Chapter Five : Confusion

I woke up with warm tears in my eyes, my heart thumping loudly inside my ribcage.

 

"W-what is this feeling?" I mumble before wiping away the tears with my hand.

 

Once I calm myself down, I blankly stare at my ceiling. It's still a bit dark outside my window, but I can already hear early birds chirping outside.

 

"... is there a reason why I always have this kind of dream?"

 

I always wonder... why is it that every time my birthday neared, I will have this kind of dream?

I don't even think this is anything related to my memories before the car accident.

 

Yet...

 

"There is no point in thinking all of this if only I can find some answer... then maybe I will feel a little more at ease? Or will I only feel more confused?" mumbling to myself like this is only making my head hurt.

 

Ah! I forgot about what Airel has told me!

Quickly sitting up on my bed is a bad move. I can feel my world spinning lightly as my head start pounding. 

 

"Ugh... what kind of situation is this!?" I quietly shouted as I cover my face with my pillow.

 

I still have to face Airel and gave her some answers regarding her explanation yesterday.

.

.

.

"What's with the long face?" my brother asks me once I enter his car.

 

I stare at my reflection in the car window, and yeah... I look pretty horrible.

 

"...Nothing. I just didn't sleep well last night," I answer before closing my eyes as I lean my head on the glass.

 

"..."

 

The sound of the car engine starting broke the quiet atmosphere.

 

"... do you — are you still having a hard time sleeping at night?" my brother asks after a whole minute passed.

 

I open my eyes before staring at the houses we passed by.

 

"Yeah, from time to time."

 

"..."

 

Why is he being quiet like this? I glance at my brother who is being quite unlike how he used to be.

His hand is gripping a bit tight on the steering wheel while he has this... grim expression?

 

"Is something wrong?" I ask worriedly, maybe he quarreled with Jane last night? Although it is unlikely to happen...

 

He briefly glances at me before letting out a sigh.

"...It's nothing. Have you told this to mom?"

 

"No, I haven't."

After that, the ride to the school became quiet... unlike how it used to be. I am still worried about what is it about. Though, right now, I still have something I needed to fix. And that is this current awkward situation I am currently in

 

"..."

"..."

 

Because of how we left our conversation yesterday, Airel and I are currently facing each other in an awkward atmosphere. We are inside the greenhouse at a semi-small table where we are eating our lunch. 

To be honest, I don't know why she still ended up sitting here with me after I didn't believe her yesterday. But I am kind of thankful she still wants to be here with me. If I were to forget all that weird stuff from yesterday, I... truly want to be her friend.

"I see why you like eating here. It is quite peaceful here..." Airel spoke as a small smile made its way to her lips.

 

"Uh? I mean, yes it is. Actually, about yesterday..." I've answered rather a bit quickly, I can feel my ears reddening because of embarrassment.

 

"You don't have to force yourself to talk about it if it makes you uncomfortable. I understand how... weird it s. And I really can't force you to accept them as they are. The reason I came here... do you have some time after school?" Airel asks as she fiddle with the wrapping of her sandwich.

 

I know I have already said that Airel is a kind person. And I really think she is. I honestly thought she will force me to answer her about yesterday's event, yet she did not. 

 

"After school? Well yes, I don't usually have anything to do... so yes?" I answer her awkwardly since I'm not used to talking casually with anyone other than my brother and Jane.

 

"I see, then would you like to join me and Dania later? We are going to the mall to shop for some clothes," Airel asks shyly.

 

I can't believe this...

What the heck is this cuteness in front of me?! How can she be this cute?! This is illegal!!

 

"S-sure, if it's okay then I would like to join you two," I answer as calmly as I can.

 

I think accepting her offer is good, right? I can finally have some experience of going out with a... friend? At least hope she considers me as a friend.

 

"Really? Then I will tell Dania! I'm sure she will be happy once she heard of this!" Airel said happily before taking a bite of her sandwich.

 

Oh gosh! If only I can take pictures of her cuteness on my phone!.

 

Wait— did she say we are going together with Dania? 'That' Dania?!

.

.

.

"——Using this formula, I want each of you to solve the equation in front of you," I lazily listen to my Math teacher as I play with my pen.

 

It's not like I will be able to solve this equation easily just because she said we can. Forget this stupid equation, I have a problem of my own. Why should I still try and find your X? Math why???

 

As I ponder hard on why should I bother solving the equation, I heard a shout of a familiar voice from outside the classroom window. Since I'm sitting beside the window of my classroom, which is located on the second floor of this building, I can hear shouts and arguments from outside.

 

I quietly peek from the window to try to see what's happening. And there I saw a familiar wavy blonde hair arguing with some girls from the senior year.

 

"—— you should act like your age then! And stop childishly poking your nose on someone else's business!" I heard her shout while pointing her index finger at the senior with short black hair.

 

"How can you talk to me like that!! Just because the school is fond of your so-called 'talents'! That doesn't mean you can act like a Queen Bee here! Remember I'm still older than you are!" the senior angrily replied to her swatting Dania's finger away from her.

 

"Hah! I can't believe this! Are you being serious right now?! If you want to challenge me, then let's go right now!" Dania answers while placing both her hand on her waist, glaring at the senior.

 

If they continue this, they might end up hurting each other and get detention. Should I tell the teacher?

 

As I ponder whether or not I should interrupt them, I heard someone coughing beside me.

 

I flinch before slowly turning around, only to see my Math teacher tapping her black high heels on the tiled floor. Her arms cross in front of her chest as she stares at me intensely.

 

I gulp, out of the worst timing I can get why now?! She witnesses me watching a fight happening outside rather than solving her equation.

Miss Veria is the kind of teacher, who is very strict when it comes to studying. She dislikes it when a student is not paying any attention to what she is teaching, especially... if a student is not solving the equation she gave them.

 

"Looks like Miss Dela Via has something MUCH more interesting rather than joining us. Care to share it with the class?" Miss Veria said sarcastically as all my classmates stare at me. I can see some of them whispering and giggling with one another while some are just yawning.

 

My heart keeps hammering inside my rib cage as my ears burn red in embarrassment. I can feel my tears already forming in the corner of my eyes as I lower my gaze. I dislike this kind of attention since I don't really know how to deal with this. 

 

"Well? Cat got your tongue? Next time try to pay more attention, or I'll have no choice but to send you to detention. Understood?" Miss Veria said in a cold voice that made me shiver as I froze on the spot.

 

My classmates didn't even bother hiding their laughter as they enjoy the show that I gave them.

 

I nod my head slowly while biting my lower lip.

 

"Good, pay more attention so you can at least get a better grade to make your brother proud," she whispers in my ear, her lips forming a small smirk before she walks away.

 

My hands have gone cold, as cold sweat drips from my forehead. I let my hair cover my face while trying not to cry.

Why is it always like this? What did I ever do wrong to them?

—

After what happened, I kept my head low even after all my afternoon classes are over. I don't dare to face my classmates after what just happened.

 

Only a few more students are inside the classroom, and I'm just waiting for them to leave so I can leave without them openly staring at me.

 

"Tsk! Look at this loser, how pathetic," I flinch after hearing one of my classmates say those words in a loud voice.

 

"Now, now... let's just go, looks like she's just waiting for us to leave," another said pushing her chair loudly beside me.

 

"Yeah! Come on! It's already difficult enough to be inside of the same room as her. I can't wait until the school staffs realize she doesn't belong here," another said while saying those words loudly in my ear.

 

Then they left the room giggling before closing the classroom door loudly.

 

"..."

 

I slowly lifted my face from my desk, my eyes are blurry with tears streaming from my face.

 

My shoulders are shaking as I keep biting my lips until I can taste my blood. I clenched my skirt tightly as my hair completely became a mess while covering half of my face.

 

I stayed there like that, frozen and crying quietly in that corner. All alone other than my thought swirling around my head. I don't understand why they accepted me in this school only for them to allow their students to bully me. Even the teachers here do not want me here. Yet... Why am I here in the first place?

Just what did I do wrong?

 

Once I've managed to calm myself down, I grab my handkerchief from inside my bag and wiped my remaining tears. I comb my hair slightly, still allowing it to cover my puffy red eyes.

 

"Aimee?" I didn't realize someone has opened the classroom door and now is standing inside staring at me.

 

"What happened?!" Airel's worried voice made my heartthrob in pain as I look away from her while fixing my things.

 

She grabs my hand, before forcing me to look at her.

 

"Who made you cry?!" Airel's eyes are looking at me, concern etched inside them.

 

Why is she being like this? Is it just because I'm a so-called 'Princess'?

 

"No one," I coldly said to her, I tried to walk away from her but she immediately stopped me.

 

"Aimee... you can tell me anything. I'm going to help you—," I cut her off with a glare. I can see she was taken aback by how I responded.

 

"No, thank you! If you are just doing all this, because you believe that I'm that 'Princess' you are looking for—," I tried to be harsh on her, but I managed to find myself shutting the words that I was going to say. The moment I see tears forming in the corner of her eyes, I stop... and look away from her.

 

"I-I'm s-sorry... please leave me alone for today," I weakly said before running out of the classroom.