Chapter Six

Anna's POV

“Open the damn door, Anna!” Erica banged her fist against the door, her voice echoing through the small flat which seemed to be getting smaller and smaller by the minute. I was sitting on my bed sobbing.

I don't know why I was crying so hard.  

Maybe it was the pain from earlier, or maybe it was the fact that I was going insane. 

There were so many things I couldn't understand and I couldn't think straight, but my heart was breaking. My body was breaking down, breaking into pieces.

“Let me in!” Erica continued.

“Babe” another voice followed, it was Danny.

It was hard not to picture him standing in front of Erica, his hands on her shoulders and his eyes practically shooting out hearts. I could bet that it was exactly what he was doing.

“Why wouldn't she talk to me?” I heard Erica sigh. 

I knew exactly what she was doing, she knew I was listening and wanted me to hear their conversation. To know what they thought and cared about me but I wasn't going to take the bait, I would pretend I didn't hear and stay here pretending that I was fine. Pretending it didn't hurt. I could try harder, I thought, even though I knew it was futile.

“She needs it” Danny's voice was cool and collected.

“But...” she started to protest.

“Babe, trust me when I say she needs it” After several moments, Erica gave up and walked away. I heard her heavy footsteps disappear before I collapsed on the bed. 

I could feel the tension rising in me, and as soon as I could control myself, I sat up straight and grabbed my bag, taking out a bottle of antidepressants I took every day, taking two out, and swallowing them without water. I laid back on my bed, my body numb. I closed my eyes and concentrated on my breathing.

My eyelids grew heavy and my thoughts blurred until sleep came knocking, drawing me into its clutches and dragging me under.

When I woke up the following morning, I couldn't find it in me to care about anything other than getting ready for work. 

Erica was waiting for me and I avoided her gaze, going to sit on the couch, munching breakfast like she was not there. 

There was an odd silence surrounding us, one neither of us dared to break, even though I wanted to scream at her that everything was okay, that I was fine, but I decided not to ruin the mood.

We both were silent for several minutes as I put on my shoes and grabbed my bag but it fell off. I paused before turning around to look at her. She had an unreadable expression on her face.

“What?” I snapped when her silence dragged further. “Stop looking at me like that” I mumbled under my breath.

“Like what?”

 Her tone was flat, her brows furrowed slightly and I knew exactly what she was trying to say.

“Like something is wrong with me” I replied coldly and her expression grew more serious. 

Her eyebrows raised in surprise and disbelief. I knew it, she finally found the courage and was about to ask me what was wrong when she closed her mouth and looked down at her lap. I could tell she was having this battle against herself.

“But isn't there?” she said it so meekly that she sounded like a child.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. She knew exactly what she was doing. That stubborn girl knew how to push buttons, no matter how much I disliked that, she made her point very clear.

“I am fine,” I told her.

“That is what you have been saying, Anna! I know you want to assure yourself that you are fine, but you are not! You've been spacing out a lot lately and I can't understand it! Then you cry, I have lost count of the number of times I've heard you cry from your room, the number of times I heard you cry in the shower, the number of times I heard your muffled wails coming from your bedroom.” She reached over to grab my hand “Anna. What happened? Why can't I figure it out? Is there something else happening other than what I know?” Her fingers squeezed mine tightly as if she was scared I'd run away again.

“Nothing happened,” I assured her. “I'm fine, I promise you, you can stop worrying now,” I said confidently but she stared at me for so long that I began feeling uncomfortable. Was she expecting me to crack under the pressure? I opened my mouth but quickly shut it when she raised her free hand to cut me off.

Her eyes were dark and stormy and they held a look of pleading. “I will drop it. For today” she whispered. She let go of my hand and got up. “Let's go to work”

I nodded and picked up my bag. We walked out of the house silently and Erica started walking to her car without looking at me. I followed behind her.

Silently, we sat inside the car. I kept my head facing the window and Erica didn't utter a word as she turned the engine to life and drove away from home. 

It felt weird seeing her like that, knowing that Erica was never angry. Even in those situations in which she was mad, she wouldn't lash at me. It made it worse because I didn't know what to do when she was angry at me.

I noticed the veins on her hands for gripping the steering wheel so hard, her knuckles turned white. My stomach twisted at the thought that I caused those bruises.

She was quiet throughout the drive and when we finally got there, I hopped off the car like I was being chased, unable to deal with the awkwardness between the both of us anymore.

The first thing I did once was to grab the files from my cabinet behind me and sat on my desk and tried to focus on my work. I didn't have time to worry about the past for now, I could bother about that later knowing that if I made a single mistake, I was going to have to deal with the new boss.