MY SISTER SHADOW

AMARA POV

The moment I stepped into the living room, the air shifted.

The room fell quiet. Too quiet. And all three heads turned to me at once..Mom, Dad, and Nina. Their eyes fixed on me like I was a puzzle they had already solved. My skin prickled, I felt goosebumps.

I knew that look.

It was the same look they always wore before something terrible was about to be asked of me. Something that had nothing to do with love and everything to do with blood.

“Sweetie, you’re back,” Mom said, her voice unusually soft.

She walked over and took my hand. “I made your favorite. It’s on the table,” she added with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

Behind her, the maids were setting the table like we were some happy, peaceful family. Like I hadn’t just walked into a silent war disguised as kindness.

I could feel Dad’s eyes on me, cold, quiet, unreadable.

I swallowed hard. My stomach twisted, and not because I was hungry. I sat at the table, picked at the food, and kept glancing at them. Their gaze flickered, their mouths moved in small whispers. Mom forced small smiles. Dad stayed quiet, firm. Nina sat there, eyes lowered like she already knew.

Then Dad spoke.

“She needs a kidney transplant,” he said flatly.

His voice was like stone. No warmth. Just fact. Just expectation.

I froze.

Of course.

Of course, it was something like this.

The food in my mouth turned to dust. I stared at them, hoping I had heard wrong. But I hadn’t.

This was it. Again.

Tears welled in my eyes, burning. I stood quickly, my chair scraping loudly against the floor. I grabbed my backpack and ran upstairs, the sound of my footsteps too loud in the silent house.

Once in my room, I slammed the door shut and locked it. My chest was tight, my breath coming in sharp, shallow gasps.

This was it. This was my life.

I was the mirror child. That’s what I called myself, anyway. Not a daughter. Not a sister. A spare. A copy. A reflection of someone more important.

Nina had always been sick, ever since we were little. And I… I was the backup plan. The donor. The piece of her they kept ready.

Blood? I gave it.

Bone marrow? They took it.

Skin grafts? Yes, they did that too.

Platelet transfusion? Done.

Always me. Always my body.

And never once did I get to say no.

I buried my face in my pillow, squeezing it until my arms ached. The tears came fast, soaking the fabric. My chest heaved as I cried, not just for now but for every single time they did this to me.

When I was seven, Nina had a rare infection. I gave blood, twice in one week. I was too weak to even walk properly afterward, but they said I was “brave.”

When I was nine, she needed a marrow match. They told me it would just be “a little sting.” I screamed and cried, begged them not to do it, clung to Mom’s dress, shaking.

She peeled me off and said, “If you don’t do it, your sister could die.”

That was always the line. Always.

If you don’t, she’ll die.

If you don’t, it’ll be your fault.

If you don’t, you're selfish.

I pressed the pillow harder against my face, trying to smother the sound of my own sobs. But they wouldn't stop. The memories were endless. The pain, the guilt they fed me like breakfast. And I… I swallowed it. Every time.

They made me believe Nina’s life was more valuable than mine.

And maybe that’s how they always saw it. She was the miracle child, the one they prayed for. The precious gem. I was the “lucky coincidence,” born as a perfect genetic match. A living donor in the shape of a daughter.

I threw the pillow across the room.

It hit the wall and fell with a soft thud.

I grabbed my teddy bear from the shelf and hugged it tightly. The last gift I got before my childhood disappeared.

“You were six,” they said.

“You set the kitchen on fire,” they said.

“You fainted. Nina ran in to save you. She breathed in so much smoke that it damaged her lungs.”

And just like that, her sickness became my fault. That one moment I don’t even remember. They told me I had memory loss. That I owe her this life.

So I started owing.

And never stopped.

I sniffled, rocking back and forth on the floor.

I don’t even know who I am anymore. I don’t have friends. I don’t go out. I can’t even have hobbies or plans because at any moment, Nina could fall sick again, and I’d be called in like a machine part. Like a tool.

And now they want my kidney.

My kidney.

My body isn’t even fully grown yet, and they want to take a part of it again. And for what?

To save someone who never looked at me as a sister, only as her personal healer.

Nina never thanks me. She never even talks to me unless she’s in pain. Then she cries and says she doesn’t want to die, and everyone turns to me like I’m supposed to fix it. Like I created the mess.

I’m not a person to them.

I’m a solution.

A living sacrifice.

I curled into a ball on the floor, clutching the bear tighter, my nails digging into its soft fur. My chest felt like it would explode from the weight pressing down on it.

I didn’t ask to be born for this.

I didn’t ask to be her savior.

I want a life of my own. I want to be loved for who I am, not for what I can give. I want someone to look at me and not see a donor card.

I want out.

A soft knock came at the door.

I didn’t answer.

“Amara?” It was Mom’s voice.

I stayed quiet.

Another knock.

“We didn’t mean to upset you. We just, We’re desperate. Your sister I'”

I covered my ears.

No. Not this time.

I won’t be guilted again. I can’t.

If I say yes again, I might never find the strength to say no.

I squeezed my eyes shut, whispering to myself, “This is my body. This is my life.”

And for once in my life, I wanted to mean it.