Chapter 6- My BFF.

Morgan’s POV:

Breakfast became a complete fucking fiasco after Alex left.

Not because anyone argued.

That would've actually been easier.

Instead, everyone became painfully polite.

We ate our food, exchanged a few harmless words, and pretended there wasn't a giant secret sitting at the table with us. Or walking around it, technically.

By the time we finished, Usher and Ryan headed back to their Pack duties while Allison practically dragged me toward her car.

Tomorrow's Wolf-Ball had everyone running around like lunatics.

Usher was already a perfectionist on a normal day. Give the man the responsibility of hosting the King and every important wolf in the Eastern Kingdom, and I could only imagine the hell his staff was currently enduring.

May the Moon Goddess have mercy on their souls.

Because Alpha Usher probably wouldn't.

I buckled my seat belt and sank into the passenger seat.

Shopping.

Fantastic.

Exactly what every exhausted woman dreamed of doing after spending fourteen hours on an airplane, treating an injured man at an airport, discovering her best friend was approximately seven months pregnant, and realizing her boyfriend apparently thought take things slowly meant stick your tongue down my throat at the first available opportunity.

What a beautiful fucking homecoming.

I rested my forehead against the cool window.

I should've been happy.

I was happy.

I was home.

But there was a knot sitting in my stomach that refused to go away. And most of it had Lily's name written all over it.

I couldn't understand why her pregnancy had affected me so deeply.

Maybe because I loved her.

Maybe because I was worried.

Or maybe because seeing that beautiful round belly had slapped me with the realization that I'd missed an enormous part of my best friend's life.

Almost seven months.

How had nobody told me?

More importantly...

Why hadn't she told me?

Lily and I used to tell each other everything.

Everything.

There were no forbidden subjects between Allison, Lily, and me.

At least there hadn't been before I left.

Now Lily was carrying a pup and refusing to identify the father.

That wasn't a small secret.

That was a fucking nuclear bomb. And because nobody would tell me anything, my imagination had decided to become my worst enemy.

Was the father someone from another Pack?

Had he rejected her?

Was he already mated?

Had someone hurt her?

That last possibility made my stomach turn.

I immediately pushed it away.

Stop it, Morgan.

I had absolutely no evidence that anything terrible had happened to Lily.

Inventing increasingly horrifying scenarios wasn't helping anyone.

But something had happened.

That much was obvious.

Lily wasn't behaving like herself.

And neither was everyone around her.

They were all being so fucking careful.

Careful with their questions.

Careful with their answers.

Careful with me.

Maybe that's what bothered me most.

I had come home expecting to slide straight back into the life I'd left behind. Instead, I was beginning to realize that life hadn't stopped simply because Morgan Miller moved to Europe.

People had changed.

Things had happened.

Secrets had been created without me.

That hurt more than I wanted to admit. And Lily wasn't the only thing occupying my mind.

Then there was Ryan.

I closed my eyes.

Fuck.

Maybe that was another conversation I needed to have with myself.

What if I had mistaken our friendship for something else?

The thought came out of nowhere.

Or maybe it hadn't.

Maybe I'd simply been avoiding it.

Ryan and I had known each other for years. We'd grown up around each other. He was Alex and Usher's friend long before he became my boyfriend, which meant he'd always been part of my world.

And yes, I'd had a crush on him.

I wasn't going to rewrite history just because I was confused now.

I had.

He was handsome. Funny. Protective. Easy to talk to.

But a crush wasn't love.

And friendship wasn't necessarily the foundation for a mate.

Maybe I'd blurred those lines somewhere along the way.

I had been so damn determined to make my own decision that I hadn't stopped to ask myself whether it was the right decision.

Everyone had told me to wait.

Alex especially.

And what had I done?

Exactly what Morgan Elizabeth Miller always did when someone told her not to do something.

I did it anyway.

"At least you're self-aware," Kira muttered.

"Nobody asked you."

"You rarely do."

I ignored her.

Maybe I should've talked to Alex more before saying yes to Ryan.

Not argue with him.

Not defend myself.

Actually talk to him.

I should have asked him why the idea bothered him so much beyond the obvious issue of Ryan not being my fated mate.

And Usher...

Goddess.

Why hadn't I talked to Usher?

He was my Alpha, yes, but he'd practically grown up in our house. He knew Ryan better than I did. They trained together. Worked together. Fought beside each other.

If I was considering dating one of their closest friends, wouldn't it have made sense to ask either one of them what they thought?

Instead, I'd made the decision thousands of miles away and announced it after the fact.

Because I knew exactly what they would've said.

Wait.

And I hadn't wanted to hear it.

That realization made me uncomfortable.

Maybe I hadn't avoided their opinions because they were wrong.

Maybe I'd avoided them because there had been a tiny part of me that was afraid they might be right.

I rubbed my forehead.

"Shit."

"Would you like me to say I told you so now, or should I save it for later?"

"Kira, I swear to the Moon Goddess..."

She laughed.

But I wasn't laughing.

Because another uncomfortable thought had taken root.

If Ryan had never asked me to be his girlfriend...

Would I have ever asked him?

I stared out the window.

I already knew the answer.

No.

And that scared me more than I wanted to admit.

He was certainly scaring the shit out of me.

Acting as though my return home meant our relationship could finally move into whatever next stage he'd apparently been imagining.

And I wasn't there yet.

Not even fucking close.

I had told him I wanted to take things slowly.

Unfortunately, he was not listening.

Kira growled.

I ignored her.

My relationship with Ryan was already complicated enough without Kira celebrating every doubt I had.

Because Ryan wasn't simply some guy I could date for a while and casually decide whether things worked out.

Not in our world.

Not when he wanted me as his chosen mate.

That required approval.

Marking another wolf's fated mate could have serious consequences.

Pack conflict.

Challenges.

Even war under the wrong circumstances.

Our laws existed because mate bonds weren't treated like casual relationships.

If I wanted Ryan permanently, there were steps we had to take.

The Elders.

Our former Luna.

The council.

My Alpha.

And somewhere in the middle of all those fucking formalities was one rather inconvenient problem.

My actual fated mate.

If he was alive, I would eventually have to find him.

And then what?

Reject him?

Ask him politely to accept that I'd already picked somebody else?

Hi. Nice to finally meet you. The Moon Goddess created us for one another, but I've made alternative arrangements. Have a wonderful life.

Yeah.

That should go beautifully.

I groaned.

"Having second thoughts?" Kira asked.

Silence.

"Maybe."

Her satisfaction practically vibrated through my skull.

"Don't fucking celebrate."

"I'm not celebrating."

"You're wagging your tail."

"My tail is happy to be home."

I almost laughed.

Crazy wolf.

But the humor disappeared quickly.

Because beneath all the rules, councils, mate bonds, and hypothetical disasters was a much simpler truth.

I hadn't thought this through.

Not really.

I had chosen Ryan while I was lonely.

While I was far away.

While the possibility of my fated mate had felt like an abstract problem I might never have to face.

And now I was home.

Suddenly everything felt real.

Goddess, I hadn't even started my new job.

I wanted to wear my white coat.

Treat patients.

Spend time with Alex.

Run through the forest with Kira.

Reconnect with my friends.

Eat at Lily's until I gained ten pounds.

Live a little.

I wasn't thinking about mating ceremonies and marks and having pups.

I wasn't ready for any of that.

And that didn't make Ryan a bad person.

It didn't mean I'd made some catastrophic mistake.

It simply meant...

Maybe I'd moved too fast.

I swallowed.

There.

I'd admitted it.

At least to myself.

"Finally," Kira whispered.

"Don't push it."

I turned toward the window again.

Trees blurred past us.

Love wasn't supposed to make someone feel trapped.

Mom had taught me that.

Love was supposed to be patient.

Kind.

Honest.

It wasn't supposed to demand or force or keep score.

And I wanted that kind of love.

Maybe Ryan and I could have it in the future.

Maybe we simply needed to slow the fuck down and learn how to actually be together.

I'd talk to him.

Eventually.

Preferably after I had slept for twelve consecutive hours.

"Dimples?"

I blinked.

Allison glanced at me before returning her attention to the road.

"Why are you so quiet?"

I released a long breath.

Here we go.

"Why didn't you tell me Lily was pregnant?"

Allison's hands tightened around the steering wheel.

"We talked almost every day, Alli. Phone calls. Video calls. Messages. You had a thousand opportunities."

"I know."

"She's almost seven months pregnant."

"I know."

"Then why the hell did I have to walk into Lily's Diner and discover it by looking at her stomach?"

Allison didn't answer immediately.

I looked out the window.

"I'm not trying to be a pain in the ass. I'm hurt."

"I know."

"No, I don't think you do."

My voice softened.

"She's my best friend too."

Allison's face fell.

And immediately, some of my anger disappeared.

"I should've told you," she said. "I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because it wasn't my secret."

That shut me up.

I turned toward her.

Allison sighed.

Her voice cracked slightly.

That surprised me.

"I know who you are to her. And I know who she is to you. But things have been..."

She stopped.

"Things have been what?"

"Different."

That knot returned to my stomach.

"Different how?"

Allison shook her head.

"Morgan, I don't know who the father is. I don't know why she's hiding him. I don't know if he's from our Pack, another Pack, or halfway across the fucking Kingdom."

"Then what if—"

"Morgan. Enough."

My mouth snapped shut.

Holy shit.

I slowly turned toward her.

That wasn't Allison.

Well...

Obviously, it was Allison.

But that voice hadn't belonged to my best friend.

That was my Luna.

Even Kira immediately went silent.

There was power behind Allison's words. Not enough to hurt or frighten me, but enough for every instinct inside my body to recognize the female sitting beside me as the highest-ranking she-wolf in our Pack.

Allison took a breath.

When she spoke again, her voice was softer.

"You're going to drive yourself fucking crazy."

"But—"

"No buts. Listen to me."

I pressed my lips together.

Apparently, Luna Allison wasn't done.

"You've been home for what? A few hours?"

I frowned.

"Yes."

"And in those few hours, you've already convinced yourself that Lily could've been assaulted, abandoned, involved with a mated male, rejected by her mate, or Goddess knows what else."

Well...

When she listed everything like that, I sounded slightly insane.

"I was worried."

"So am I."

The sharpness disappeared from her voice.

That stopped me.

Allison swallowed.

"So is Usher."

I studied her face.

For the first time, I noticed how exhausted she looked when Lily's name came up.

Not physically exhausted.

Emotionally.

"We've been trying, Morgan."

Her voice cracked even more.

"We've been trying so fucking hard to figure out what's happening with her."

My anger disappeared.

"Alli..."

"No. You need to understand this before you think we've all been sitting around pretending nothing is happening."

She tightened her hands around the steering wheel.

"Usher has talked to her. I've talked to her. Her mother has talked to her. We've offered help. Protection. Money. Pack resources. Whatever the hell she needs."

"And she won't say anything?"

"Nothing."

"Not even to Usher?"

"No."

That surprised me.

Usher wasn't only one of Lily's oldest friends.

He was her Alpha.

"Usher tried approaching her as a friend first," Allison continued. "When that didn't work, he approached her as her Alpha. He explained that if someone had hurt her, threatened her, abandoned her, or put her pup in danger, it became his responsibility."

"And?"

"She looked him straight in the eyes and told him she and her pup were safe."

I frowned.

"That's it?"

"That's it."

Allison released a frustrated breath.

"Then I tried."

I could already imagine how that went.

"You pushed."

"I pushed."

"Hard?"

"Too fucking hard."

I winced.

"Lily stopped talking to me for almost three weeks."

"Three weeks?"

"Three miserable fucking weeks."

That explained the sadness I'd noticed earlier.

"I thought I was helping her. I thought if I kept asking enough questions, eventually she'd break down and tell me."

"But she didn't."

"No. She pushed me completely out."

Allison's eyes became glossy.

"So I learned my lesson."

I reached across the console and touched her arm.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. We're okay now."

She gave me a small smile.

"But I'm not doing that to her again. If Lily tells us, she tells us. Until then, we're taking this one day at a time."

I hated that answer.

But maybe Allison was right.

"What happens when the pup is born?"

Her expression changed.

That was apparently something she'd already thought about.

"A lot depends on what Lily wants."

"And if she still refuses to tell you?"

Allison was quiet.

Then she sighed.

"I'm going to tell you something, but don't repeat it."

I raised an eyebrow.

"To whom?"

"Anyone."

"Okay."

She hesitated.

"If that pup is born and Lily is still struggling because she refuses to identify the father..."

She stopped.

"What?"

"I've considered having a DNA test done."

My eyes widened.

"Without telling her?"

"I said I've considered it."

"Allison!"

"I know!"

"That's fucking insane."

"You think I don't know that?"

She slapped one hand against the steering wheel.

"I'm her Luna, Morgan. I'm supposed to protect her. I'm supposed to protect that pup. And I'm also one of her fucking best friends, so every time I hear someone whispering about her, I want to rip their tongue out."

I stared at her.

There she was.

Not simply Luna Allison.

My Allison.

The woman who would burn down half the Kingdom for someone she loved and then complain about getting soot on her shoes.

"Does Usher know you've considered this?"

Her silence answered me.

My mouth dropped open.

"Allison."

"Don't."

"Your mate doesn't know?"

"No."

"Oh, this is getting better by the second."

"I haven't done anything!"

"Yet."

She shot me a glare.

I raised my hands.

"Okay."

"I don't even know if I would do it."

She looked ahead again.

"But sometimes I get desperate."

That I understood.

Because I was beginning to feel it too.

Allison's voice became quieter.

"You were right about one thing."

"What?"

"People are talking."

My stomach sank.

"Already?"

"Morgan, she's almost seven months pregnant. Of course they're talking."

"Fucking assholes."

"Yep."

"What are they saying?"

"You don't need to know."

"Allison."

"No."

There was the Luna again.

I shut up.

And suddenly I understood why this was hurting her and Usher so badly.

They weren't embarrassed by Lily.

They were watching someone they loved willingly stand in front of an entire Pack and take every judgment thrown at her rather than speak one fucking name.

That was what didn't make sense.

Allison reached across the console and squeezed my hand.

"You just got home, Dimples."

I looked at her.

"You don't have to solve four years of our lives in one afternoon."

That hit me harder than I expected.

"Now, let's go shopping."

The sudden excitement in her voice was disturbing.

I stared at her.

"Why did you say shopping like someone just told you that you won the lottery?"

"Because shopping is better than winning the lottery."

"No, it isn't."

"Yes, it is."

"You need professional help."

She grabbed her purse.

"And you need a dress."

I groaned.

Shopping was Allison's favorite pastime.

Her hobby.

Her therapy.

Her cardio.

Possibly her fucking religion.

I, on the other hand, preferred shopping online from the comfort of my couch while wearing pajamas and eating something unhealthy.

Click.

Add to cart.

Purchase.

Done.

No walking six miles through a mall while your best friend insisted that one more store actually meant another twelve.

Thank the Goddess for online shopping.

"We need a gown," Allison announced as we entered the mall. "Shoes. Jewelry. A clutch. Makeup—"

"Why do I need new makeup?"

She stopped walking.

Then slowly turned toward me.

Her eyes traveled over my face.

I gasped.

"Don't you fucking dare."

She pressed her lips together.

"Allison."

"I'm not saying anything."

"Your face is."

"Maybe some new lipstick."

"I have lipstick."

"From when?"

I thought about it.

"That's irrelevant."

She grabbed my arm.

"And maybe lashes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Morgan."

"Allison."

"You're going to a royal ball."

"I'm going to a Wolf-Ball."

"The King will be there."

"So?"

She stared at me like I'd just asked why oxygen was important.

"So?"

"Yes. So?"

"King Damian Khallowells is going to be standing in the same ballroom as us."

"And?"

"And the man is fucking gorgeous."

I laughed.

"You're mated."

"I'm not blind."

That made me laugh harder.

"Does Usher know you think the King is gorgeous?"

"Usher has eyes. He probably thinks King Damian is gorgeous."

I snorted.

"Please tell him that."

"Absolutely not."

"Why?"

"Because I enjoy living."

We laughed as she dragged me farther into the mall.

For the first time since leaving Lily's Diner, the knot in my stomach loosened.

This.

This was what I'd missed.

Stupid conversations.

Laughing until my stomach hurt.

Allison dragging me places I didn't want to go.

Me complaining the entire fucking time.

Normal.

I desperately needed normal.

Then Allison stopped so abruptly that I nearly walked into her.

"Oh, my Goddess."

I followed her gaze.

A shoe store.

Of course.

"No."

"Yes."

"We don't even have the dress yet."

She looked horrified.

"You don't choose the dress first."

"Normal people do."

"Normal people are boring."

"Allison, how the hell are we supposed to know what shoes match a dress we haven't even seen?"

She smiled.

"We find the shoes and build the outfit around them."

I stared at her.

"Who hurt you?"

She ignored me and practically skipped into the store.

I considered running in the opposite direction.

Seriously.

The exit wasn't that far away.

If I shifted inside the mall, I could probably make it into the woods before anyone caught me.

"Don't even think about it," Kira warned.

"Traitor."

"We need a gown."

"We need sleep."

"You need sleep. I need to look beautiful."

I stopped.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"You're a wolf. Nobody is going to see you."

"I will know."

Fucking diva.

"Look, Morgan!"

I turned.

Allison was holding up a pair of ridiculously high heels.

I stared at them.

Then at her.

Then back at the shoes.

"Are you trying to kill me before tomorrow?"

"They're beautiful."

"They're weapons."

"They're elegant."

"They could puncture a man's fucking lung."

"Exactly. Fashion and self-defense."

I laughed despite myself.

"Girl, aren't we supposed to find the dress first?"

"Nope."

"Of course not."

"I told you. Shoes first."

"That's psychotic."

"Try them on."

"No."

Five minutes later, I was wearing them.

I hated myself.

"Walk."

"I know how to walk."

"Then prove it."

I stood.

My ankle immediately wobbled.

Allison caught my arm.

"Oh, these are perfect."

"Perfect for what? Breaking my neck?"

She stepped back and admired them.

"You look taller."

I stared at her.

"I'm five-foot-three. Anything makes me look taller."

She burst out laughing.

"Take them off before I stab you with one."

She laughed harder.

Unfortunately, that was only store number one.

By store number four, I was reconsidering every decision that had brought me back to the Eastern Kingdom.

By store number six, I was contemplating calling Alex.

Not because I missed him— I needed him to manufacture an emergency.

Rogues.

Border breach.

Wildfire.

Royal assassination attempt.

Anything.

Then I remembered one inconvenient detail.

Allison's mate was Alex's Alpha.

She would find out.

Fuck.

I looked toward the ceiling.

"Moon Goddess..."

Kira immediately perked up.

"What are you doing?"

"Praying."

"You?"

"Shut up."

I clasped my hands dramatically.

"Moon Goddess, I would like to formally apologize for arguing with you earlier."

Kira gasped.

"Morgan!"

"I'm apologizing!"

"That is not an apology!"

"I'm trying."

I closed my eyes.

"I was emotional. Please forgive me. And if you could send a tiny medical emergency somewhere within approximately fifty feet of me—nothing fatal, obviously—I would greatly appreciate it."

Kira went silent.

Then—

"You need help."

"I need an excuse."

"You are not abandoning this shopping trip."

"Whose side are you on?"

"Allison's."

Betrayal.

Complete fucking betrayal.

"Come here!"

My eyes opened.

Allison had appeared in front of me holding another dress.

"Let's try this."

"No."

She grabbed my wrist.

"Allison—"

"Move."

"Can you love someone and hate them simultaneously?"

"Yes."

"Good. Because that's exactly how I feel about you."

She smiled sweetly.

"I love you too."

She waved down a sales associate while I trudged behind her.

Allison and I had always been completely different when it came to things like this.

I was feminine.

I liked dresses.

Makeup.

Nice shoes.

Doing my hair.

But Allison?

Allison took femininity and turned it into a competitive fucking sport.

Shopping.

Salons.

Facials.

Nails.

Hair.

She could spend an entire day doing those things and call it relaxing.

I would rather have dental surgery without anesthesia.

Okay.

Maybe not.

But close.

And today I was especially miserable because my body was shutting down.

I'd barely slept in more than thirty hours.

I'd been too excited before the flight.

Then I'd packed.

Then I'd traveled.

Then I'd listened to a pup cry across an entire fucking ocean.

Then I'd treated an injured airport worker.

Then breakfast.

Lily.

Ryan.

Now this.

My body was begging me to lie horizontally on literally any available surface.

At this point, I would have slept on the floor beneath the clothing rack.

"Oh, Morgan," Kira sighed. "Stop being dramatic. We are going to the Ball."

"I'm not in the mood."

"You will be."

"No."

"Yes."

"Kira."

"Morgan."

I rolled my eyes.

"I'll help you sleep tonight," she offered. "I'll stay quiet. No running around your head. No waking you up. You can sleep like a pup."

I narrowed my eyes.

"What's the catch?"

"We go to the Ball."

"Why do you care so much?"

Silence.

I waited.

"Kira?"

"Because we haven't been home for one in years."

Reasonable.

Still...

There was something in her voice.

Excitement.

Restlessness.

I dismissed it.

Kira loved Pack gatherings.

She loved running.

Dancing.

Music.

Anything that gave her an excuse to make my life more complicated.

My phone vibrated.

Ryan.

A picture appeared on the screen.

He was holding up a tuxedo.

This one.

Another message arrived.

So you can match me tomorrow.

I stared at it.

There was nothing wrong with the message.

Couples coordinated for formal events all the time.

It was actually sweet.

Except...

He hadn't asked.

I looked at the picture again.

He'd already chosen his tuxedo.

And apparently, whatever gown I purchased needed to coordinate with it.

A tiny wave of irritation rolled through me.

Maybe I was just tired.

I typed:

Pretty.

Three dots appeared immediately.

Send me pictures of the dresses before you buy one. I'll help you choose.

I stared at the screen.

No.

I didn't know why that was my immediate reaction.

But it was.

No.