Getting them off my head

 I tried putting all that happened to me today behind my back and stopped thinking about it ,but it was just as if I couldn't hide the thought of Jeff cheating on me with my best friend .

It was just stuck in my head and I couldn't stop thinking about it ,I felt used and betrayed .

I hated this feeling to the core. I don't know why I kept on getting myself into this pain .

I don't deserve any of this but yet it just keeps happening to me ,why was I always unfortunate,I thought jeff loved. 

We had been dating since college and Tessa had been the perfect best friend that I could ever  of but it was just as if I had been fooled  and the both of them just played with me ,they fucking played with my feeling's like it  nothing to them 

I walked into my house and the quietness welcomed me back .

The first thing I saw  the moment I stepped into my living room was me and mom's picture at my graduation from college .

She had the most beautiful smile that anyone Could think of. I knew I couldn't call her at this moment. She was on a date with her boyfriend and I never wanted to disturb her , definitely not now .

"Mom had me at the early age of 18 ,well her parents were disappointed and wanted her to abort me but she refused and kept me ,even my dad never wanted me and I had never seen him till this day ,till now mom is single and she had single handedly trained me up to this level .

I was 24 and mom was 40  but we looked like sisters and whoever saw us would think that I was her junior sister .

,my dad family never cared to look for me and I still didn't care either ,he should go to hell for all I care ,mom had every reason to be proud of me , 

I was definitely making her proud ,I had my own fashion line and I was opening my own Company since I read business 

,I was doing real good for my age and I had a lot of money that I guess was the reasons why I got a l whole lot of admirers and out of all of them I stupidly  choose Jeff how stupid I could be .

He had just gotten engaged a month ago and now today he's in bed with my best friend.

I cleaned the tears that I had in my eyes ,I wasn't going to keep on sulking over someone that doesn't even care about me anymore .

Could feel my phone ringing from My bag but I didn't bother to pick it up .

I was not going to let anyone tell me what to do. I knew mom was the only one calling me right now and for a moment I wondered why she was calling me .

climbing up the stairs I picked out my phone from my pocket and I saw that mom had given me up to 30 missed calls but  I wasn't new to something like this .

she could just be calling me because she wanted to see me and she missed me and I didn't want that kind of attention now there was no need of picking it up .

I climbed up the stairs and I fell on my bed immediately I got in and that moment I let out all of my tears. 

I was in so much pain .

I knew I had done literally everything to make sure this relationship works out but how could he sleep with Tessa ,my best friend ,how could he do something like that after everything I had done to make sure that it works .

I hated the fact that I had to be weak and this way ,I don't want to be like this. How could I even think that I could get him in the first place .

Jeff came from a well to do family ,his dad has one of  the biggest companies in the whole of  New York.

 though they were pretty popular but one thing I knew was the fact that his mom  never like and she did literally everything to make sure that I left his son and I knew one of her reason was the fact that I was raised by a single mother but I just didn't care ,I didn't want to think about it ,I wasn't going to keep thinking about the past .

The sun was already setting in the sky and right in front of me the sky was getting dark and I was still sulking. .

I closed my eyes but the ringing of my phone couldn't stop me ,I was still crying and mom just couldn't stop calling me .

,I picked up the phone from my bag and I immediately placed it on silence ,I wasn't going to fall for such anymore I just wanted to be able to do my own thing and not mom Calling me like I owe her something or I was some kind of commodity that she could just call and order around just the way she likes .

I wasn't going there .

I kept watching the sky go dark and I knew that I Couldn't stop thinking about  what had happened .

 I just had to get the thought out of my head and standing up from my bed ,I grabbed my car keys and Began walking out of the house .

I wasn't going to be  crying over it ,I was done sulking because of them ,they were happy and I just have to be too even if it's going to be for. a second I was done being a weak fellow ,I knew what to do .

I entered my car and began driving off the building.I knew what to do with them.I guess it's time that I showed them what I could really do ,I was going to get drunk and wasted 

I don't care about it anymore .

I needed to get away my sorrow