Despair And Acceptance

There was no Moon Goddes.

There was no mystical being that answered prayers.

If there was, she wouldn't be in such despair.

Naira could hear the cheers, even in her room, even with the door and windows shut tight. The jubilant, the boisterous booms of laughter over music. It filled the gaps between her strangled sobs.

A faceless woman basking in the worship and devotion of naive creatures that had no one to turn to, little more than an illusion conjured out of desperation amid a sea of confusion and lack of direction.

That's what she was.

A mere illusion conjured in a moment of desperation.

Naira admitted her faith in the Moon Goddess was as flimsy as the wing of a cicada. It might've been due to the destruction of her pack or the tragic loss of her parents.

But whatever the cause, the little bit of faith that pushed her to pray had completely shattered tonight.

Taking off her red dress, she discarded it in a corner of the room, crawled into her bed and covered herself from head to toe.

She didn't know how long she slept.

Someone came into her room and tried to wake her, but she didn't move. She didn't respond.

Her mind seemed to separate from her body as she floated on a void free of pain. She saw her mother and father crowd around her bed with worried expressions. She saw the pack doctor arrive and check on her.

She even saw her Zain sit by her bed and hold her hand.

But she couldn't move a limp.

As if trapped in some sort of spell, she saw herself drift farther and farther away from her body. Then, a gut-wrenching feeling akin to her soul being forcefully torn in half invaded her senses.

Power, hot and violent and immense, poured out from the void. It spat a multitude of colorful threads that spun around her, and intertwined in a net of restricting cage.

With a snap, something seemed to click in place, and the other half of her soul was held captive in the shimmery light of colorful net.

Then darkness descended.

A few days later, Naira finally woke from a six-day slumber.

Weak and disoriented, she stared into space with a vacant look. There was a strange feeling in her heart, an empty void in her soul where once, a presence seemed to reside.

The sunlight streaming through the window warmed her face. It added brightness to the room, but did nothing to banish away the bleak despair.

Naira had a feeling she had lost something very precious.

"Ira, how are you feeling? Are you better now?"

Her heart pounded without her conscious volition. The sound of his voice had once lulled her. Now, it brought back the heart-wrenching pain with full force.

Naira suppressed her feelings, and forced a stiff smile on her face.

"Zain. I'm fine."

"How are you fine? For six days, you ran a high fever and slept like the dead. If it wasn't for your beating heart, we would've assumed the worse."

Zain sat by her side and gently brushed her hair out of her face. "If something happened to you, I wouldn't have been able to go through with my wedding tonight." He faintly whispered.

"Your...your wedding? Zain...you're getting married?"

Tonight? So soon!?

Why? She thought her heart had already died. She believed there was nothing that would ever rise waves as intense as the fact that she wasn't his mate within its depths again.

But facts showed, nothing relating to Zain Adeel would ever cease to hurt her.

"Congratulations, Zain. I wish you happiness."

And she did.

Even as a fresh wave of agony assaulted her senses. Even as her heart felt as if it was being ripped in half.

She wished him happiness, because she loved him.

He would never be hers. Not in heart or soul. 

But she would always love him, as she had loved him for the past 10 years.

And for her, that would be enough.

It had to be.

Zain's eyes flickered. He deeply studied her face as if searching for something. When he seemingly failed to find what he was looking for, he sighed and got to his feet.

"Ira, you've just recovered, so you don't need to attend my wedding. But as my best friend, I would be happy if you could make it."

"As your best friend, how can I miss your big day? Don't worry, I'll be there."

Zain opened his mouth to say something. Then thinking better of it, he swallowed his words and slightly nodded. With a stiff face, he turned and left the room.

"Naira dear, you still haven't recovered. Why did you tell Zain you would appear at his wedding?" A complicated look appeared in her mother's eyes.

She knew about her feelings for Zain, and was probably worried she wouldn't be able to handle the sight of him becoming another woman's husband.

Naira loudly sighed and pushed herself to sit up. "Mom, I'll be fine. Help me choose an outfit, okay?" She tried to smile, but her voice cracked.

Her mother's eyes swiftly filled with tears. Naira glanced helplessly at her father, seeking help through her eyes.

But her father's face...was cloaked with sadness. It was only at this moment that Naira realized the strange tension in the room.

"Dad, Mom, what's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?"

After all, just because she loved Zain, it didn't mean he had to love her back. Naira had accepted this fact with great difficulty. The last thing she wanted was for her parents to start weeping over her heartbreak and refresh her wounds.

"Naira dear..." Her father hesitantly began.

"Karim, do you think this is the appropriate time to break that news?" Her mother immediately cut him off with a sharp, disapproving glare.

Naira felt a headache coming on. She really wasn't in the mood for guessing games right now. "Mom, whether good or bad, if it's something that concerns me, I have the right to know. So...just tell me what's wrong."

Her mother sighed defeatedly and stepped back.

Looking at his daughter's pale face, Karim Dylan's expression became unnatural.

His wife was right. Their daughter had only woken up. If something happened again because of his words...

He suddenly wished he had kept his mouth shut.

"Dad." Naira urged.

"Fine, I'll tell you." Taking a deep breath, Karim walked to the bed and sat on the edge. "Baby girl, you know you're special to us, right? You'll always be our precious daughter no matter what happens."

"Okay..." Naira frowned. Her father's tone made her unsettled. Could it be...something happened while she was out cold? "Dad, whatever it is, please just say it." She pleaded.

"That...baby, you might be wolfless."

Great.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Zain's wedding and her possibly being wolfless placed her in a confused state of mind.

She couldn't understand.

How could she be wolfless? She trained with Zain on a daily basis. Her combat abilities weren't any lower than his.

In fact, no one in the pack could keep up with her when it came to speed. Everyone suspected her to have an alpha blood, making her present situation that much more puzzling. 

"Dear, hurry up. We're getting late."

Hearing her mother's shout, Naira sighed and quickly brushed her hair. As the long strands untangled and pooled over her chest, a distant memory floated into her mind.

"Ira, you have the most beautiful hair in the entire pack. Keep it long. It looks good on you."

Zain.

She kept her hair long for him, but it probably wasn't as beautiful to him anymore, right?

A bitter smile appeared on her face. All these years, Naira had hoped her love would somehow reach Zain. Move his heart and make him see her as more than a friend.

But tonight, she hoped he would never learn how much she loved him.

It would be too awful to see sympathy, and not love in his eyes.

Forcefully suppressing her emotions, she threw her thick mane over her shoulder, picked up the hem of her long white dress, and walked out of her room.

The wedding was held in the back of the packground, beside the only oasis in the desert region. Rows of chairs were lined up in front of a meadow, the seats packed with pack members.

Zain Adeel stood on the dais, looking regal and handsome in his suite, as he waited for his bride.

As she sat between her parents, Naira avoided looking at him and occupied herself with the desert trees and plants blooming in full glory. 

A few minutes passed. Then half an hour.

It was only after an entire hour passed and the bride hadn't made an appearance that she sensed something off.

The pack members were whispering among themselves, their eyes filled with pity, as their ears took in every word of the delta's son.

"I saw her..."

"She left with a bag..."

"A handsome guy...they kissed..."

Though his voice was low, it reached every corner of the open hall.

Naira's mind buzzed. She heard the words loud and clear, but her mind failed to make sense of them.

Jules Hayden...she left. Abandoning Zain?

How could she do that? On the day they were about to get married, no less?

Naira couldn't understand. Marrying the one she loved had been her life-long dream. But for someone else to walk away from the same dream felt so surreal, she couldn't come to terms with it.

In her dazed trance, she failed to notice the gradual decrease in the murmurs around her.

Her mind spun with numerous thoughts, that by the time she returned to her senses and looked towards the dais in concern, dead silence had settled over the crowd.

He wasn't there.

Did he go to look for her?

Worry clouded her features. Naira hoped Zain was okay. 

She was just about to stand to search for him, when a shadow appeared from the side and suddenly knelt at her feet.

"Naira Karim, will you marry me and take me, Zain Adeel, as your husband?"

The words exploded in her mind like a clap of thunder. Naira froze in her seat and stared at Zain in shock and disbelief.