Chapter 2: Drown to Misery

I didn't remember how my feet carried me away from that scene, only that my chest felt like being squeezed so tight. The image of their lips pressed together was burned into me, etched so deep I couldn't breathe.

It didn't occur to me that I would be facing this kind of dilemma. I thought being a soldier meant I could endure any wound, whether it was poisoned by the wolfsbane or not. But I realized this kind of wound I had right now was different.

This was my fated mate, the one the Moon Goddess had chosen for me, the one who was supposed to be my other half, only to face this betrayal I never expected to happen to me.

Why was this happening to me?

The two people I loved the most... Why would they do such a thing to me?

I didn't know how long I had been walking, but by the time I stopped, I was already standing before a tavern, realizing that the night had arrived. I could hear the laughter, men's hooligan voices, and the jangle of mugs inside.

Gazing at the cracked windows, the bitterness hinted in my mouth because this was a place for soldiers to forget themselves. I had been hearing my comrades going to this kind of place when they were too tired from dealing with their duty.

And this was a place I never thought I'd step into... until tonight.

As I pushed the two-way swing doors, the strong scent of ale and smoke wafted in the air, almost making me gag. I must have looked crazy since some people turned to stare at me before returning to their beverages. I slapped a quarter on the counter and sat on a stool, ignoring them.

"Something strong," I muttered. My voice didn't sound like mine. I didn't really care anymore. I just wanted the strong beverage to kick me in.

My throat burned after the first drink, feeling like there was a fire burning it, but I enjoyed the sensation. The second made me numb. The pain in my chest turned into a jumbled mixture of anger, grief, and bewilderment by the third drink.

There were flashes for me with each swallow. Memories that I didn't have alone. Those memories, I proclaimed that I had been reincarnated and experienced the same pain.

I remembered being a healer kneeling by a river, as my hand reached out to my mate to accept me despite my occupation.

I remembered being a scholar, spending my whole time sacrificing my study to my mate as I begged him not to trade me for power. In the end, he chose it over me.

I remembered being a warrior as my superior I trusted, turned to another, leaving me heartbroken on the field.

And the worst of all, I remembered standing as a Luna from a pack I could barely remember the name of before I met the miserable fate of taking my own life because of the pain my Alpha mate had inflicted.

Lifetime after lifetime, I had loved. Lifetime after lifetime, I had been forsaken.

And I knew to myself that I had been in a different body, and each past life I had had the same betrayal linger. I didn't know why I had these memories, or was I going insane because of the betrayal of Redmund and Lilith?

And this timeline I was in... this was another reincarnation. I had lived in another body again and gained my memories from my past lives.

"Euphyllia..." I bitterly murmured my name.

In every lifetime, I had borne the same name for some reason. Realizing it brought chills down my spine.

I needed some answers. I wanted to know if I was still thinking straight.

The mug slipped from my hand, spilling what was left onto the counter. My vision whirled, but it wasn't just the drink. It was too much, all of it pressing in.

"Strange place for a royal soldier to bleed her sorrows."

The words slid across the room, deep and baritone voice laced with quiet amusement. I turned, heart stumbling as my eyes found him.

He sat in the shadows of the corner table, a man who could get anyone's attention with just his mere presence. Damn it! 

Broad shoulders, short, neat brunette hair, a short beard, sharp jaw, freckled hazel eyes gleaming like steel under firelight. Not only that, an immense power was radiating off him, an aura that was too hard to ignore.

Everyone knew that face.

It was no other than Lucretius Xior Franciosa. A 39-year-old man who was the current Alpha of the Golden Eclipse Pack, one of the commanders of the royal military, and last but not least, Redmund's uncle.

And now, his gaze was fixed on me.

For a moment, I just stared at him, having a hard time mustering a response. Shit! I couldn't help but slightly frown, feeling agitated as I wondered why he was here in this place. And of all people that I had to meet, why him?

Why Redmund's uncle?

Was the Moon Goddess punishing me? Was this her way to slap on my face that I would always be hunted by Redmund?

The alcohol made it difficult for me to think straight, but his heavy presence was enough to make me sober in ways the drink couldn't.

My lips parted, but no words came out. I mentally pushed myself to at least say something, but I wasn't in my right mind right now due to my raw emotions.

"Lord Lucretius Franciosa..." I finally whispered, my voice hoarse. "Or must I say, Commander Franciosa..."

The way I mentioned his rank and name felt so bitter in my mouth. It felt like mentioning my mate, or must be because they were related to each other.

He arched his eyebrow, bringing the mug before taking a sip. "So, you know me," he said casually. I knew that I must suppose to greet him because of the difference in our ranks, but I chose not to. "Then again, who doesn't?"

The arrogance in his tone almost made me sneer. I had an urge to fly my punch on his face. Now, I knew how annoying he was.

No wonder a few of his peers didn't like him because of his airhead attitude. My comrades could put a term on him as an infamous commander, despite that he was good-looking and smart. I heard from them that he had a playboy reputation and he was using his appearance to his advantage.

I heard he could pull any woman with just a few sweet words. Even in that age, he could bed any woman he wanted.

I only met Commander Lucretius on occasional times because of the disparity of our work positions. He was always dispatched to handle some military affairs, while I was always staying on my work station, engulfed by the strategic books and maps.

Never would I imagine that I would be in the same place as him. He might be Redmund's uncle, and as much as I wanted to meet his family, Commander Lucretius was the only one I never wanted to cross paths with.

His aura was quite frightening. His Alpha aura was emitting that even though he wasn't my Alpha or the highest superior in the royal military, if he ordered me to sacrifice myself on the battlefield, I would probably do it.

That was how his effect on me.

But it didn't escape me how charismatic and captivating he was, especially those hazel eyes, which were piercing my whole being.

I snapped back to reality when his lips curved into a smirk. "Perhaps, my striking appearance is enough to make you sober, my lady?"

I almost snorted and held my mug tightly, trying to contain myself not to throwing it in his direction. "I am in my civilian clothing, yet you can identify me that I am part of the royal military, Commander." I sighed in relief that I was able to construct a proper sentence. "As far as I know, I am not under your wing," I added.

Because of how pompous he was, perhaps, I was sober now. Or so I thought.

Lucretius chuckled, low and unhurried, his hazel eyes glinting like he had peeled away my disguise with a single glance. "Royal soldiers wear their burdens in their stance. Even drunk, your spine doesn't bend." He winked.

His words cut too close, and I shifted on my stool. "Or maybe you just enjoy prying into things that aren't your concern."

Oh, this could be courting death for me right now. I shouldn't be talking back like this to my superior.

It was the fault of the alcohol that flowed in my veins right now. I felt unstoppable as of this moment.

"Maybe," he admitted, smirking. "But watching someone unravel alone is... boring." He tipped his glass toward me, a silent invitation. "Join me, my lady."

I almost refused when he gestured his hand. Every fiber of me wanted to spit in his smug face and walk out, but my legs felt too heavy, my heart too hollow. Against my better judgment, I found myself sliding from the bar and following him to his table in the shadowed corner.

The seat opposite him felt dangerous, but I ignored it, wanting to enjoy someone's company tonight.

"What makes a beautiful lady like you drink alone here? Did someone break your heart? Perhaps, your mate?"

His questions stung. It felt like a poisoned arrow struck my heart.

It was your goddamn nephew! I wanted to shout.

"It's none of your business," I replied bitterly. "Can we just talk about something else?" I ordered another ale and was about to drink it when a hand covered its rim and snatched it from me. "Hey!"

I caught Commander Lucretius waving the mug in front of me with a teasing grin plastered on his lips. "You're going to throw up in your fourth drink. Trust me. You don't want to get wasted, my lady."

I frowned, not liking his words. How did he know I was on my fourth drink? Had he been watching me all this time?

"You don't tell me what I need to do or not. Give my drink back to me," I demanded, but he didn't budge.

"Oh, a soldier like you is ordering me. How frightening."

Gnashing my teeth, I leaned forward and tried to snatch it back, but his reflexes were quick to move it away from me. "You dumbass!"

With my impatient and annoyed behavior, I couldn't help standing up while he did the same as he raised his arm to hold my mug. "Whoa there, my little soldier," he said when I drew closer to him, tiptoeing to reach it from him. "If you want me, just say so. I can give you a night of pleasure."

I halted, and that was when I realized my body was pressed against him as my hand was behind his head. His intoxicating earthy scent wafted in my nostrils, making my breath hitch. And I felt like being drawn to him more as time passed by. 

The noises in the tavern had gradually became silent until all I could hear was the unshaken rhythm of my pulse and his hot breath. 

Commander Lucretius's body was solid as a wall, yet radiating an Alpha's dangerous heat, while his words still echoed in my head.

"If you want me, just say so."

That brought chills down my spine before I froze when his arm snaked around my waist. I froze, but my body betrayed me.

The press of his chest against hers, the possessiveness of his strong, muscled arm on my waist, the tight hold of his hand on the mug, and the faint graze of his jaw near my temple... His presence was too much for me to handle.

Good Moon Goddess...

My heart felt like about to burst out as it screamed betrayal at the very thought of accepting his invitation. And my flesh was burning with hunger. I couldn't even remember ever allowing myself to look at another man other than Redmund.

"I-In your dreams!" I stammered, but my voice lacked substance. 

Commander Lucretius tilted his head, his smirk deepening as his hazel eyes examined me as if he could see right through my soul. "And yet..." he paused, leaning forward to graze his lips so close to my ear that my breath hitched. "...you haven't pulled away, my little soldier."

His response made my fingers tighten unconsciously in his hair. That my action startled me, I couldn't believe that I didn't even retreat. The mere thought of my mate caused a gleam of the image of him and Lilith kissing. 

It felt like being stabbed and twisted inside my chest by a knife. At this moment, I just wanted nothing but to forget the pain Redmund caused me. 

But there was a hint of a warning bell ringing in my head. I knew that I should push him, slap him, or even storm out to reclaim what was left of my dignity. I must stay loyal to my mate. However, my mate wasn't doing the same thing.

My wolf howled in pain as my voice broke in a whisper. It was pure bitterness and vulnerability, "Maybe... I don't want to remember tonight."

Yes... That could be it. I just wanted to ignore the warnings and forget the pain. The alcohol had already hit me, and I felt much bolder than earlier.

As I gawked at him, something in Commander Lucretius's smirk shifted. His smile changed from playful arrogance to something darker, more dangerous, I must add.

I gulped when he set aside the mug and cupped my face. His calloused thumb sensually caressed my lower lip while his other hand took mine as he brought it to his lips and kissed the back of it.

"Say the word, my little soldier," he murmured. "And I'll take you away from here."

Before I could even respond, his mouth claimed mine.