LOGINEvelyn's POVMaddie raised one eyebrow.I immediately corrected myself.“Fine. Even if I am thinking about him, it's only a tiny amount.”Her other eyebrow joined the first one.“An incredibly tiny amount,” I insisted.“Tiny.”“Microscopic.”“Practically undetectable.”Maddie nodded solemnly.“Like the Grand Canyon.”“Exactly.”She pointed at me.“That's not helping your case.”I groaned and dragged both hands down my face.“Okay,” I said, finally surrendering a little. “Maybe I've been thinking about him slightly more than a completely healthy person should.”“Slightly.”“Yes.”“The man whose messages you've reread enough times to qualify as literature?”I ignored her.“The point is,” I continued firmly, “I've decided this is a bad habit and I'm going to fix it.”Maddie looked delighted.Which should've been my first warning sign.“Really?”“Yes.”“No more Julian?”“No more Julian.”“No more Lemon?”“No more Lemon.”“No more checking Instagram to see whether somebody's posted a suspi
Evelyn's POVI had already lost count of how many times this had happened, but somehow Julian and I had managed to stumble into another cold war.For days, I ignored every phone call he made. Every message he sent remained unread or unanswered. And because Julian Hawthorne possessed the kind of persistence that could probably be weaponized under the right circumstances, he naturally attempted several carefully engineered “coincidental” encounters, all of which failed because I had spent the past week leaving home before sunrise and returning long after dark with the single-minded determination of someone conducting an avoidance campaign.Julian, at least, wasn't like Sebastian.He didn't show up outside WHR waiting for my shift to end. He didn't send flowers. He didn't ambush me in parking lots and demand emotional negotiations against my will.I would never admit this out loud, but part of me was disappointed by that.A few days later, Maddie and I were sitting beside a campfire at a
Evelyn's POVA quiet laugh escaped him after that confession, bitter enough that it barely sounded like amusement at all.“That night, you were supposed to meet me,” he continued. “But instead, I watched you kiss your husband in the parking lot, and afterward you even called me just to provoke me.”I closed my eyes harder.Because I remembered all of it.I remembered exactly how reckless and angry I had been that night, how desperately I wanted someone else to hurt simply because I was hurting too, and how satisfying it briefly felt to know Julian sounded jealous on the other end of the phone.“To be honest,” he said after a pause long enough for me to hear him breathe through the door, “I was furious.”There was no defensiveness in his voice anymore, no attempt to soften what he had done or disguise the ugliness of it.“And all I could think at the time was that if you divorced him, maybe I would finally stop feeling this completely unbearable loss of control whenever it came to you.
Evelyn's POVAnd the more I thought about it, the more horrifying another realization became, because underneath all those questions was one truth I suddenly couldn’t escape from anymore:I had never seriously questioned him at all.Not really.Somewhere along the way, I trusted Julian so naturally, so instinctively, that I stopped trying to understand him altogether, and instead I accepted every carefully timed appearance, every act of tenderness, every coincidence that brought him closer to me because being around him felt safe enough that I wanted to believe there was nothing underneath it worth fearing.I wanted to believe in him so badly that I never stopped to ask whether the version of Julian I fell for was real, or simply the version he wanted me to see.I genuinely thought I was getting to know him.Ever since Julian became my neighbor, ever since he brought Lemon home and learned how to care for her with this impossible amount of patience and tenderness, I had accumulated hun
Evelyn's POVThe moment the door closed behind me, it felt as though the entire world had finally been shut out by something solid and immovable, like a wall rising abruptly between me and everything waiting outside, and for the first time that night, there were no voices chasing after me, no headlights cutting through the dark, no Julian looking at me with that expression that always made me hesitate right before I walked away.I let go of the suitcase without even properly setting it down, and it hit the floor with a heavy sound that echoed through the apartment while I stayed leaning against the door behind me, my body slowly giving out until I slid all the way down and ended up sitting on the cold floor with my knees bent against my chest.The second I stopped moving, my breathing completely lost its rhythm.It was as if everything I had been forcing down outside—the humiliation, the confusion, the anger, the heartbreak, the effort it took to keep my face calm in front of Sebastia
Evelyn's POVJulian’s voice came lower this time, steadier than mine, but I still caught the hesitation buried underneath it.That hesitation hurt worse than denial would have.Because it meant Sebastian was telling the truth.Slowly, I looked at Julian.And for the first time since meeting him, I felt distance instead of safety.“So it really was you.”My voice shook embarrassingly on the last word.The expression on Julian’s face changed immediately, like hearing the hurt in my voice physically struck him.“Evelyn, it’s not what you think—”“Then what was it?”I laughed softly, but the sound came out thin and unsteady enough that I hated myself for it instantly.“Was watching me embarrass myself entertaining for you?”“No.”His answer came immediately.Too immediately.But my chest already felt too tight to hear him properly anymore.“Or maybe you thought I wasn’t miserable enough yet,” I continued before he could get closer, before he could soften his voice and confuse me again. “M
Evelyn's POVThe moment the plane landed, I switched off airplane mode almost instinctively.The signal hadn’t even fully recovered before I was already inside Julian’s chat window, typing faster than I probably should have after a six-hour flight and two hours of delay.Evelyn: I finally made itE
Julian's POV“You’re handling this better than I am,” I muttered while glancing down at Lemon.She offered no response whatsoever. Lemon had no concept of waiting for someone. I did.Eventually I had no choice but to start walking circles outside the terminal with Lemon because standing still any l
Julian's POVEvelyn: How’s Lemon doing? I saw you took her to the hospitalThe message appeared on my screen while I was sitting on the floor beside Lemon pretending not to monitor my notifications with military-grade attention.I replied almost immediately, though not quickly enough to seem desper
Evelyn's POVAfter the video call ended, I stood in the middle of the living room staring at the dark screen for far longer than any psychologically stable person probably should have.The apartment had gone quiet again, the kind of quiet that only became noticeable after hearing someone’s voice yo







