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013: Picking exhaustion over being alone

Penulis: Raven
last update Tanggal publikasi: 2026-07-25 19:53:05
Ellis

This was starting to feel like a freaking experiment, like someone was watching to see how long we could both pretend to be alone in this dorm.

To act like the other didn’t even exist.

On one side, Julian remained where he’d been since he sat down at his desk, sitting straight with unwavering focus, the only sign of time passing being the soft sound of pages turning.

On the other side, I was still unpacking what remained of my life into a space that didn’t yet feel like mine. I move
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  • My Enemy [BL]   068: The issue III

    ELLISThe realization settled quietly, as if it had been there long enough to stop announcing itself. Not the dramatic, possessive kind but something quieter than that, a person alone in a dark room with cold coffee, waiting.I gaped at him. Damn maybe I wasn’t a genius after all...he’d been jealous the entire time, he was just good at hiding it.Anyone would be jealous if their roommate was busy boasting of kissing their crush after all. I snorted, guess I got a reaction out of him after all!Whoooo!"Sure." I drawled."Not at all.""Completely normal behavior, sitting in the dark. Timing my return, making strange sounds at me. Very chill, just admit you’re jealous I took your girl.""Would you stop—""I’m just stating the facts, you hate that Pamela likes me—""Who says I like Pamela?" he interjected, and there was a hint of control slipping through, just a touch...like a facade changing with a glance. "She’s not the one I want, so quit whatever it is yore trying to do. The person I

  • My Enemy [BL]   068: The issue III

    ELLISThe realization settled quietly, as if it had been there long enough to stop announcing itself. Not the dramatic, possessive kind but something quieter than that, a person alone in a dark room with cold coffee, waiting.I gaped at him. Damn maybe I wasn’t a genius after all...he’d been jealous the entire time, he was just good at hiding it.Anyone would be jealous if their roommate was busy boasting of kissing their crush after all. I snorted, guess I got a reaction out of him after all!Whoooo!"Sure." I drawled."Not at all.""Completely normal behavior, sitting in the dark. Timing my return, making strange sounds at me. Very chill, just admit you’re jealous I took your girl.""Would you stop—""I’m just stating the facts, you hate that Pamela likes me—""Who says I like Pamela?" he interjected, and there was a hint of control slipping through, just a touch...like a facade changing with a glance. "She’s not the one I want, so quit whatever it is yore trying to do. The person I

  • My Enemy [BL]   068: The issue III

    ELLISThe realization settled quietly, as if it had been there long enough to stop announcing itself. Not the dramatic, possessive kind but something quieter than that, a person alone in a dark room with cold coffee, waiting.I gaped at him. Damn maybe I wasn’t a genius after all...he’d been jealous the entire time, he was just good at hiding it.Anyone would be jealous if their roommate was busy boasting of kissing their crush after all. I snorted, guess I got a reaction out of him after all!Whoooo!"Sure." I drawled."Not at all.""Completely normal behavior, sitting in the dark. Timing my return, making strange sounds at me. Very chill, just admit you’re jealous I took your girl.""Would you stop—""I’m just stating the facts, you hate that Pamela likes me—""Who says I like Pamela?" he interjected, and there was a hint of control slipping through, just a touch...like a facade changing with a glance. "She’s not the one I want, so quit whatever it is yore trying to do. The person I

  • My Enemy [BL]   067: The issue II

    ELLIS"I don’t have an issue." he responded."You are definitely having an issue.""I’m having a conversation.""You’re doing that thing," I said, pointing at him emphatically.His expression remained calm. "You’ll need to be more specific.""That thing where you pretend you’re not judging me while you’re clearly judging me. That thing where everything you say feels like it’s hiding a second word. That thing!"Something shifted in his eyes. Just like that, there and gone, like sunlight sparkling on water, visible for just long enough to register before it vanished."Maybe I’m just surprised," he offered."About what?"He skimmed his gaze over me in a quick but deliberate manner. "That you were out this late, pretty irresponsible of you. You’ve never done that before."And there it was again, that tone, that careful, unacknowledged implication lurking beneath a seemingly normal sentence. The pieces clicked into place so fast I could almost hear them."Oh my God!""What?""You think we

  • My Enemy [BL]   065: The issue

    ELLISBy the time I got to Pinnacle Hall, my mind felt like it had been tossed in a blender on high speed.The late night walk back from Kingston Hall should’ve helped me clear my head out. Fresh air, peaceful campus paths, and the soft sound of my footsteps on the pavement, all the right ingredients for some calm reflection.But it didn’t work. If anything, the quiet just gave my thoughts more space to spread out and settle in, taking over like they owned the place, rearranging furniture and propping their feet up.Now I had two kisses running around in my head, both occupying space without paying rent. One from three weeks ago, in a closet, uninvited, unresolved, and apparently immortal. The other happened less than an hour ago outside Pamela’s dorm, soft, warm, and everything a first kiss should be.And for some reason, my brain thought it was a good idea to compare the two.In detail. With the kind of critical focus that felt less productive, considering I really did have things t

  • My Enemy [BL]   064: Promise

    ELLIS"Me too." I replied and I really meant it. The night had been good... genuinely, honestly good. The catch was that good and simple weren’t the same as certain, and I couldn’t shake the feeling of the gap between them.Her smile softened, becoming a bit shy, a departure from her usual demeanor that felt more impactful for it. "I’d...um, I’d like to do this again."My stomach tightened. Not because I didn’t want to, I just couldn’t find that part of me that should’ve reacted simply, and its absence was painfully conspicuous."Yeah," I said, after what felt like a beat too long. "I’d like that too."Her face lit up, the way it did when she was genuinely pleased about something, that immediate warmth radiating from her.Then, before I had a chance to fully process the movement, she stepped in closer, close enough for me to catch the scent of vanilla and faint floral notes. Closer enough to see that smile still shining in her eyes."I really like you, Ellis."And just like that, she

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