SHOCKED LITTLE VIRGIN   

MIA 

I woke up with pains all over my body. At first I couldn't open my eyes. 

My head was pounding like someone had split it open, my mouth tasted of metal, like I was forcefully kissed, then something sticky and cold clung to the inside of my thighs. 

I opened my eyes gently, the cracked ceiling of my old bedroom stared back at me. I turned gently, the sheets under me were twisted and damp. For a few seconds, I didn’t understand what was happening, then the memories played in.

I ate dinner and found out I was drugged. I remember not being able to scream, I couldn't even call Jax as I promised. Then why is my thigh sticky?  Oh my God…I was about to take my trousers off, that was when I noticed I wasn't even on anything. That was when I saw the semen. Then it occurred to me that I had been used again.

I cried out, this time it was broken… I got up so fast the room tilted, but I ignored it. I grabbed my black gown that was discarded on the floor, that was when the wrongness of my body hit me. I had sores between my legs… they were bruises I hadn’t put there, the smell of a stranger on my skin. The bastard did not even bother to go gentle on a drugged girl.

“No… no, no, no—”

I stumbled out of the room, my legs shook so hard I almost collapsed. My shoulder slammed into the wall, but I ignored it. I opened the door forcefully, running through the hallway with my heart slamming against my ribs.

“Dad!” My voice cracked and rose. “Dad!”

At this point, I didn’t care about staying quiet or trying to be invisible anymore... I was so done, and I needed to confront them. I screamed his name as I staggered down the stairs, with one hand on the wall to keep myself upright.

Lila appeared at the bottom first. She was already dressed for the day, her hair was perfectly styled, but she was probably soaked by the rain outside. 

“Jesus Christ, Mia, stop screaming, you can't make us go deaf because we allowed you to stay here.”

Lila’s mother followed at a slower pace, a mug of coffee in one hand. She looked at me the way someone looks at something unpleasant on the floor.

“You’re awake,” she said calmly, like she was greeting her child a good morning. “Good, clean yourself up. You made a mess of the sheets.”

The word rang in my ear. I was so sure of her, it meant [Good morning, Mia. You are awake; please go and have your bath]

Bastard.

I gripped the banister so hard that my knuckles turned white. My voice came out raw. “You drugged me.”

Lila rolled her eyes like she was bored already and crossed her arms. “Oh, Mia, please, why are you acting like this is the first time? You’ve been doing this since you were eighteen, don’t start performing the shocked little virgin now.”

My stomach turned violently. “I never chose…”

“But you did it,” Lila cut in, almost cheerful. “Over and over, men come here to fuck you countless times in a week, so spare us the tears.”

Lila’s mother took a slow sip of her coffee, she was already seated on her usual couch now. “The man was about to have your father arrested.” She pointed to my father. “You know how he does, unpaid debts, incomplete paperwork. They were unpleasant complications, and we needed a way to settle it quickly. You were here, so it was the simplest solution.” She said it like we were discussing the rain pouring outside.

Simplest solution. The word almost made me laugh. It wasn’t anything close to joy, I just didn't want them to see me fall apart. But I didn’t blame Lila, nor her mother.

I looked past both of them, and my eyes dropped on my father. It was him I blamed for not protecting what was his, instead, he joined in to ruin me. 

My father was standing in the doorway of the living room, shirt half-buttoned. His eyes were bloodshot from whatever he had been drinking. He wasn’t looking at my face, he was staring somewhere near my feet. I wanted to ask him why, cry for him, see if he still felt something for me as his daughter.

But he was staring at me like this was just another ordinary morning and I was an inconvenience he didn’t want to deal with. Something inside my chest immediately tore open.

“I hate you.” The words slipped out, shaking and low at first. Do you hear me? I hate you.” I made sure it was louder this time because I was so sure. “I hate what you let them do to me. I hate that you never protected me; I hate that you are my father.” I paused, breathing heavily… “I hate you!”

His head lifted. For one brief second, his mother changed, to hurt, or shock, or whatever was left of the man he used to be before Lila’s mother rewrote him, but it vanished instantly. What a waste of existence. I was so sure my mother was rolling in her grave right now.

I didn't bother to say another word, I ran back to my room and grabbed my phone. I was about to call Jax, but it was dead. 

Fuck calls.

I ran out of the room, with the gown on my body and my dead phone and ran downstairs. Anywhere was better than this trauma hole. I pushed between them, my shoulder knocking into Lila hard enough to make her stumble. My father stood up, like he wanted to stop me.

“Leave her,” Lila’s mother said smoothly, almost gently. “She’ll be back. She has nowhere else to go, Lucas is finished with her, we both know it.”

“That’s right, run.” Lila’s voice followed me all the way to the front door. “Let's see how far you can go with nothing. You can fuck a small dick, then come crawling back the same way you always do.”

I pushed the door open.

The rain hit my face first. It was cold, hard, relentless. The storm had already turned the street into a dark, rushing river. Thunder cracked so loud I thought the windows behind me would break. But I didn’t feel the cold, or care about the storm.

I ran.

I finally let the tears fall as my bare feet slapped against the wet pavement. I made sure I didn't look back, because I was never coming back. My lungs burned from how fast I was running, tears mixed with rain until I couldn’t tell which was which, but I kept running. I was running from all of it, the house, Lila’s laughter, my father’s silence, the sticky wrongness still between my thighs…all of it.

Then my legs gave out along the street.

I hit the ground so hard I thought I would faint again. Water soaked through my clothes instantly. I tried to push myself up but failed, my arms shook and collapsed under me. The storm blasted overhead, drowning out everything except the sound of my own broken breathing.

I was passing out again. I curled in on myself in the middle of the flooded street, rain hammering down on my back.

“Jax,” I whispered before darkness took me again.