The journey back to the Clear Mountain Clan territory is a longer than the previous one. Reason being that we have more injured shifters to carry. Amongst everyone, we just had two healers who were drained after a few hours.We have to pause more frequently to hunt food and get fresh water. Some of the injured shifters are healing quickly but those with grievous injuries aren’t.Sarah has taken charge quickly and while I actively avoid her, it seems she doesn’t quite like it.“I’ll go bring some fresh water,” I tell Damon as he helps out one of the injured shifters.Sarah walks towards me, “Are you going to get water?”I nod, silently.“I’ll go with you. We need more-““You don’t have to,” I say quickly, stepping back. “I’ll bring as much as you need.”She frowns, “I have-““You’re needed here,” I don’t let her get a word in edgewise,I see Aliya watch me with a strange expression and when I leave, I notice that she’s following me.“I’m not running away
“I have no reason to be there anymore,” I tell, quietly. “I was never built to be an Alpha. The only way I managed to keep the pack running was by following the guidelines you had set in place. But after you left, the pack’s progression came to a standstill.”Sarah’s face is taut with tension but I hope she will understand.. Because this whole time with her has showed me that while she still does have feelings for me, the scars on her soul are too deeply engraved.“I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to try and win you back especially now that I know what you went through,” I confess, wearily. “I just want you to be happy. And that’s never going to happen with me around, I’m always going to be a constant reminder of more pain, I don’t want to put you through that.”My hands ache with the desire to hold her but I refuse to allow myself that, “With you by my side, I never had any problem living in that pack. You were the reason I called it home. But without you, I don’
Shocked, I pull away, reeling with the force of the bond as it settles within me, “What have you done?”Sarah doesn’t seem to care about the horror in my voice, her lips pressed together, the blood on her lips giving her an almost wild look.Her voice is tense, “Making the decision.”Her eyes are still wet but there is a determined look in them, “I can’t let you run away. Now now. If you had wanted to run away then you shouldn’t have acted the way you have over these past few weeks. When Peter was trying to court me, messed up as it was, you kept getting in his way. You think I was ever going to find somebody better than you? You said so yourself! You staked your claim on me. I’m just finishing what you started, Lucas!”Her voice is growing fiercer by the second and I see a glimpse of the old Sarah in her. “Do you know what this means?” I ask, frustrated, and yet there is a strong sense of relief within me that makes me weak at the knees as I feel Sarah’s presence withi
SarahBeing back in the pack is difficult in a way that I never imagined it would be. It is everything I wanted. This is everything I wanted. And I’m grateful Lucas and I have decided to heal together. I know this was ultimately the right decision for both of us. It’s just…I move from beneath his touch. Lucas and I went back to sleeping in the same bed together right away.I feel safer that way. I’m a comfort to him. And it feels so natural and yet so strange at the same time.I sit up with my knees brought to my chest. I watch my sleeping mate. He breathes slowly, like he’s caught in some dream.My mind flashes back to him with Carmine. Out of my control, I imagine what they did together. I think of her hands on him. His hands on her.The trauma Lucas went through is clear. If he had been in his right mind, I know for sure he wouldn’t have wanted it. He wouldn’t have chosen this.Still, I went through so much. The pain was overwhelming. And this isn’t as easy as just choos
SarahLucas looks uncomfortable and I still love him. The connection is still there. So, I want to do everything I can to ease that feeling for him.Yet I’ve learned that sometimes people just need space. We’ll need lots of space to grow from this. So, I wait. I allow him to take his time.“Maybe we could go on a date tonight,” he says. “Just you and me. Everyone loves Fergus. We’d easily be able to find someone to watch him.“I don’t know. I think we just need to reconnect a little bit. Would you want to go on a date with me?”He looks so vulnerable in this moment. I want to hold him and never let him go. I want to assure him I’d go anywhere with him, as long as I could be with him.Pain still holds me back though. It keeps me from being my full self around him. I know it’s not his fault, but I still can’t fully let go of all he put me through.“I…” I hesitate until I look into the eyes of my mate. “I’d like that. I’d love that. Where would you like to go?”“A surprise,” he
LucasThe date last night changed things; I can feel that. It brought us closer together. It was exactly what we needed.Still, sometimes something feels off. Things are still a little odd as we go about our day the next day.We’re working towards something better, a glorious future together. Yet it’s going to take time to work through this. I know I need to be patient, but that can be difficult.I can sense the shift within her. It’s too noticeable to ignore. And I wonder if she’s aware of it. Or if this will simply become our new norm.Guilt swamps me as I watch Sarah try to absorb all of the changes that have happened since she left. I can tell it’s unsettling for her.It’s unsettling for me too. It makes me wish I hadn’t done anything in her absence. Maybe I should’ve just left things how they were. I don’t know what to say to make it better.So, we don’t talk as I make sandwiches and Sarah puts together a fruit salad. We pack the canvas bag around each other. Then, I scoo
SarahMy heart pounds as I look around. I feel so stupid, so irresponsible. I’m the worst mother and the worst mate. I let my jealousy, hurt, and fear get the best of me. That’s why I pushed Lucas even though I know he’s been traumatized by all of this. That’s why I lost sight of my son.Just the thought of her clouds my eyes in visions of red. I think of his hands on her. Her wrapped up with him. I think about all the torture I’ve been through.Yet its lingering presence is just making things worse. It’s ruining everything. I know I need release it.First, I need to find my son.I turn to Lucas, desperate and scared. “Please tell me you saw where he took off to,” I beg him. I know we should’ve been watching him more closely. I know I shouldn’t have been so distracted by the past. “I don’t know,” Lucas admits, his body growing as tense as mine is. “Let’s focus. We’re bonded to him. We should be able to find him.”I try to look past the worry to focus on that. I’ve never l
LucasMy heart warms at all of this. I know it doesn’t erase my past mistakes, but if she thinks I’m a good person, or at least if I’m good enough for this, then maybe there’s some hope for me. Maybe I’m not completely ruined.That’s all I need, really. I need hope. I need to know that there’s something salvageable about me. And here, I find it.As Annabella tells us all about the fairies, I connect more with Sarah since we’re sharing this experience together.We let Fergus go again, though this time keeping a much closer eye on him. After that fright, I’m anxious to look away for even a second. Though there is so much to look at.Fireflies flicker among the fairies, casting light even though it’s still bright outside. Under the leaves, this whole area glows. It’s a fantasy land. It’s magical.We come across a stage made out of a fallen log with fairies dancing around on it. They look excited when they see us.“Visitors!” a fairy with red curls, fire eyes, and gold wings says