Come, my little sorrow

Emma

I was just finishing getting ready after breakfast. The sun had already risen, and we would soon be leaving for Bibury, so I didn't want to delay my benefactors. They were extremely attentive to me, and their manners were so kind. I think gentlemen are all like that.

They must consider me a savage.

"Why does this have to be so difficult? "I groaned as I tried to follow Mr. Thorpe's advice and fix my hair.

The fact that my hand was burnt didn't help either, it was stinging badly, in some places it had blistered, in others it was raw flesh.

I stared at the burn for a few moments, thinking about everything that had happened. In a matter of hours everything had been taken away from me, my home, my family, my whole life. The only thing I have left are a few changes of clothes and jewelry that I can't wear. 

A knock on the door brought me out of my reverie. I opened it, finding the maid who had helped me yesterday, I had never even dreamed of having a maid before. She was a few years older than me, looking about my mother's age.

"The gentlemen have asked to see if you need any help "the woman explained, carrying some folded bedding.

"I'm already finishing "I denied it.

"Does that mean you intend to go out like this? "She measured me with arched eyebrows.

"Is something wrong? "I assessed my reflection in the mirror.

 I hadn't made much progress with my hair, but it was pinned up and the dress was in place. It didn't go with my sandals, but I had no options.

The woman approached, putting the clothes on the dressing table and reaching under the folded fabrics for something.

"I hope you won't be offended, but I've brought you a shoe 

 She sat me down on the small stool in front of the dressing table and put a pair of shoes on the floor, before undoing all my work on my hair, letting it down once again.

"How? "I blinked in a daze as she began to carefully fix my strands.

"My name is Anna. I saw that you wore these sandals yesterday and this dress doesn't look like it was bought for you "she explained.

"I'm Emma "I replied embarrassed "I didn't know you'd notice my feet.

"I also saw the way you were dressed before "she continued.

That made my heart soar. She knows what I am, of course she does. But what will she do about it? I've never been afraid to let everyone know my origins. Despite my father's fears, I was proud of them, but now...

"Are you a gypsy? "She asked unceremoniously, surprising me. 

"I used to be "I lowered my gaze to my burnt hand. 

"Are you and that boy running away together? "She skirted around me as she finished with my hair, stopping in front of me to observe the result.

"In a way, I guess "I frowned, not understanding what she meant by that.

"Do you think so? "She looked at me confused. 

"Our camp was attacked "I opened up "I managed to escape, but I didn't get very far. Those two gentlemen found me and are helping me. I have nowhere else to go, so I accepted their help.

I don't understand why I was honest with her, maybe I thought she was trustworthy, or maybe I just needed to tell someone.

"I'm sorry "she bent down in front of me, holding my hands "What's wrong?

She frowned as she noticed a small grimace of pain due to her injured hand. I turned my palm up, showing the burn.

"That's terrible! "She exclaimed "I'll get the apothecary, we'll take care of it.

"No, it's not necessary, I'm fine!

"It must be hurting, darling "she looked at me with concern. 

"I can't delay their trip any longer "I explained, receiving an understanding sigh in return "I've been burned before, it's nothing. 

"You look so young "Ana appraised me, putting the shoes on me "How old are you?

""I turned twenty in March," I explained. 

We were in the middle of August, the temperature had already started to drop, soon we'd be in the fall. 

"Much better now "she stood up, urging me to follow her example "If you get a nice hat, you'll look perfect.

"I don't think I'll have one to hand "I replied, looking at my reflection in the mirror. 

I looked so different from the way I used to. It was as if I had been transported to some other universe where I could barely recognize myself.

"You have beautiful hair "she smiled, brushing a few strands away from my face "You can always leave a few strands loose. It looks great like that.

That gesture brought back memories of my mother, just a few days ago she was with me, painting my eyes, helping me decorate myself. What would she say if she were with me right now? Would she be proud? Would she teach me how to behave?

Those thoughts tore a hole in my heart. She has no way of helping me, of teaching me anything else. She's gone, like everything else in my life. I fought back the tears that threatened to come out. I couldn't cry now, I had to be strong, move on.

I wouldn't let anyone witness my tears.

"They're waiting for you "Anna smiled at me "I think it's time for you to go.

"Thank you "I thanked her, picking up my bag and following the maid. 

It's time to go.

What am I doing? I hardly know them and I'm trusting them with my life. This is crazy. With every step, fear tried to overwhelm me, but I pushed it away, into the depths of my soul with all the anguish that plagued me.

Anna led me to the room where Henry and I had talked last night. He and George were having a conversation when I entered. They both stood up when they saw me, bowing briefly. Anna closed the door behind me, leaving me there with the two of them.

"You've got your hair up," Henry appraised me. 

His expression didn't reveal much, did he like it?

"Yes "I forced a smile, running my hand through my hair "Anna helped me.

"Are you ready to go? "George approached me offering me his arm, receiving a questioning look from his friend. 

"Of course "I assured him, wrapping my hand around his arm "We can go.

"Why do you still have that? "He pointed to my bag.

"They're my belongings "I looked at him confused.

"You won't be needing it anymore "he replied "you could leave it here, it would be strange for a lady to show up with a bag like that.

"Leave it? "I widened my eyes, disentangling myself from him "I can't leave it, it's my clothes, my jewelry!

"Ms. Ferguson, these things won't fit anymore "he tried to explain "Sell the jewelry, leave the clothes, and...

""No!" I exclaimed, taking a step away from him and receiving a surprised look from Henry. "This is all that's left of my life, you can't force me to get rid of it.

"This isn't your life anymore, Ms. Ferguson "he insisted "You have to understand that they can't find out you're a gypsy, they wouldn't understand!

"So I'm going to pretend that my life before this never existed? "Tears began to burn in my eyes as I tried to hold them back "My parents never existed?

"That's not what I meant, but the people who will be welcoming you will obviously be surprised if you turn up carrying this "he replied in frustration "It's just clothes you won't be wearing anymore, you can get rid of it.

"My mother died to give me this "I hugged the bag, letting the tears roll as my mind wandered back to that moment "She would be alive if she hadn't come back for it. This is all I have left of her.

"Mrs. Ferguson "George tried to approach me, making me take a step back.

"He's right "Henry, who was just watching the scene, finally spoke up "they'll be surprised if you turn up carrying just one bag.

They don't understand, even after everything I've said. They must think we're too perverse to care about the departed.

"I thank you for looking after me so far "I bowed my head "It was very kind of a young stranger, but I think I'd better be on my way. Maybe I'll meet others.

"Ms. Ferguson, I'm sure we'll find a way "Mr. Thorpe called out to me as I made a brief bow before turning to the door.

I'm alone now, how did I manage to lose everything twice in less than two days? I thought I had some hope of rebuilding my life, but what can I do now?

"Emma "I felt both of Henry's hands on my arms, preventing me from moving. 

I blinked dazedly at the warmth of the man's hands on my skin. Why does he care if I leave or not?

He turned me towards him, watching me as I blinked, trying to force the tears to stop coming.

"Leave your bag with Mr. Thorpe "he instructed "We'll go after a suitcase so you can store your things.

"A suitcase? 

"He's right "Henry let go of me "It will be strange if you show up with that bag, but it will also be strange if you show up empty-handed.

"I don't have the money to buy a suitcase "I pointed out the obvious.

""I do, don't worry about it." He carefully took the bag from my hand and handed it to his friend.

"I have no way of repaying you "I looked into his eyes, trying to understand what was going on in his mind.

"I'm not expecting anything in return "he assured me.

"Then why? "I insisted in an attempt to find an answer. 

"I want you to be well "he replied as if it were obvious.

I couldn't stop my tears from falling again. Why does he care? He doesn't even know me. Why would anyone care?

I moved closer, and before he could react I put both hands on his chest, resting my head there, making him tense and unresponsive. I thought about pulling away for a moment, but then his arms wrapped around me, giving me that warm feeling once again.