Even if you were pregnant, you’d still be mine.”

“Ahh,” Brin coos before they kiss again.

I roll my eyes—ugh, here they go. I should’ve picked Zara. “Can you two stop that?”

“Stop what?” Brin pulls away, confused.

“Sucking face. I’m here for your help.”

“Sweetie, are you sure you wouldn’t rather we set you up? I know plenty of hot actors,” she offers.

“I’m positive I don’t want one of those narcissists you work with.”

“Just because they’re attractive doesn’t make them narcissists.”

“Have you forgotten? I met them when we shot that video game. I call them narcissists because they are. Plus, they’re not my type.” She frowns and rolls her eyes as Federico sits beside me.

“Have you started looking for an, um… specimen yet?” he asks.

“It’s sperm, Federico, and no. I should start this week.”

“Aren’t you going to tell Mom and Dad first? Or Jaden?” Brin asks again.

“Mom will try to talk me out of it. She’ll want me to wait for ‘the one.’ She doesn’t get that not everyone meets the love of their life at 18,” I explain. Mom believes in true love because she found it with Dad, so she won’t support me having a baby with a stranger. “I won’t tell her until I’m at least a month along.”

“Okay, I get that logic, but Oni-chan—”

“He’s in Ireland with Dad. I’ll tell him when he’s back. Are you coming to the sperm bank with me?”

“It’s like shopping for a kid. It feels so impersonal. Are you sure?”

“Yes, for the hundredth time, I’m sure. I’ve thought this through, and I’ve never wanted anything more than this baby. I’d love your support, but you don’t have to come if you don’t want to.”

“No, no, I’ll come.”

“Great! If all goes well, I’ll be pregnant in a couple of months. I’m so excited.” I do a little shimmy. I can’t wait to watch my stomach grow and smell that new baby scent. It’ll be hard alone, but holding my little one will make it worth it.

“Aren’t you afraid of losing this one too?” Federico asks, sucking the air from my lungs.

“Federico!” Brin snaps.

“Uh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that—it’s just, you lost the last…” He tries to explain, but it only makes it worse.

“Honey, shut up. I’m sorry, Onee-chan,” Brin apologizes for him.

“No, it’s fine. I lost a child a year ago. Improper implantation of the egg in my uterine lining caused the miscarriage. It’s rare, so the doctors don’t think it’ll happen again,” I say, a little peeved. Who asks someone that?

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking,” Federico apologizes again.

“Yet you still spoke.” Brin glares at him. I don’t want to cause a fight. “I should go,” I say.

“No, you shouldn’t. Federico—” Brin stops me.

“I don’t want to be why you’re fighting.”

“You’re not. We’re fighting because he said something insensitive.”

“I’m sorry, Ami. I shouldn’t have brought it up,” Federico apologizes a third time.

“It’s okay. I accept your apology. Now, will you two kiss and make up?” I suggest.

Brin huffs and crosses her arms as Rico gives her puppy-dog eyes. “Bellezza, I’m sorry. Forgive me.”

“I don’t want to.” He sits beside her. She shifts away.

“Bellezza, I was wrong. Please forgive me,” Rico begs, hugging her. She doesn’t pull away. He kisses her neck, and her icy exterior melts. He nibbles, and I watch—okay, I know where this is going. I stand, gathering my pamphlets and printouts.

“I’m going to go.”

“No, you don’t have to,” Brin moans.

“Yup, see ya,” I reply, hurrying to the door and slipping out before she can say another word or make another sound.

I head to my car, planning to go home, but then I remember Zara asked me to come over today. It’s her day off. I check my watch—2:00 p.m. She should be up and functioning. I changed course for Brooklyn. Thirty minutes later, I pull up to her brownstone.

Two cars are parked out front. I recognize Zara’s, but the other looks like Jaden’s. He’s supposed to be in Ireland—did Zara get a new car or a new man? Curious, I grab my baby files and head to the door. I ring the bell. It echoes through the house, but no one answers. I ring again—same thing. Maybe she’s asleep; Zara’s a notoriously heavy sleeper. She could probably snooze through an explosion.

I step back to the first plant on the stoop, dig in the soil, and pull out the key triumphantly. I unlock the door and enter. Loud music blasts—that’s why she didn’t hear me. I head for the stairs. I’ve only been here twice, so the layout’s unfamiliar, but I know her bedroom’s on the second floor. I climb up, the music streaming through the house.

Odd. Zara isn’t into music. She only plays sad songs after breakups. Neither of us grew up with it— even now, I only play it for guests. Jaden loves it, though, blasting it constantly. That’s why I stayed with Mom and Dad after the miscarriage. Maybe that was a mistake—loud music beats walking in on your parents having sex. I groan as the images flood back.

“Ugh,” I mumble, reaching her door. I push it open.

“Zara…”

I freeze, watching what looks like my brother on top of my best friend. When did this happen? I didn’t know he liked her. Isn’t he in Ireland? They don’t even notice me. I walk to her speakers and turn them off. Jaden looks up.

“What—” He leaps off her.

“Hi, Oni-chan. I see you’ve been busy,” I say sarcastically.

“I forgot you were coming today,” Zara admits.

“You had other things on your mind—or in your hands,” I chuckle as she covers herself.

“Ami, this isn’t what it looks like…” Jaden starts.

“Looks like you two were having sex. I’ll be downstairs so you can finish up.” I laugh, leaving. I’m happy Jaden’s finally dating seriously—he’s been a player long enough. And now I won’t hear about her crush on him. Win-win, except I’ve lost my single friend to commiserate with about our family’s annoying couples.

Fifteen minutes later, they join me in the living room as I sip wine from Zara’s cooler. I’ll be pregnant soon, so I’m drinking while I can. They sit on the sofa, nervously eyeing me without speaking.

“So, how long has this been going on?” I ask. I don’t mind them together, but it would’ve been nice to know.

“Nine months. Jaden came over one night, and one thing led to another, and we…” Zara trails off.

“He ended up on top. I get it. But, Oni-chan, aren’t you supposed to be in Ireland with Dad?”

“We got back this morning,” he says.

“Oh, and the first thing you do is jump into Zara’s bed? Just like Dad—I bet he and Mom are… Okay, let’s not think about them. So you’ve been hiding this for nine months, Oni-chan?” I scold.

“Sorry we didn’t tell you. You’ve been in a ‘fuck relationships’ mood lately,” he explains. Fair, given how my last one ended.

“It’s fine. I’m happy for you two. Just make sure I’m maid of honor at the wedding.”

“Wedding? Whoa, whoa—wedding? We’re just having fun,” Zara exclaims.

“Yeah, no commitment, no promises of love—just hot, passionate sex,” Jaden agrees. Just sex? She’s had a crush on him—can she want that? She looks happy, though, so I guess I am too if she is.

“Okay, it’s your life.”

“Ami, please don’t tell anyone,” Zara says.

“Yeah, you know them—especially Mom. She’d be planning the wedding and grandbabies by tomorrow,” Jaden adds.

“I can’t believe a mama’s boy is keeping secrets from his mother.”

“I’ll tell her if it gets serious. For now—”

“Fine, if that’s what you want. Speaking of babies, I’m going to have one,” I announce.

“What?”

“What?” they shout in unison.

“You’re pregnant? Who’s the asshole this time? I didn’t get to punch Xoi—I won’t miss out again. Who is it?” Jaden demands. He’s always been super protective, especially since I keep falling for jerks.

“Oni-chan, calm down. There’s no asshole, and I’m not pregnant.”

“But you just—”

“I’m going to have a baby—meaning I plan to,” I clarify. They furrow their brows, confused.

“I’m getting a sperm donor.”

“That’s…” Zara seems lost for words.

“No, no, no—hell no,” Jaden yells, as if he can stop me.

“I’m a grown woman, Zane. I make my own decisions. Who are you to tell me no?”

“But, Imoto…”

“No buts. I’m doing it, and I need your support,” I insist.

He comes over and hugs me. “I love you, and I support you if you’re certain.”

“I am.”

“Are you sure you’re not doing this because you’re afraid of committing again?” he asks.

“I am afraid of commitment and getting hurt. I trusted Xoi, and he shattered that—maybe my ability to trust any man. But I wanted that baby, Zane. I wanted it so badly, and I lost it. I want this baby more than anything.” My eyes tear up. Zara sits beside me and hugs me, too.

“We’re here for you, Ami, and we’ll support you,” she says.

“We love you, sis. If this is what you want, I’m ready to be the best uncle ever.” I smile, pulling away.

“Thank you, guys.”

“No problem. Anything we can do to help?” Zara asks. I wipe my eyes and nod, thrilled by their support.

“I’m going, uh… sperm shopping this week with Brin. Can you come?”

“Sure, sweetie. Tell me the time and place, and I’ll help you pick out the best jizz they’ve got.” I smile as they both hug me.

“I’m going to be a mommy.”

“You’ll be a great one,” Jaden affirms.

“I know. I can’t wait.”