LOGIN“... And do you, Irina, daughter of Luka and Maria Sabalenka - God rest their souls - take this man, Neo McKinney, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love, to hold, and to submit wholly, for better for worse, in sickness and in health, in wealth and in poverty, and through whatever fate may choose for you both, till death do you part?”
“I-I do..”
Part of the vow had been slightly ridiculous to Irina because; yes, nobody knows tomorrow and all that, but, ‘in poverty?’ For the McKinney family? There was almost no way in hell that could happen. Anyway…
“With that bit done,” the officiant, a man in his 60s, started, “Neo, please proceed to place the ring on her finger.”
And Neo did. Whether it was intentional or not, Irina couldn't tell, but Neo made sure to look her straight in the eyes as he put the ring on her finger, and it made her incredibly uncomfortable. It was as though he wanted her to know that she was now totally his.. Was she, though?
“I present this ring to you as a token of my commitment and dedication to you,” Neo said gently as he slid the ring on her finger. He said it with so much depth that Irina couldn't help but think that Neo was probably taking this too seriously.
When her turn came, she was so nervous that she dropped the ring, much to whispers and mumbles from the small crowd of family and friends at the beach, most of which were Neo's.
“Pathetic,” she heard someone say. And that voice sounded too familiar for her to get it mixed up. Margaret McKinney, of course it was.
However, Irina's chief bridesmaid, Allison , helped her pick the ring and whispered in her ear, as she gave it back, “Get it together, Irina, this is the finish line, don't screw up.”
And so Irina took a deep breath and took Neo's hand to put the ring on his finger. She was supposed to say something, like he had, but she was quite unsure what to say, so where what she eventually blurted came from, she had no idea:
“I'm not perfect, I know there's nobody perfect but I'm probably the most imperfect person on earth, but I will do all that I can to be all that I can for you.. And I hope that I can be enough..”
As she slid the ring on his finger, applause broke out. She looked up at Neo and he was actually smiling. Even the officiant looked pleased. Irina cleared her throat in nervousness. Was she enjoying this too much?
“I hereby pronounce you, man and wife,” the officiant’s voice boomed again, “You may kiss the bride.”
As Neo moved in and held her waist, she closed her eyes. The kiss was first a tentative one, but then Neo slid his tongue into her mouth, and she wanted to pull back - because this was supposed to be Anna's moment! - but her body betrayed her and she felt amazingly boneless against him. It ended about six seconds later, when Neo broke it off. And then, the audience rose and applauded the newest couple in the city of Tampa.
***
After the ceremony, the bride and groom went for a little chit chat with their respective well-wishers before they'd eventually leave together. Irina walked with Allison towards Zach, who'd come in a smooth, red suit. The $1 million Irina had given to him was clearly at work.
“So.. Mrs McKinney, huh?” Allison teased.
Irina laughed nervously. “Well, yeah I guess, it all just felt a little weird.. I couldn't stop thinking of Anna.. I mean, I wore her gown, I stood in her place, I kissed her man.. It all feels.. wrong..”
“Trust me, Irina, this is the best case scenario, no matter how bad you feel. And I couldn't help but notice.. That kiss, it wasn't a normal one, was it?”
“At all,” Irina concurred, “felt like he was sending me a message.. It was one of two things, either a reassuring kiss because he could feel my reluctance or a domineering, alpha male kinda kiss.. For sanity's sake, I will believe it was the first.”
By this time, they were already close to Zach.
“Hey, Mrs McKinney!” Zach said, his cheeks flushing red, and clearly a little overexcited. He'd been drinking.
“Babe, don't tell me you got drunk at a wedding where no drinks were shared,” Irina chided.
“Come on, cut me some slack, Irina.. I had to watch you marry some other guy, I know it's an arrangement and all, but still, it doesn't feel good. I had to lighten up somehow,” Zach protested, “but, away from me, how's the new bride feeling?”
“Honestly,” Irina replied, looking towards Neo, who stood with his mother and sister, “I don't know yet..”
***
Neo, meanwhile, wasn't having an easier time of it. Sasha and his mother were not letting up.
“How come her parents were absent? Too ashamed to rep their gold digging daughter?” Sasha whispered maliciously.
“Well, I guess that's what happens when people die, Sasha, they become absent.. Say, why was dad not present for my wedding, again?” Neo fired back.
“Neo! Don't do that!” His mother, Margaret, scolded him.
“Don't do what? Defend my bride? So, it's okay when Sasha does it but God forbid that she get the same card played to her? You're both unbelievable,” Neo said, walking away.
“Don't you walk away from me, Neo!” his mother yelled.
“Can't hear you, mom.. And I don't think I want to,” his sarcastic reply came.
***
As the minutes passed, the guests trickled away, and eventually, Neo and Irina McKinney were riding home in Neo's Rolls Royce, now as man and wife. The first few minutes were icily silent, but then Neo broke the ice.
“Irina.. How're you feeling?”
She looked at him to try to read where the question had come from, sarcasm - which he was master of - or genuineness. Surprisingly, it was the latter, because he was looking her in the eyes, and so she answered.
“There's no one word for it, Neo. I feel a lot of things; like I've betrayed my sister, like I've made the best possible decision, like I should run away, like I don't know what I'm doing.. There's no one word.”
Neo nodded his head gently. “Believe it or not, that's how I feel, too. I wonder what Anna would do to me when she wakes up.. But that's a problem for later. What's important, right now, is that I've fulfilled the requirement set by my father, and now I can run the company unprohibited. I think you should also focus on the primary goal, whatever that is, for you. Whether it's the money, or preserving the bridal spot for your sister…”
“... Or knowing what it feels like to be with a man who has his life in order,” Irina blurted.
Neo looked at her, very confused. And then he laughed. “Seriously?”
Irina nodded. “Of course, the money and my sister's interests came first, but.. I wanted to know how it would feel to be with a man who I know won't get himself into trouble.. who's not a wildcard. I mean, I love my boyfriend to death, but he's an erratic guy, you know? You're the opposite. You're intentional. I want to know what it'll feel like to be in your space.”
Neo smirked. “You're smarter than you look, Irina, and I like smart people.”
She smirked back. But then, Zach's words at the hospital came back to her, and she decided to have that conversation with her.. husband.
“So, um, Neo.. What are we.. How are we going to.. Do you expect..?” She couldn't find the words, but Neo seemed to be ahead of her.
“..Sex?” Neo smiled and she looked away, embarrassed. He knew, all right.
“Well, here's the thing.. We're married, by law, so it won't be wrong, in any way. But I appreciate that you’d want to be fair to your boyfriend, and to Anna. Left to me, I really don't mind, but it comes down to you. What do you want?”
Irina thought for a moment. The kiss had been intense and her body seemed to have no resistance to him, and although she knew that she would've liked to know what it would feel like, what he would feel like… Damn.
What was the best reply to give? What did she want?
A year.It was a Sunday morning in December and Irina was standing at the kitchen island drinking actual coffee — real coffee, the altitude-asking machine, the good kind — because Anya had finally, definitively, conclusively stopped making her body hostile to coffee at around the four month mark and she had celebrated this development with a level of enthusiasm that Neo had described as disproportionate and she had described as completely appropriate.She was drinking her coffee.And listening.The mansion had a different sound now. Not a different structure — same marble floors, same chandelier, same three sitting rooms and formal dining room and library and east wing. Same Pete in the garden. Same Mrs. Paulson in the kitchen. Same iron gates at the end of the driveway that were still taller than her old apartment building.But the sound was different.On Sunday mornings specifically the sound was: Zara at the piano.She'd been having lessons for six months — a teacher named Mr. Kow
She woke up at three in the morning.Not dramatically — no movie moment, no sudden gasp, just an awareness that arrived quietly and sat with her until she was sure enough to do something about it. She lay in the dark for a few minutes taking stock of what her body was telling her and her body was telling her clearly that tonight was the night.She turned over."Neo," she said.He was awake immediately. That was the thing about the last month — he'd been sleeping the way people slept when they were half-waiting for something, one ear always pointed at the world."Yeah," he said."It's time," she said.He was out of bed before she'd finished the sentence.She'd told him once, early in the pregnancy, that she needed him to be calm in the delivery room.He'd said he would be calm.She'd looked at him with the expression she'd developed for moments when Neo McKinney's self-assessment and observable reality were in tension and said "Neo."He'd said he would try to be calm.She'd accepted th
Sasha planned it for three weeks.Irina knew this because Sasha was constitutionally incapable of doing anything without it being visible — the planning showed up in phone calls that ended suspiciously fast when Irina walked into a room, in a text thread between Sasha and Mrs. Paulson that Irina accidentally saw the notification for and pretended she hadn't, in Zara's barely contained energy every time the subject of the party came up which Zara referred to as the party in the tone of someone who knew more than they were telling."You know something," Irina told Zara one morning at the kitchen island. Zara looked at her pancakes."Zara.""I'm not allowed to say," Zara said, to the pancakes."Who told you that.""Sasha," Zara said. And then, realizing she'd given something away: "I mean. Nobody."Irina looked at her.Zara ate a blueberry."You're very bad at secrets," Irina said."Sasha said the same thing," Zara said. And then: "I mean—"Irina pressed her lips together.Neo, from behi
She was showing properly by October.Not the subtle, is-she-or-isn't-she showing of the early months that she'd been concealing under specific clothing choices and strategic positioning. The actual, unambiguous, nobody-needs-to-ask showing. The kind that Zara had identified immediately and clinically on the first morning as you have a big tummy and which had been expanding steadily ever since with the cheerful indifference of a baby that had a timeline and was keeping to it regardless of anyone's feelings about visibility.Irina had stopped trying to conceal it around the time Zara started talking to the bump. This had started on a Thursday.Zara had come into the kitchen, found Irina at the island, walked up to her, looked at her stomach, and said "hello" to it with the matter-of-fact directness she brought to most things.Irina had looked down at her."She can't hear you yet," Irina said. "Well — she can hear things but—""Hello," Zara said again, to the bump. Louder this time. In c
He went back on a Monday. Six weeks after the shooting. Dr. Reeves had said five, Neo had said four, they'd compromised on six in the specific way they compromised on things which was Irina stating a position and Neo recognizing it as correct and not admitting that immediately. She drove him. Not Curtis — she drove him herself, which he hadn't expected and didn't comment on, just got in the passenger seat with the specific composure of a man who had decided that being driven by his fiancée to his first day back at his company was not a thing that required comment. Atlanta in the morning. The commute crowd. The city doing its operational weekday thing. She pulled up outside McKinney Industries and looked at the building — all glass and steel and architectural confidence, the building that had made her feel small the first time she'd stood in front of it — and then at Neo beside her. He was looking at it too. "How does it feel," she said. He considered it honestly. "Different,"
The chandelier got her.Irina had predicted this. Had known from the moment Zara asked about it in the arrivals hall that the chandelier was going to be the first significant moment in the mansion and she was right. Zara walked through the front door, looked up, and stopped completely. Backpack still on. Yellow jacket still zipped. Head tilted all the way back."That's enormous," she said."It is," Irina agreed."It's bigger than our whole flat in Auckland," Zara said. "I said the same thing," Irina said. "Approximately." Zara looked at her. "What did you say exactly.""I said Jesus," Irina said.Zara's eyes went wide. Then she giggled the full kind, the unguarded six year old kind that came from somewhere genuine and had no self-consciousness to it whatsoever and the sound of it filled the McKinney Mansion foyer in a way that the foyer, for all its grandeur, had probably never been filled before.Neo stood slightly behind them.He was looking at Zara.At the jaw. The eyes. The specif
Gerald called on a Wednesday.Neo took it in the study and Irina knew from the quality of the silence coming through the door that whatever Gerald had found had graduated from alarming to something worse. She was in the library when he came in twenty minutes later, she looked at his face and put he
They moved to the library.Not because anyone suggested it, just because that was where the serious conversations went. It was like the room had a gravitational pull for anything that required actual honesty and they'd both stopped questioning it weeks ago.Irina sunk into her armchair. Neo sat on
She didn't tell him the next day like she said.Monday came and went and she had many reasons to not have the conversation — he had an early call, then a late call, then Gerald sent through new information that put him in that focused distracted place and she told herself the timing was wrong and w
She bought it on a Thursday afternoon.Not from a pharmacy anywhere near the mansion — she wasn't ready for that level of proximity between this particular purchase and her actual life. She asked Curtis to drop her at a grocery store on the other side of Midtown, told him she needed some personal t







