CHAPTER FOUR

Lucy’s POV 

I arrived at the hospital, rushing through the automatic doors, my feet barely touching the ground. My chest felt tight like it was trying to match Noah’s lungs, failing to breathe right after being teased for calling the wrong woman his mother and even his nanny. 

“Thank God.” I whispered. 

I was relieved to see that Noah was okay. He was sitting in a room. His eyes were puffy from crying, and an oxygen mask was covering his small face.  

“Noah, my dear, are you okay?” I walked toward him slowly. 

The moment he saw me, he whimpered, not with relief, but disgust. 

“Get out!” he shouted, glaring at me. “I want Aunty Blair. Not you.” 

Each word felt like a knife to the heart. My son was mad at me. I walked backwards and let Tom comfort him. He didn’t stop mentioning Blair. 

He was asking for Blair and not me. Even Tom was shocked. He looked helpless, staring at me, mouthing ‘I’m sorry.’ 

I smiled, just a little. Just enough to hide the sting. “It’s okay.” I whispered. “It’s okay, honey.” 

But it wasn’t. I wasn’t.

 I froze at the door, one hand gripping the frame, the other holding my bag like it was the only thing keeping me standing.  

Blair arrived just minutes later. Her heels clicked with a confidence I could never fake. Her voice was a soft lullaby when she entered. 

“Hey, sweetheart.” she cooed, brushing Noah’s hair from his flushed face. 

He lit up like the sun had walked into the room. 

I watched through the glass like I wasn’t his mother, but a stranger who was uninvited and forgotten. Blair was sitting beside him, holding his hand. Tom was on the other side, ruffling his hair gently. 

The perfect picture of a family. And I wasn’t in it. A tear rolled down my cheek. I quickly wiped it, trying to mask my vulnerability.  

Blair came out after calming Noah. 

“Noah’s fine now. I’m sorry.” she said, with that too-perfect smile.  

“Tom told me what happened earlier. Noah’s just in a phase, Lucy. Kids push boundaries. Maybe he sees me more because I’ve been around lately. I promise I’m not trying to—” 

“It’s okay.” I cut in, voice too calm. “I understand.” 

She smiled again, this time almost… pitifully. “I’m here if you need anything.” 

Then she went back inside. Where I couldn’t go. I swallowed my pride for the sake of Noah. Even if it was breaking my heart, I don’t care. 

Back home, the silence felt heavier than usual. I stood in the kitchen for a long time, watching the empty cookie container on the counter, my mind bogged down by the horrible day. 

Tom came in later, jacket slung over his arm. He looked exhausted. But still, he smiled at me, trying to make things better. 

Before he could even say anything, I blurted, “I’m sorry. It was my fault.” I exhaled to hold back tears.. 

“No, Lucy. It wasn’t your fault. I talked to the school.” he said.  

“It was his classmates. They teased him, told him he was a liar for saying you were not his mom. That’s what triggered the attack.” he was trying to comfort me. 

But it didn’t work. Not this time.

 “No,” I murmured. “It was me. I upset him. I embarrassed him.” 

Tom stepped forward and held my shoulders. “Don’t say that. It wasn’t you. It’s those bratty kids.” 

He meant well. But the more Tom tried to convince me that it was kids that were at fault, the more I felt I was the problem. If I didn’t insist on picking him up, this wouldn’t have happened. 

“I’ll go to Noah’s school tomorrow. Those kids won’t get away with this.” he firmly said. 

“Please.” I whispered. “Just let it go. Don’t cause more trouble at the school.” I sighed.

His eyes searched mine. “Lucy, are you sure?” He cupped my cheeks. 

“Yes.” I nodded. 

He sighed. “Fine, but I’ll still need to go there, talk to them about what happened to Noah.”

I smiled weakly. “Okay.”

The Hawaii trip was right around the corner. Two days, to be exact. But I was no longer excited. I just wanted to stay home. If I could just do that. 

It didn’t help that Noah still wasn’t talking to me. I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was starting to hate me. 

“You’re still not packing?” Tom asked, standing by the bedroom door. 

I shook my head, folding one of Noah’s shirts. “I don’t feel like going.” 

“Lucy, don’t say that. This trip might help us reconnect.” he said gently. “Maybe the beach will fix what we can’t say out loud.” 

He was right. There were things that needed to be said out loud. But the hope of that happening felt like sand slipping through my fingers. 

“Come on, Lucy. We can’t cancel this trip. If we do, Noah will hate us more. Do you want that? You know how excited he was.” He held my hand. 

I looked down and sighed. For Noah. “You really think this will help us reconnect?” I asked. 

Tom’s eyes widened, and nodded confidently. He squeezed my hands gently and smiled. 

“Yes, Lucy. I am sure of it.” he said with so much reassurance I actually believed him.

Two days later, the trip to Hawaii came. Noah was very excited. Even Tom and Blair. It was just me who wasn’t.

“Yehey! Hawaii, here we come!”  

The airport was loud and bright. But I only heard one thing, Noah’s laughter and excitement. It was light and loud. He clung to Blair’s hand and Tom’s, and even wore his red baseball cap backwards, just like his dad. 

They were all smiles. All bubbly with laughter and excitement. . 

As for me, I followed behind, dragging the luggage. I looked like a helper. Like an extra in a picture perfect movie. 

Blair carried Noah’s backpack. Tom carried him when he got tired. While I carried everything else. And none of it felt heavier than the ache in my chest. 

That’s when I started to realize...

I shouldn’t have come.