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Chapter 5

Penulis: Year on Year
I didn’t know what time I fell asleep.

The next morning, I was woken up by my phone ringing.

I found my phone in a daze and saw my mom’s number on the screen.

I swiped right to answer the call.

“Joshua Sanders! Look at the time now! Why aren’t you here yet?” My mom’s voice came crashing through the receiver like a ton of bricks. “Your brother is getting engaged today! Our relatives are all here, so how could you, as his elder brother, not be present?!”

I glanced at the time.

It was half past nine in the morning.

“Hurry up. The restaurant your dad booked is in the south of the city. Call for a cab and come here straight!”

My mom hung up without even waiting for an answer.

I threw my phone on the bed and sat up, rubbing my temples.

My bag was still in that house, with my ID, credit card, work phone, house keys, and employee ID badge all in that bag.

These weren’t actually important. What was important was an original copy of a contract I had just signed with my customer last week, which I had to submit to the company for archival purposes on Monday.

The hotel I was staying in right now was about a 20-minute drive away from my house.

I received a call from my mom while in the taxi.

“Where are you now? We’re all waiting for you!”

“Almost there,” I said before hanging up.

The scenery sped outside the window. I leaned against the glass pane as I watched the city I’d lived in for eight years zoom past, suddenly finding everything so unfamiliar.

I stepped out of the taxi at the restaurant.

Three huge tables were booked for the celebration. All my uncles and aunts and even some relatives I couldn’t recognize were there. They were probably distant relatives from my mom’s side whom we seldom met.

Jeff sat at the head of the table right in the middle with Vivian next to him.

My presence made silence ensue in the private room.

However, the boisterous celebration soon resumed.

No one thought I should be reacting in any particular way.

“Joshua is here!” Aunt Tilly was the first to spot me and waved at me with a smile. “Quick, sit down! We’re all waiting for you. Look at how fortunate your brother is, having found such a good partner for himself!”

“Yeah, I heard she has an annual salary of $100,000 and works as a software engineer. She has a bright future ahead of her!”

The relatives were all talking over each other, chattering about the newlyweds, and I could hear everything they were saying clearly.

My mom walked through the crowd and grabbed me by the arm. With a smile on her face, she dragged me to the front.

“You’re finally here. Can’t believe you’re dilly-dallying so much on your brother’s big day.”

My mom dragged me to a seat at the head table, right opposite Vivian and Jeff.

Vivian looked up at me, looking as calm as a stranger.

Jeff bowed his head, looking shy as he subconsciously tightened his hold over Vivian’s hand.

My mom was still smiling as she pushed me toward Vivian. “Joshua, you haven’t congratulated your brother yet.”

Everyone’s gaze landed on me, and I looked at all the faces around me.

Suddenly, I found everything so ridiculous and laughable.

“I do have something to say.”

I looked at Vivian and said emphatically, "Congratulations for finding a steady, down-to-earth, and good man to settle down with.”

I then turned to look at Jeff and said with a smirk, “Are you happy now, stealing my girlfriend from me?”

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  • Not Yours To Give   Chapter 13

    My mom was stunned, and the entire living room quieted down.Even Jeff stopped crying.I put on my jacket, picked up my bag, and headed to the door. I stopped there and said without turning back to look, “This is his choice. Let him suffer the consequences.”As I left the district, my phone rang.It was Chad.“How was the dinner?”“Rather exciting,” I said, wrapping myself tighter in my jacket. I walked along the empty streets and saw fireworks exploding in the night sky from afar. The colorful explosions lit up the night sky. “I’ll tell you all about it next time.”“Where are you headed to now?”“Home,” I said as I looked up to admire the fireworks with a smile on my face. “My own home.”Home was the 430-square-foot apartment with beautiful flowers blooming at the balcony, fresh pasta in the fridge, and a book I was halfway through on the coffee table.I used to think that it was miserable to live there all alone, spend the new year alone, and face a new year alone.Yet n

  • Not Yours To Give   Chapter 12

    “Is that so?” I smiled, but said nothing more.Vivian and Jeff were already there.Jeff was seated on the couch, looking noticeably more haggard than before he was married. There were faint dark circles under his eyes, and his cheeks had hollowed out significantly.Vivian sat next to him, looking worse for wear. The corners of her mouth were turned downward, and there was a heavy, brooding gloom about her.“Vivian, why have you lost so much weight?” my mom asked as she served her more food. “Is work tiring you out? Jeff, why aren’t you taking good care of your wife?”Jeff’s face paled as he forced a smile on his face.Vivian kept silent and focused on eating.The atmosphere was strange over dinner.I sat at a corner of the table, taking my time with my food and not saying a single word.Jeff sat opposite me, occasionally sneaking a few glances at me with a look in his eyes I couldn’t quite place.Was it jealousy, uneasiness, or something else altogether?Cynthia was here as

  • Not Yours To Give   Chapter 11

    One night, Vivian could no longer hold back, and she tried to ask him about it in the calmest tone she could manage while washing the dishes.Jeff was stunned for a moment before tears came streaming down his face. “Is that a complaint about me? You never made my brother wash dishes when you were with him, so why are you complaining about me not doing chores at home when you’re with me now? Does he still have a place in your heart?”Vivian looked at the bubbles in the sink as fatigue washed over her.She wanted to say something, but nothing felt right. Indeed, she couldn’t quite forget me.However, it wasn't that I had a place in her heart. It was the lifestyle that she yearned for—a life where she had food to eat the moment she returned home, someone to do her laundry and keep her house neat and tidy, and nothing to worry about.She only just realized that such a life didn’t appear from nowhere.I was the reason that life was even possible.But it was too late.The final str

  • Not Yours To Give   Chapter 10

    The restaurant felt warm and toasty. Chad poured me a full glass of beer, and the foam overflowed onto the table.“Cheers!” he said as he raised his glass. “To Joshua Sanders for his new life.”I picked up my glass and clinked his, the sound of striking glass crisp and pleasant to the ear.“Cheers.”That night, I drank three bottles of beer, more than the total amount of the beer I’d had over the past five years.Toward the end, I slumped over the table and said something from the bottom of my heart to Chad.“Over the past five years, I thought I was in a relationship, but I was merely her nanny.”Chad swore under his breath, his eyes bloodshot, as he poured me another glass of beer.I didn’t say anything more.However, I knew that from now on, I would never be a nanny to anyone else.Life was good, being alone.One and a half months later, I moved into a newly rented apartment.It had one bedroom and one living area. At a total of 430 square feet, it wasn’t a large space,

  • Not Yours To Give   Chapter 9

    “Arrive earlier tomorrow and help your brother with his suit. Also, what in the world were you wearing during their engagement party previously? It was all gray and not festive at all. Wear something brighter tomorrow and don’t embarrass your brother.”“Got it,” I said, then hung up.The next day, I didn’t wear anything festive.I wore a sharply tailored black suit paired with black leather shoes. My hair was neatly slicked back, and I looked noticeably more refreshed.Chad was waiting for me at the door, and he wolf-whistled the moment he saw me.“How handsome. Are you sure you aren’t going there to stir up trouble?”“Not at all,” I said as I threw my bag over my shoulders. “Just there to watch an entertaining show.”Vivian and Jeff’s wedding was held at a five-star hotel in the east of the city.My mom had spent a fortune just to make everything look good, including booking the largest banquet hall in the hotel and paying for a total of forty tables.There was a huge wedding

  • Not Yours To Give   Chapter 8

    I leaned back in my chair and said calmly, “Let them believe that.”“Come back right now to apologize to your brother!”“Mom,” I called out to her, surprising even myself with my calm. “I’m not going to apologize. Every word I spoke was true, and I didn’t lie or exaggerate things. I simply said what you guys have done. It’s not my fault if the truth embarrasses you.”Silence ensued for two seconds on the other end of the line.My mom then said something that made my heart grow cold. “You’ve always been like this since you were young, inconsiderate toward your brother. I’ve truly brought you up in vain.”She hung up.She had always been saying that since we were young.In her world, the purpose of my presence was to serve Jeff.I put my phone down, opened the PowerPoint slides for this quarter's progress report, and continued working on them.I told myself that it was alright.From now on, I no longer needed to consider anyone else in my decisions.I only needed to consider m

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