4. Awakening

Angel

I looked again at the hazel-eyed man, and my mark tingled for a second time.This time, the feeling radiated all over my body, making goosebumps rise everywhere. Nope, those weren’t the sexy kiss-my-neck goosebumps but rather the haunting ones.

Even though his beautiful eyes, and his very presence brought me some comfort, his intensity shook my whole being, pushing to the surface feelings that I’d been ignoring.

Inhaling deeply, I opened my eyes wide and tried to get my bearings just like someone who wakes up from a strange and uncomfortable dream. The kind of dream in which you try to turn on the light, except there is no lamp, only darkness surrounds you. It doesn’t matter how hard you try, you can’t open your eyes.

Yet, now it seemed that my eyes were wide open with the haze fading away from my mind. Somehow, the simple fact of looking at this stranger’s hazel eyes made me wake up.

“Grant, come here,” someone, probably his Beta, called him aside and after giving me one last look, he turned around for a moment.

Grant, so that was the name of the hazel-eyed man.

My gaze wandered to my surroundings, and I spotted Aaron talking to the Alpha Blake guy. I could hardly hear them since my mind was swirling, pretty much screaming with all the thoughts I seemed to have repressed in the last few days.

I saw Alpha Hunter hugging his Luna Clair. There was so much love in his eyes — love and not only lust. It was beautiful to watch. It was a pity that my cousin Bea couldn’t come, but I totally got it. She was heavily pregnant with twins. Way too pregnant to travel.

“There is something about this man, Angel. Those hazel eyes make me feel at peace. I am confused; we should get closer to our mate, I don’t know what to feel,” Sia whimpered in my mind. This time, though, I ignored her completely; I had to follow my gut.

Once again, my eyes met the stranger’s hazel ones. He too couldn’t take his eyes off me – well, of course not, I was a weirdo staring at him. The normal thing to do is to look back, right?

My eyes finally roamed down to myself.

Hell, what was I doing? All of this — dress, make-up, uptight ceremony— it wasn’t me. Suddenly, I felt myself suffocating in this dress, inside my own skin. I had to leave this place at once.

This wasn’t my element. My place. The woman wearing this fancy dress and flashing this numb smile wasn’t me.

“Aaron. I need some air, I can’t breathe properly. I need to go outside–” I mind-linked him, which cost my swirling mind a great effort.

“Sweetheart, not now. We are in front of all the important people,” he replied, taking a few steps closer to me and squeezing my hand.

“Aaron, I am not feeling well. I can’t breathe. I can’t go on with this–” I added, feeling the skin of my face burn slightly as my blood roamed there, making me flush.

“Angel!” his voice carried the undertone of an all-too-real dire warning. Sia whined inwardly and started walking in circles inside my mind. I could feel how lost and confused she was. Nevertheless, I felt the fog in my mind lifting, allowing me to see things clearly.

“I can’t go on with this, Aaron!” I repeated into his mind, loud and clear.

“Excuse us,” he said to the crowd, wrapping his arm around mine. Instead of taking me to the balcony for some fresh air, he led me upstairs to the bedroom. I didn’t stop him, I didn’t care. I only wanted to talk to him and figure things out.

I couldn’t accept being away from Stella, not even for a few days. It was absurd! I wouldn’t accept leaving my pup. She was my child, just like any pup I would eventually have with Aaron would be. I couldn’t give up on myself, my dreams, never mind my damn personality!

Closing the bedroom door behind him, Aaron started, “What was this little scene, Angel? Are you out of your mind?”

“I’m not out of my mind. Rather, I can think clearly now, and I can’t go on with this,” I told him, feeling more like myself than I had since my dad died.

“Go on with what? Do you need to change dresses?” he asked in a wry tone.

“What? Yes… but no. That’s not my problem! I can’t become your Luna today. I am sorry, but I want to postpone the Mate Ceremony. I will do it in some time when I can feel fully like myself again. I am still grieving and lost.”

“Angel, I gave you three days. I was way more patient than any Alpha or mate would be.” He narrowed his grey eyes at me, a huge frown on his face. I knew Bea’s mate and that made me know for a fact that Alpha Aaron’s statement was pure bullshit.

“I need more than that, Aaron. Much more than that. I need to have Stella with me, she is my pup. I can’t give up completely on my training either. We have to find a way, a compromise, maybe I can do it part-time–” he cut me off as he seemed to like doing.

“You are completely out of your mind! You should grow up and behave like a Luna, Angel! Honour your duty, respect the Goddess’ match and your Alpha. You won’t train; you are a Luna, not a soldier to be killed in the battlefield. You can visit Stella later. Now, you will put yourself together, go back with me and greet the ranked wolves that are waiting downstairs. After the compliments, we will have the ceremony, followed by me mating and marking you!” His words resonated both with anger and authority.

“No, Aaron. We have to postpone it. I am not ready. We aren’t ready. There are many things to be said and done befo–”

“No! I won’t postpone anything! You won’t humiliate me in front of all Alphas! We will have the ceremony today.” he exclaimed, pulling me towards the door with him.

“No! I can’t do it. I don’t want to hurt or humiliate you, but I just can’t do it.” I couldn’t violate myself or even our relationship. If we started this way, this mating would be a disaster. I couldn’t be his mindless doll for a minute longer.

Sia’s whimpers were filling my mind, but I pushed them to the back of my mind to open space for me to listen to myself, my intuition and my desires.

“If you want to behave like a mutt, you will be treated in the same way,” he almost barked, striding towards me, his eyes glowing dangerously. His wolf was on the surface and was ready to pounce. My feet moved on their own accord, taking a few steps back as I sucked a lungful of air.

“Stay calm, Angel. He won’t hurt us,” Sia’s voice was quiet, weak.

He pushed me onto the bed and left the room, locking the door behind him. I filled my desperate lungs with a long inhale and sat up. Once I steadied myself, I took the ridiculous dress off and put on my denim pants and a tank top. Not even a minute after I was ready, Aaron barged into the room once again.

“I told everyone that the ceremony was cancelled because you got your heat all of a sudden, and I had to take care of you. Lay on your back. You are not ready to be a Luna, but I won’t wait a minute further to claim what is rightfully mine,” he ordered.

“Angel, don’t act on impulse!” Sia told me what my dad used to tell me almost on a daily basis.

Breathing deeply, I tried to control myself and not snap at him. Like what the hell, Dude!

“Aaron, no!” I said, taking a few steps closer to him to run my fingers down his chest, “We shouldn’t do it like that. Mating for the first time after this fight, with so much anger. That’s not how it’s supposed to be.”

“We were doing things properly before you ruined it, Angeline!” he narrowed his gleaming eyes at me. His fingernails elongated into claws, and his voice became even more grave — his wolf was freaking out. “You insist on denying your Alpha!”

In a fast movement, he pulled me onto the bed and took something from the drawer. Straddling my hips and holding my hands over my head, he immobilised me. No! He couldn’t do that! To my relief, he only took a syringe and injected something in my arm. Wait, an injection! Suddenly, I wasn’t so relieved anymore.

“What is in it?” I asked, squirming like a dying animal, trying to free myself from his heavy and firm grasp.

“Wolfsbane. You won’t talk to anyone or leave this room until you start to behave properly. You will give yourself to me. Not in this room or now. You will have to do much better than that to fix your mistake, namely being mated and marked by me in front of the whole pack,” he declared, looking intently into my eyes, his weight still kind of crushing my body.

“What?” I’ve read about these public mating things that Alphas did both in their human and wolf form. It was such a primitive and weird tradition that no one had followed it in the last one thousand years.

“You heard me.” Aaron moved away from me and stood up. Despite him being out of his mind, I followed him.

“Aaron. You can’t do that. It is absurd. This is not how mating and love are supposed to be!” I exclaimed, tears burning down my eyes.

His heavy hands held my shoulders down and the look in his eyes was of pure threat.

“Don’t force me to put you back in your place. I don’t want to beat you, so you better start behaving properly once again.”

“Beat me?” I asked in shock. According to everything Sia said, our mate would be unable, incapable of hurting us and now he is coming with such a threat, “You are my mate! Don’t you have any honour? You can’t beat your own mate!”

Without taking his hands off me, Aaron looked into space, seemingly thoughtful for a moment, “You are right, Angel. I will do the honourable thing.” He moved towards the door and opened it, but instead of leaving, he called his Beta. “ John, come here now!” Aaron ordered and his confused-looking Beta came into the room.

“Get the paddle and show this little bitch to her place!” he commanded, pointing to a shelf in front of the bed.

“Alpha–” John gulped hard, his eyes popping open.

Shock washed over me. Sia trembled so much inside my mind that my flesh started quivering anyway. Still, I didn’t take a step back; I wouldn’t give him the taste of seeing the fear in my eyes. This man wasn’t a mate but rather a monster.

“Do as I say!” Aaron yelled.

“But she is the Luna–”

“She is as worthy as a Pixie whore and as low as an Omega! Beat her now!”

Even though the wolfsbane burning through my veins made Sia and me weak, I tried to resist and struggled against his forceful grasp, fighting with every ounce of strength I had left. My body squirmed away frantically, but it was of no help; Aaron was stronger, and with ease he placed me on the bed, immobilising me.

“Fire away! Or else I will beat you, and you will be forced to beat her. One on the face and the rest on this ass, legs, arms! I will turn her around and you go for the belly.” Aaron ordered, spanking my butt as he forced me to lay on my belly.

His Beta did what he said, though I didn’t let out a whimper. I couldn’t fight, but I refused to show any sign of defeat.

As soon as Aaron was satisfied and the exposed skin of my arms and belly were all bruised and purple, he ordered the Beta to leave. With the wolfsbane in my bloodstream, I couldn’t heal as fast as I was supposed to.

Swallowing the cry of pain that threatened to come out of my dry throat, I stared at Aaron’s grey eyes.

“Angel please, don’t do it! Give him a chance. It was bad, but I am sure he can change with love and time. He is our mate, you can’t do it” Sia cried in my mind.

No, he couldn’t change. He had just shown his true colours and some things shouldn’t ever be forgiven.

I started, yet I wasn’t able to finish my sentence, “I, Angeline Chantara, reject you Alpha–”